View Full Version : Gary Speed found dead
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/8918628/Wales-boss-Gary-Speed-found-dead.html#.TtIua5VvmjI.facebook
Im totally shocked, I was watching him on football focus yesterday, lifelong Everton fan and all round nice fella! R.I.P Gary!
It is so sad and at such a young age. We never know what is going on behind peoples smiles :(
R.I.P
theloner
27-11-2011, 15:21
He was great model for all that is good in football, RIP
CaribeCelt
27-11-2011, 15:39
R.I.P Gary Speed...What a great job he was doing with Wales,a great loss to football.
Here's a tribute to him from former Everton manager Joe Royle
http://www.evertonfc.com//news/archive/2011/11/27/royle-pays-tribute?utm_source=rss_everton&utm_medium=rss_feed&utm_term=Royle+Pays+Speed+Tribute
totally shocked to hear this news early this afternoon....
Gary Speed was a Evertonian through and through...besides playing for the likes of Leeds, Bolton, Newcastle,Sheff.Utd...etc. Gary was club captain at Everton..captained his country Wales and went on to manage his country...
a very ,very sad loss to football as a whole and deepest condolences to his immediate family ...
R.I.P. Gary Speed...
lozzie1821
28-11-2011, 00:21
I do not feel for Gary Speed one little bit.... Cowards way out in my opinion... whats so great about a man who leave 2 young boys fatherless??.. fatherless 4weeks before xmas... wha a man ey?
If you wanna feel sorry for him at all - feel sorry for that poor family hes left behind and feel for how those boys are gonna feel.
Andy0210
28-11-2011, 00:40
I do not feel for Gary Speed one little bit.... Cowards way out in my opinion... whats so great about a man who leave 2 young boys fatherless??.. fatherless 4weeks before xmas... wha a man ey?
If you wanna feel sorry for him at all - feel sorry for that poor family hes left behind and feel for how those boys are gonna feel.
Ooooo ouch! :hide:
Perhaps a tad more respect could be applied here, it may be a cowards way out but it takes a brave man to do it. :rolleyes:
I thought what lozzie thought, but until the full story comes out or doesn't who are we to make a judgement, I have always thought suicide is a selfish act, but if there are mental health issues which can cloud peoples choices at that moment in time, that is something we will never know. I feel so sorry for his children who will suffer from this for the rest of their lives my prayers are with them and his wife.
Andy0210
28-11-2011, 01:02
I thought what lozzie thought, but until the full story comes out or doesn't who are we to make a judgement, I have always thought suicide is a selfish act, but if there are mental health issues which can cloud peoples choices at that moment in time, that is something we will never know. I feel so sorry for his children who will suffer from this for the rest of their lives my prayers are with them and his wife.
I agree, i feel for his family left behind but for someone who seemed to have everything right up until yesterday whilst appearing on national TV to do something like this is incredible, i feel for his family and his kids but he must have been in one hell of a state of torment over something in his life to do something so desperate. :(
lozzie1821
28-11-2011, 01:10
Ooooo ouch! :hide:
Perhaps a tad more respect could be applied here, it may be a cowards way out but it takes a brave man to do it. :rolleyes:
is a sad state of affairs when people feel this is their way out & its a shame it came to that but he CHOSE to do what he did. hes left behind a wife who is left to console 2 broke hearted lil boys on xmas day when daddy isnt there to play with them.
I kno what thats like.. Ive seen that look in Ava-Rae and it broke my heart so no i dont feel for him at all - whatever his issues those boys should have given him that kick up the **** to deal with whatever was making him feel the way he was...
i have no disrespect for him, he had a fantastic career, he was a great player and a credit to sports tv.. Never a bad word to be said about him BUT that does not make what he did acceptable.. People struggle, hes no different to others in the "limelight" but you dont see all them hanging themselves when times get hard... Sorry but again i feel for those kids more than i feel for him.. He took the cowards way out & has now left 2 young boys who will be in no doubt be in more emotional/mental turmoil than any child their age should be in - turmoil as parents we are meant to shield them from... x
I know, what he did was final, hanging is not a cry for help, it is a brutal way to end your life but it was his choice to do this and god willing his family will know why he chose to do this.
karinagal
28-11-2011, 01:20
I understand what you're saying Lozzie and I respect your right to say it. It sounds as if your anger might be due to some personal experience?
It's true that the loss of any family member seems more acute at this time of the year. Of course you are right that his children are going to find it very hard to deal with. However, at least they will have the closure that he is gone and won't be coming back. A lot of people who are fighting demons of one sort or another simply get up one day and disappear .... leaving friends and family not just worrying for years to come but quietly hoping that one day they will return.
