View Full Version : Puns R Us Dot Com
Moving this thread from "Mini Clip Pool" to make more sense and to hopefully attract other super intelligent beings to join in. C'mon Punsters :D
We are currently on cars, so lets kick start this with :
I’m Aston-ished that the little Imps are Reliant on Astra-nomical handouts
Santiago
12-04-2012, 15:13
Moving this thread from "Mini Clip Pool" to make more sense and to hopefully attract other super intelligent beings to join in. C'mon Punsters :D
We are currently on cars, so lets kick start this with :
I’m Aston-ished that the little Imps are Reliant on Astra-nomical handouts
Take them to the Range Rover on whatever Daewoo like and I'll Escort them to the Shogun
Malteser Monkey
12-04-2012, 15:36
Of Corsa you have me completely Focus__sed.
Now let me take a Seat and we can Discover_y what we have Triumph_ed over today:sorry:
Leam_Lin
12-04-2012, 15:46
Morris has a Minor part in Coronation Street, he often has a sarnie at Roy's Rolls.
Santiago
12-04-2012, 22:44
Did you see the Panda, Uno the one called Clio who was sitting by the Laguna.
Did you see the Panda, Uno the one called Clio who was sitting by the Laguna.
Alpine for a Sunbeam you little Minx
Leam_Lin
13-04-2012, 09:19
Romeo's take their girlfriends to Ventura Park in Tamworth & then watch the ducks from Vauxhall Bridge.
Romeo's take their girlfriends to Ventura Park in Tamworth & then watch the ducks from Vauxhall Bridge.
I enjoy sitting in the Lotus position eating Opal fruits
starling
13-04-2012, 17:02
I enjoy sitting in the Lotus position eating Opal fruits
'Corsa can afFord a round of Golf
'Corsa can afFord a round of Golf
Or make a Passat Polo
Santiago
13-04-2012, 23:02
Or make a Passat Polo
Giulietta saw a Spider and got in Estate and had to Sprint away to save her Persona.
Giulietta saw a Spider and got in Estate and had to Sprint away to save her Persona.
Think I'll have Punto on a Colt tomorrow
Santiago
14-04-2012, 21:48
Think I'll have Punto on a Colt tomorrow
I've been to Marbella and Ibiza but not to Malaga or Cordoba.
I've been to Marbella and Ibiza but not to Malaga or Cordoba.
Cor-Tina looks good, no wonder she's Popular
I entered 10 puns into a pun writing contest and hopes to win with one of them.
No pun in ten did
Santiago
17-04-2012, 22:47
I'm not so Agila as I was so of Corsa round of Golf Getz too much for this Trooper!
I'm not so Agila as I was so of Corsa round of Golf Getz too much for this Trooper!
This is becoming a Classic thread, I hope we haven't bit off Morgan we can chew
Leam_Lin
18-04-2012, 22:55
I took my grandaughter, she's a right little minx to see the Chrysler building in New York & had to Dodge the yellow cabs.
Santiago
18-04-2012, 23:14
I took my grandaughter, she's a right little minx to see the Chrysler building in New York & had to Dodge the yellow cabs.
Now Justy minute, don't try and Impreza me, my Legacy in this city will be Swift and Grand so put on the TVR and watch the Sport
Now Justy minute, don't try and Impreza me, my Legacy in this city will be Swift and Grand so put on the TVR and watch the Sport
There's Vauxhall we can do about it if the Prefect reports us so Viva la difference
starling
19-04-2012, 14:55
There's Vauxhall we can do about it if the Prefect reports us so Viva la difference
I'll have to Consul-t my daughter, she's a Prefect at Oxford university.
I'll have to Consul-t my daughter, she's a Prefect at Oxford university.
That Toyata keep the kid happy for a while
Santiago
19-04-2012, 21:28
That Toyata keep the kid happy for a while
Hey, you remember that Cherokee Wrangler who was caught by the Trooper in the Piazza, well, he had to Escort him back through the Sierras.
starling
20-04-2012, 11:56
Hey, you remember that Cherokee Wrangler who was caught by the Trooper in the Piazza, well, he had to Escort him back through the Sierras.
Victor my Cadi llac's Range-r when we're Golf-ing, Yet-i Defenders my handicap.
Ok Sport we don't want to Luce the plot here so I will Endeavour to use my Carisma to keep things on Track, isn't that Galant of me?
Santiago
20-04-2012, 22:38
Ok Sport we don't want to Luce the plot here so I will Endeavour to use my Carisma to keep things on Track, isn't that Galant of me?
I Spider Neon Viper in my Crossfire!
johnnieguitar
21-04-2012, 12:54
I Spider Neon Viper in my Crossfire!
Just say No to drugs. Otherwise, you'll end up Hyundai!
Just say No to drugs. Otherwise, you'll end up Hyundai!
Just checked with my Mentor and apparently my Forte is Soul singing
Santiago
21-04-2012, 22:33
Just checked with my Mentor and apparently my Forte is Soul singing
Get back to the Range, Rover, and catch that Colt that was with the Outlander, while it's still Sunny!
Get back to the Range, Rover, and catch that Colt that was with the Outlander, while it's still Sunny!
My Cadillacs knowledge of the Golf course
Santiago
22-04-2012, 22:24
My Cadillacs knowledge of the Golf course
Better not Interceptor 'cos she'll Charger fortune when you Challenger - just Dodge her and let her Cargo!
Better not Interceptor 'cos she'll Charger fortune when you Challenger - just Dodge her and let her Cargo!
Mustang a Lincoln my website as I'm getting a Vibe that a Bug in this programme is preventing the Civic tradition of a Dakota Expedition.
Santiago
25-04-2012, 22:52
Mustang a Lincoln my website as I'm getting a Vibe that a Bug in this programme is preventing the Civic tradition of a Dakota Expedition.
Picasso painted the Alhambra, Uno the one that's Justy Legacy for the Forester.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
Santiago
26-04-2012, 22:07
Had a Cappuccino sprinkled with some Cayenne and by Jimny, that was Superb!