As far as I am aware, no-one knows as yet what may have driven him to such drastic action. I can't call him a coward - it WAS a selfish act but until we've walked a mile in another's shoes, we have no right to judge them by our own standards....
Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
lozzie1821
28-11-2011, 01:42
I understand what you're saying Lozzie and I respect your right to say it. It sounds as if your anger might be due to some personal experience?
i know from personal experience what suicide can do to a family.. my aunty commited suicide when her sons were young, 2 of them bearly in their teens but it was obvious why she did it to our family.
My ex left me 2weeks before xmas and the look on my daughters face on xmas day when she was looking for him broke my heart, shes 3 and she understood he wasnt there. cried for hours for him. so forgive me for feeling for those 2 boys..
timmylish
28-11-2011, 01:48
It does not really surprise me at the reaction of some on here but, I have to say. Unless this situation has faced you directly, ie you have had the desire to commit suicide and may even have taken steps to implement, none of us really knows and will never.
As has been said, at least there is a measure of closure with Gary. I have a situation at the moment where a very dear friend of Mrs. T. living here on Tenerife was telephoned 2 weeks ago, by her Daughter in Ukraine. The call was to report that her Son-in-Law (her Daughter.s husband) had gone to another city close by, on the regular bus, had got off at the bus stop due only to disappear! He was going for a new job interview, not having been able to get a job for the last few years, and was very excited about the prospect. I actually deal with the oldest child who is only 11 year old. I help her with her English, using Skype, and up until that terrible day I can honestly say that I was delighted with the wee lassies,s improvement from when I first started. Now she is totally dejected, no matter what, is disinterested. I,ve tried using the services of the BBC programmes for Kids and any other resources available. She has asked me directly where her Daddy is, alive or dead etc etc. Naturally I always have the lassie,s Mum at hand when I am on Skype with her but when silence falls I do try to answer the question in the way I see fit. It might not be the correct way but having had 3 Kids of my own I,ve always answered their questions as they arose. Now the purpose of this is even the Child has told me that she would rather know if her Daddy was dead because then there would be a service in Church and go to the place where people are buried. Maybe then she and her Mum would not cry so much. Aye. As most of us know "from the mouth of babies".
So, to Gary,s Family, my condolences and may the Family live in Peace.
CaribeCelt
28-11-2011, 02:13
I do not feel for Gary Speed one little bit.... Cowards way out in my opinion... whats so great about a man who leave 2 young boys fatherless??.. fatherless 4weeks before xmas... wha a man ey?
If you wanna feel sorry for him at all - feel sorry for that poor family hes left behind and feel for how those boys are gonna feel.
Maybe you should read into the ill's of mental health conditions,,you idiot.
Nobody knows what the poor soul was going through...and this has nothing to do with being a football supporter.
Something must snap in the mind when a father leaves his two boys behind like this..but to call him a coward is to show a complete lack of understanding of mental health issues.
Maybe you should show a wee bit of restraint when commenting you idiot.
well my heart goes out to the whole of the family, and gary must have been a very tormented soul, nobody with a sane mind can do such an act so he was obviously a very sick man that could put on a good act, that nobody could have seen it coming.,god rest his tormented soul.
karinagal
28-11-2011, 07:56
i know from personal experience what suicide can do to a family.. my aunty commited suicide when her sons were young, 2 of them bearly in their teens but it was obvious why she did it to our family.
My ex left me 2weeks before xmas and the look on my daughters face on xmas day when she was looking for him broke my heart, shes 3 and she understood he wasnt there. cried for hours for him. so forgive me for feeling for those 2 boys..
You don't need anyone's forgiveness, your personal experience gives you an insight into the possible impact on the family. Although I don't feel the same way, I understand your views.
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Added after 4 minutes:
Maybe you should read into the ill's of mental health conditions,,you idiot.
Nobody knows what the poor soul was going through...and this has nothing to do with being a football supporter.
Something must snap in the mind when a father leaves his two boys behind like this..but to call him a coward is to show a complete lack of understanding of mental health issues.
Maybe you should show a wee bit of restraint when commenting you idiot.
Everyone has a right to air their views - we all have our own unique perspective on things which is shaped by our own experiences. Having said that, I think that your response to Lozzie is a bit on the strong side. You can disagree without resorting to personal insult..
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bonitatime
28-11-2011, 13:08
I think Lozzie is young and therefore more judgemental. No insult intended. As she has little ones it has to bring things home to her.
I feel sorry for his family but can't imagine what your state of mind has to be to reach this point. I can't see it as a cowards way just someone who has reached the point of no return. DEP.
Not sure unless you have lived somone elses life you should make judgements but depression whether admited or not is a terrible thing.
Tom & Sharon
28-11-2011, 13:37
I do not feel for Gary Speed one little bit.... Cowards way out in my opinion... whats so great about a man who leave 2 young boys fatherless??.. fatherless 4weeks before xmas... wha a man ey?
If you wanna feel sorry for him at all - feel sorry for that poor family hes left behind and feel for how those boys are gonna feel.
You know nothing of the state of Gary Speed's marriage or financial circumstances or any other personal circumstances in his life that drove him to this?
Do you not think that as he was putting the rope around his neck he did not think of his two young boys and the wife he was leaving behind??
Of course he did,yet he still choose the action he did.
His mental state at the time was all consuming and he went into his own little world and carried out this terrible act.
A very very lonely time in anyone's life,but to be called a coward is wrong!!
I'll refrain from name calling,however you make me very angry with your crass comment:angry::angry:
RIP Gary and my deepest deepest sympathy to all his family and friends.
Tom
lozzie1821
28-11-2011, 13:44
Maybe you should read into the ill's of mental health conditions,,you idiot.
Nobody knows what the poor soul was going through...and this has nothing to do with being a football supporter.
Something must snap in the mind when a father leaves his two boys behind like this..but to call him a coward is to show a complete lack of understanding of mental health issues.
Maybe you should show a wee bit of restraint when commenting you idiot.
who are you to call me an idiot? ITS MY OPINION!!
it "seems" he had everything most people ever wanted, complete loving family, good career behind and infront of him, plenty of friends and a life many of us can only dream about.
to me to avoid whatever problems he had he took the cowards way out of dealing with them. sorry if you dont like my opinion but you know what THATS LIFE MATE!
Added after 11 minutes:
You know nothing of the state of Gary Speed's marriage or financial circumstances or any other personal circumstances in his life that drove him to this?
Do you not think that as he was putting the rope around his neck he did not think of his two young boys and the wife he was leaving behind??
Of course he did,yet he still choose the action he did.
His mental state at the time was all consuming and he went into his own little world and carried out this terrible act.
A very very lonely time in anyone's life,but to be called a coward is wrong!!
I'll refrain from name calling,however you make me very angry with your crass comment:angry::angry:
RIP Gary and my deepest deepest sympathy to all his family and friends.
Tom
I totally get what you are all saying - maybe coward was abit harsh then.
but if we go by what you have said "Do you not think that as he was putting the rope around his neck he did not think of his two young boys and the wife he was leaving behind??" then those 2 boys should have been worth living for surely? any parent (maybe its just me) should be there 2 protect their children/shield them from harm not put them through years of emotional/mental hell these poor boys will go through & lets not forget 4weeks before xmas... im sorry but i cant see how he thought enough of them when he did what he did...
yes i am young and ive suffered from depression myself Post natal depression! Ive been in a bad place after having my daughter but you know what it was my daughter to gave me the strengh to get back to the person i was...
My ex left me 2weeks before xmas last year & i seen the look on my daughters face looking for her daddy in the apt, crying for him and shes just 3 so i can only begin to imagine what his poor wife will have to go through on xmas day and THEY are who i feel sorry for!!
something thats not all over the tv and press is the fact that a young british soldier,with everything to live for,lost his life unselfishly in afganistan yesterday.a true hero http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15909522
I have known four different people who committed suicide, all for different reasons. Some were closer to me than others and my only question was; Could I have done or said anything to make them change their mind? At no point did I think they were cowards, children were involved in all cases as were parents of varying ages. Yes it leaves problems behind but that is not their problem anymore. Possibly one of the reasons why people decide to take their own life is that they had got one too many problems this time. I know all the reasons why the ones I mentioned took their own life and they were all different.
I saw Gary Speed in Knutsford at football where his sons play and the team I coach play a few weeks ago. We were stood next to each other getting a coffee. He was in a happy mood with his friends and as people have stated in the media, there were no outward signs.
Unless anyone knows what that particular individual has experienced it is unwise to criticise.
TommyMac
28-11-2011, 18:05
R.I.P Gary Speed Im still in shock after hearing the news yesterday, I think he was a rare breed for a footballer,
someone who every teams supporters respected.
I can only imagine that as he was putting the rope round his neck, that he thought his 2 boys would be better off without him. Imo, the only people who called these poor people "cowards" are the same ones that tell depressed people to "snap out of it". Trust me, chronic depression is a DISEASE under whose control you can completely rationalise the most horrific thoughts.
P.S. There is a huge difference between "normal" depression and "chronic/manic"
Goforgold
28-11-2011, 22:47
It seems that many of you fortunately don't know much about suicide and I am so pleased that you don't.
I unfortunately know a great deal about it, well as much as anyone can know about it, not even doctors really know what exactly happens in the brain when someone commits or tries to commit suicide. There is still so very much to learn about how the brain works and doctors aren't really much nearer in finding out exactly what happens in these situations.
A person who commits suicide does not sit and rationalise it. The brain goes into an altered state, and at that time they generally have no thoughts or feelings for the people they love - suicide usually is something that the brain 'drives' them to do, the person at that moment just has to get away from themselves. It is very difficult to explain and you would need to read at length to get anywhere near how they are feeling. Unless you have ever felt these feelings you will not understand. I fortunately have never experienced them myself, but I talked and listened to my daughter over a long enough period of time and got a very small understanding of the torment the mind can be in.
Usually suicide comes during a bout of depression but in many instances it can happen just out of the blue with no indications. They can be extremely happy one minute and then suddenly the brain has a chemical change without warning.
I unfortunately lost my daughter but fortunately I spent enough time with her to know that she would never have committed suicide had she been in a rational state of mind at that moment. I feel very lucky, because many families who have not had this insight will often blame the person who has left them, saying all the things that I am reading on this thread which are just not true.
I heard a well respected news reader state that Gary seemed to be such a great role model for the children. Gary was a great role model for the children and still is. If he had been killed in a car crash, this presenter would never have said that he "seemed" to be such a great role model. Not enough is spoken about suicide and until it is, most people will come up with these statements such as "how could he leave his children", etc etc. Suicide doesn't work like that, the brain doesn't work like that.
I only hope that Gary's family find out as much as they can about the illness that causes the brain to work like this, so that they don't blame him for something that he had no control over.
I know I haven't explained things very well. It is a very complicated subject, but I would urge anyone who wants to blame Gary, please just go onto the numerous websites that are around, they will at least explain as much as anyone can about suicide.
Please remember, most suicides are not rationalised, even if notes are left and they have made plans. The brain at that particular time is in an altered state and not capable of thinking of the people who will be left behind. It just doesn't work like that. Anyone who has suffered from what they call depression will know exactly how awful these feelings are. I read a book which contained experiences by girls who had felt suicidal , one girl said the 'pain' was 30 times worse than giving birth when she suffered from it. That gives you just a small idea of how bad it is when the brain goes into that state.
Added after 7 minutes:
I can only imagine that as he was putting the rope round his neck, that he thought his 2 boys would be better off without him. Imo, the only people who called these poor people "cowards" are the same ones that tell depressed people to "snap out of it". Trust me, chronic depression is a DISEASE under whose control you can completely rationalise the most horrific thoughts.
P.S. There is a huge difference between "normal" depression and "chronic/manic"
Dokgolf, you have explained it so much better than I have. As you say when the brain is in that altered state it is capable of rationalising the most horrific of thoughts. Not having suffered from depression it is difficult to convey what my daughter tried to explain. Thank you.
Many thanks for the explanation Gfg, so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm a bit lost for words at the moment after reading your post. I'll keep you and your daughter in my thoughts.
D.
yourneighbourdi
28-11-2011, 22:58
Maybe this should be a family issue. Nobody knows what happens behind closed doors...and certainly nobody has the right to judge..or is this Forum going the same way as UK papers...
Goforgold
28-11-2011, 23:00
Many thanks for the explanation Gfg, so sorry to hear of your loss. I'm a bit lost for words at the moment after reading your post. I'll keep you and your daughter in my thoughts.
D.
Thank you for your thoughts dokgolf. I don't want this thread to be about my daughter, but I always try to explain to people, whenever I can that suicide is nothing to do with the person being thoughtless or not caring, even she couldn't understand what was happening to her in those times and was very scared.
Sundowner
28-11-2011, 23:35
Lozzie you are not an idiot, what you said was what most people think 1st, but then they reflect on why a guy who had so much to live for would commit suicide and the only answer is that the balance of his mind was disturbed.
I knew a guy who had what most people would call a perfect life, loving wife. great kids, nice house a few million in the bank and one day he went out and blew his brains out! It was a shock to all his friends, but it turned out that he was battling chronic depression (which non of his friends knew) and one day it got the better of him.
He was not a coward or an unloving father, just someone who was sick, depression is and can be a silent killer!
YOUNG GOLFER
28-11-2011, 23:50
Goforgold i am sorry for your loss x
As for Gary's family i know you won't get to read this but please be strong remember him for what he was up until that sad day.
I have seen with my own eyes two people end their lives this way...it is very very sad...i know members will have their own view on things but let's try to remember friends family and people like Gary for the days they were with us.
Having been the person who once found someone who had gassed himself in his car I can understand Lozzie's sentiments even though I strongly disagree with them. I'm fortunate that I have never suffered from depression but it is a terrible illness. I don;t even try to understand it but I sympathise with anyone who suffers from it.
The words of the vicar who conducted the funeral of the friend who committed suicide have always stuck in my head. My friend was a retired airline pilot who was suffering from terrible depression. What the vicar said brought it all home.
" Imagine an airline pilot who's flying a plane in the thickest fog you could ever imagine. All the instruments start to fail one by one. Then the fuel starts to run out. The fog is getting worse. Everything that could possibly goes wrong does and you can't see any way out at all. All you can think about is getting it over with before the inevitable happens"
A lot more was said but those words made me a lot more understanding of people living with utter despair.
No-one knows what is going on behind closed doors and unless you know all the circumstances fully it's not your place to judge.
timmylish
29-11-2011, 00:17
DaveRF.
I think you put that rather succinctly and if anyone cannot follow where you are coming from then they should read this over and over and ...........
Ecky Thump
29-11-2011, 00:32
My thoughts are with Gary Speeds family at this very sad time in their life.
A few words that I read today, that we all should learn from ......
Before you assume,
Learn the facts.
Before you judge,
Understand why.
Before you hurt someone,
Feel.
Before you speak,
Think.
i will die before my kids,i brought them in this world,i will be here to protect them till i die,no matter what.my kids are the greatest gift ive ever had......but they are my thoughts
This is not a popular view but suicide is ultimately a selfish act - while it eases your burden it absolutely shatters those who are left behind to pick up the pieces. People are, of course, desperate beyond belief when they kill themselves so judgement of them as being cowards' is rather vile.
It's brave in the sense of the finality of the act, but you can argue the real victims are the ones who are left behind.
People snap,we know not why, depression is a serious illness and has baffled medical experts for years. The mind becomes unbalanced for reasons unknown,its just so sad and i hope and pray his family can forgive him.
The vast majority of depression cases is caused by a chemical imbalance, more often than not, the body doesn't produce enough of a hormone called serotonin, which is also a nuerotransmitter. The puzzle is why the body stops producing in sufficent quantity. I just want to emphasise again, depression is a DISEASE. It doesn't happen BECAUSE someone is mentally unbalanced, it CAUSES people to become this way.
he wasnt deppressed http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2066812/Gary-Speed-death-rumours-Happily-married-wife-Louise-wasnt-depressed.html
I'll give you any odds you want that he suffered from depression. Depressants are very adept at hiding it. I, unfortunately, know what I'm talking about here.
I'll give you any odds you want that he suffered from depression. Depressants are very adept at hiding it. I, unfortunately, know what I'm talking about here.alas,we can only speculate now.we will never know
Goforgold
29-11-2011, 19:14
I'll give you any odds you want that he suffered from depression. Depressants are very adept at hiding it. I, unfortunately, know what I'm talking about here.
When I lost Mellanie I joined Parents of Suicide for support and one on line. I went to a meeting in Birmingham where hundreds of parents throughout the UK who had lost children to suicide, gathered to get more insight into the disease. Some parents knew their children were suffering from depression but there were a lot whose children showed no signs whatsoever. There are no time frames to when these feelings can come on. As Dokgolf says others are very good at hiding it, particularly men who find it difficult to talk about things. It is possible that Gary Speed had no signs before last Sunday, this is how quickly the mind can change from functioning in what most of us call a 'normal state'.
I do understand how many people condemn people for committing suicide, we did exactly the same until it was in our midst, but as mentioned in my earlier post, if you don't understand the illness then please take the time to do some research.
lozzie1821
29-11-2011, 20:58
well after reading stories in todays paper - agent & wife both state he was not depressed and they rule that out as a reason for doing what he did... (maybe its what they want to believe - but maybe not).
Suicide is BRAVE act - dont get me wrong i would never have the balls to do it BUT its selfish and i know many of you will agree and only a handful will actually say so on here - yes times get hard and times get tough THATS LIFE!! he was lucky to have the life he did, most people can only dream of having what he did..
He has left his wife to pick up the pieces - the poor woman who FOUND HIM!! why is someone who done what he did getting all the media attention.. what about his wife and kids? the ones who are now living the nightmare he has left them in...
kids are there to protect and shield from pain/harm/upset not be the cause of it all - maybe thats just me though.
Ive been depressed before, Post natal depression to be exact and when times were hard for me and i didnt think i would make it through the day it was my little girl who made me make it through the day.. the one who gave me the strengh to get help... Yes i thought sometimes shed be better off without me (in the sense of not living with me) i would never cause her the heartache of leaving her in this world alone & i rekon MOST parents would feel the same, what made him any diffo??
Goforgold
29-11-2011, 21:27
I'm sorry Lozzie that you haven't taken the time to read up on the subject or take any notice of my posts, there doesn't have to have been a history of depression for this illness to suddenly strike. There are many forms of depression and it is a very complicated illness and comes in many different forms. Some people, like yourself, are able to come through it, others are not so fortunate. One in three people will suffer with some kind of mental illness during their lifetime. Gary Speed did what he did through an illness of the brain, no other reason. Bravery or having 'the balls' doesn't come into it, you are talking as if someone has suddenly just decided they've had enough and decided to end it for whatever reason. It isn't anything like that.
Lozzie, I mean this sincerely, please educate yourself before making such sweeping statements. I appreciate you don't and indeed can't understand why he did this. That's the whole point, to a normal "sane" person nothing, but nothing, could ever lead them to taking their own life. But people in this situation are not sane. As I said previously, when you're in this condition, you can rationalise the most horrific thoughts. I know personally, of a man who killed his two children before taking his own life. No sane person could comtemplate such actions but the severely depressed can not only comtemplate such actions but also rationalise that they are in the best interests of themselves and their children. It has nothing to do with how "hard" life is, what their personal circumstances were. This is an illness that can strike anybody, yourself included. Again I repeat, it is a chemical imbalance that affects the brain. By saying "Thats life!" shows a lack of understanding of this disease ( which unfortunately a lot of people seem to share).
Gary speed was a legend, one of my favourite players when I was growing up - I'm a Leeds united fan.
Football and the wider world has lost a legend.
lozzie1821
29-11-2011, 21:47
I'm sorry Lozzie that you haven't taken the time to read up on the subject or take any notice of my posts, there doesn't have to have been a history of depression for this illness to suddenly strike. There are many forms of depression and it is a very complicated illness and comes in many different forms. Some people, like yourself, are able to come through it, others are not so fortunate. One in three people will suffer with some kind of mental illness during their lifetime. Gary Speed did what he did through an illness of the brain, no other reason. Bravery or having 'the balls' doesn't come into it, you are talking as if someone has suddenly just decided they've had enough and decided to end it for whatever reason. It isn't anything like that.
but when we look at gary speeds case ALONE.. it looks like that way to me.. it doesnt make sense why he did what he did when it "seemed" he had everything and didnt come across depressed to family, friends, players, fans etc as it states they so so in the papers.. (yes u cant believe everything the papers tell you & yes i know depression can be underlying and not visible to people for it to be made a concern until its too late)..
I have read your posts and i do take what you have said like others peoples posts but everyones situations are different, like you said many get through it, many dont.. id like to say i got through it but i have my days.. depression doesnt go away EVER.. it might no be so severe with help/tablets etc its ALWAYS apart of a person but maybe some of us believe there are people out there worth getting better for regardless and ok everyone is different but surely MOST parents will do anything for their children even if they are sick (from whatever illness)
It was hard for me 2 admit i needed help, i felt useless, a failure etc but what use was i to my daughter unwell.... I wasnt use at all..
what has gary speed accomplished from this? what use is he now to the children he left behind 4WEEKS BEFORE XMAS..
Goforgold
30-11-2011, 10:05
I believe there are several other footballers that have come forward and admitted they have depression and have asked for help as they don't want to end up doing what Gary did. I am hoping with football being the most popular sport in the world that mental illness will be discussed a lot more openly now so that people like Lozzie will get a better understanding. With the majority of people having these misconceptions of the illness, isn't it any wonder people won't admit to being ill?!!
This illness is no different to finding out you have cancer or any other illness, except you cannot see it and won't get much sympathy. Just because one person comes through the illness doesn't mean the next person will. Some cancer patients survive others don't, it depends on so many factors of the body.
his last interview he said"my family and kids are my life"???????? there are rumours doin the rounds at the usual places, i wont elaborate. buthe was not deppressed i tell thee
lozzie1821
30-11-2011, 11:07
his last interview he said"my family and kids are my life"???????? there are rumours doin the rounds at the usual places, i wont elaborate. buthe was not deppressed i tell thee
Im going by what i read in the paper and what people are saying in "statements!" I have an understanding of depression, Ive suffered from it, My aunty suffered from it (and i seen what effects it has on 3 boys), Im not stupid nor am i naive about the fact depression is easily hidden..
But i dont believe for 1 second he was a depressed man... not for one minute.. and im obviously NOT the only one...
but hes not here anymore to put the record straight so as his wife put it "its a mystery!"
You not listening Tony, It was quite possible that because his family and kids were his life that he decided to take his life. A depressed person can take the most twisted thoughts and make them logical. A person in his situation might well decide that he/she is having a detremental effect on his/her family, and that they would be better off without them. In a strange way, it is only because his love for them was so great, that he took what he thought was the best path forward for everybody. I'm not going to comment any more on this thread because it's like banging my head off a brick wall at times.
Ecky Thump
30-11-2011, 11:14
Im going by what i read in the paper and what people are saying in "statements!" I have an understanding of depression, Ive suffered from it, My aunty suffered from it (and i seen what effects it has on 3 boys), Im not stupid nor am i naive about the fact depression is easily hidden..
But i dont believe for 1 second he was a depressed man... not for one minute.. and im obviously NOT the only one...
but hes not here anymore to put the record straight so as his wife put it "its a mystery!"
Do you believe what the press choose to say or his wife who says its a mystery to her, the one person who we should believe is her and not what the gutter press print.
lozzie1821
30-11-2011, 11:47
Im going by what i read in the paper and what people are saying in "statements!" I have an understanding of depression, Ive suffered from it, My aunty suffered from it (and i seen what effects it has on 3 boys), Im not stupid nor am i naive about the fact depression is easily hidden..
But i dont believe for 1 second he was a depressed man... not for one minute.. and im obviously NOT the only one...
but hes not here anymore to put the record straight so as his wife put it "its a mystery!"
Do you believe what the press choose to say or his wife who says its a mystery to her, the one person who we should believe is her and not what the gutter press print.
thats what i said..
in a previous post i said it common not to believe what the papers tell you but when you get a statement from the wife saying its a mystery to her along with the fact she and many others believe he WAS NOT depressed.
Its quite easy when someone commits suicide to take the excuse he/she is depressed.. but how do any of us on this forum know 100%?? WE DONT..
agent, wife, tv personell, fans who have seen him in his last days all say the same thing so why are most people saying he is?
Ecky Thump
30-11-2011, 12:11
[QUOTE=Ecky Thump;120208]
thats what i said..
in a previous post i said it common not to believe what the papers tell you but when you get a statement from the wife saying its a mystery to her along with the fact she and many others believe he WAS NOT depressed. Its quite easy when someone commits suicide to take the excuse he/she is depressed.. but how do any of us on this forum know 100%?? WE DONT.. agent, wife, tv personell, fans who have seen him in his last days all say the same thing so why are most people saying he is?
Lozzie, this is exactly what people on this forum have been trying to tell you...."We don't know", but you have adamantly stated that he was not depressed, again you are believing what has and is being printed by the press. Would it not be better to wait until there is a inquest before we speculate on what we believe to be factual.
[QUOTE=lozzie1821;120212]
Lozzie, this is exactly what people on this forum have been trying to tell you...."We don't know", but you have adamantly stated that he was not depressed, again you are believing what has and is being printed by the press. Would it not be better to wait until there is a inquest before we speculate on what we believe to be factual.if his wife,his agent,his friend,his colleague,the fan all say at the inquiry he was not deppressed,i wonder what the inquiry will say,maybe he was not deppressed???/
Goforgold
30-11-2011, 12:22
You not listening Tony, It was quite possible that because his family and kids were his life that he decided to take his life. A depressed person can take the most twisted thoughts and make them logical. A person in his situation might well decide that he/she is having a detremental effect on his/her family, and that they would be better off without them. In a strange way, it is only because his love for them was so great, that he took what he thought was the best path forward for everybody. I'm not going to comment any more on this thread because it's like banging my head off a brick wall at times.
I feel the same way Dokgolf, a waste of time.
I feel the same way Dokgolf, a waste of time.awwww,lets all be depressed ffs
Ecky Thump
30-11-2011, 12:30
I feel the same way Dokgolf, a waste of time.
I think we should all speculating, so I am out of here.
Added after 2 minutes:
I think we should all speculating, so I am out of here.
Oops "Stop speculating":o
Goforgold
30-11-2011, 12:39
I think we should all speculating, so I am out of here.
Added after 2 minutes:
Oops "Stop speculating":o
I wasn't speculating, just trying to explain suicide. Dokgolf has explained exactly how it is. There is only one reason that someone takes their life and that is something has happened in their brain, call it depression put another name to it, it doesn't matter. This act is not done when in sound mind.
Ecky Thump
30-11-2011, 12:54
I wasn't speculating, just trying to explain suicide. Dokgolf has explained exactly how it is. There is only one reason that someone takes their life and that is something has happened in their brain, call it depression put another name to it, it doesn't matter. This act is not done when in sound mind.
Sorry, I did not mean you or Docgolf just people in general who are speculating on this one case of suicide and the reasons that they believe that Gary Speed was/or not depressed, I for one think that to commit suicide a person is depressed and that in its self is a serious illness and is not fully understood by the majority us.
Goforgold
30-11-2011, 13:14
Sorry, I did not mean you or Docgolf just people in general who are speculating on this one case of suicide and the reasons that they believe that Gary Speed was/or not depressed, I for one think that to commit suicide a person is depressed and that in its self is a serious illness and is not fully understood by the majority us.
You're so right Ecky - even top physicians don't completely understand why the brain acts like this. I have read numerous 'medical theories' written on the subject, but there is nothing conclusive as each case seems to be so individual. Stress seems to be the one major factor that keeps coming up, which seems to then alter the chemicals in the brain. Research has always been underfunded and with the cut backs, I fear it will be many years before they are any the wiser as to why someone is driven to do this. Often it can happen, when 5 minutes before the person was very happy, laughing and joking.
Ecky Thump
30-11-2011, 13:29
You're so right Ecky - even top physicians don't completely understand why the brain acts like this. I have read numerous 'medical theories' written on the subject, but there is nothing conclusive as each case seems to be so individual. Stress seems to be the one major factor that keeps coming up, which seems to then alter the chemicals in the brain. Research has always been underfunded and with the cut backs, I fear it will be many years before they are any the wiser as to why someone is driven to do this. Often it can happen, when 5 minutes before the person was very happy, laughing and joking.
I have only been close to two people who committed suicide, one was a successful and popular publican in Ayrshire and didn't appear to have a care in the world, he was having a drink and a joke with a few of us customers one evening and the next morning he was found to have hanged himself, no letters, no discussions about problems with family or friends, nothing outward to show that he was depressed.
The other one was again a successful businessman (lawyer) who just went out in his car after a day with his family and jumped from the Erskine Bridge, there were letters left behind by him about personal family finance and even where his car would be parked, but no reason giving for his need to commit suicide.
you do not have to be deppressed to commit suicide
Ecky Thump
30-11-2011, 13:58
you do not have to be deppressed to commit suicide
Without being glib, who gave you that information.???
Ecky Thump
30-11-2011, 14:18
information??its a fact.
Is it a secret fact, or one where you can tell us where the information was gleamed, because personally I think its not based on fact.???
Is it a secret fact, or one where you can tell us where the information was gleamed, because personally I think its not based on fact.???kamikaze pilots?committed suicide.thats a fact.bernard madorff commited suicide to avoid the law,thats a fact.
karinagal
30-11-2011, 14:28
kamikaze pilots?committed suicide.thats a fact.bernard madorff commited suicide to avoid the law,thats a fact.
So do suicide bombers - but that's religious zealots, they do this as they believe their sacrifice to be noble. Not quite the same as depression....
So do suicide bombers - but that's religious zealots, they do this as they believe their sacrifice to be noble. Not quite the same as depression....thats my point kind of,im saying you dont have to be depressed.all round mr speed are saying he wasnt deppressed but 3 experts on tenerife forum are saying he was:crazy:
Ecky Thump
30-11-2011, 14:40
kamikaze pilots?committed suicide.thats a fact.bernard madorff committed suicide to avoid the law,thats a fact.
Bernard Madoff had been treated for many nervous disorders and thought to be self inflicted injuries while he was in prison. I would think that would be classed as depression.
As for referring to so called suicide pilots, would there deaths not be attributed to brainwashing and being extremists.
Added after 31 minutes:
thats my point kind of,im saying you dont have to be depressed.all round mr speed are saying he wasnt deppressed but 3 experts on tenerife forum are saying he was:crazy:
Do I detect a little bit of sarcasm there.:laugh:
Did you know that over 250,000 farmers have commited suicide in India in the last 16 years?
TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND!!
That is a staggering number. That works out at 300 per week, every week, for 16 years. Doesn't bear thinking about....
Sundowner
30-11-2011, 16:42
kamikaze pilots?committed suicide.thats a fact.bernard madorff commited suicide to avoid the law,thats a fact.
I have put a link to an interview Bernard Madoff did on October 27th 2011.........he is looking well for a dead man:wink2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSkRfPh6xMw
Ecky Thump
30-11-2011, 19:06
I have put a link to an interview Bernard Madoff did on October 27th 2011.........he is looking well for a dead man:wink2:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSkRfPh6xMw
Your right, it was his son Mark who hung himself after stealing $22 million from his father and his brother Andrew stole $4.3 million. No wonder Bernard was a bit depressed!
Goforgold
30-11-2011, 20:00
I think we all should take note of the paragraph just above the photograph showing the tributes.
http://blog.footballrascal.com/gary-speed-a-footballing-legend
"It’s times like this where people should stop and think about their actions, about what they say and do in all aspects of life. It is time for those people who hide behind things like twitter, abusing people on there, to have a good look at themselves. The homophobes, the racists, the people who will just abuse someone for no reason, take a good look in the mirror and realise your actions can have wider consequences. Abuse and discrimination in football, and in general life, needs to stop."
r.i.p gary speed.
just to say my friends brother commited suicide and her whole family were at a loss as to why. they kept saying that he was so happy etc, it came to light he was on anti depressents and had depression, yet not one family member or friend were aware of this. so regardless of gary speeds family etc saying he was not depressed, sometimes people keep it very well hidden.
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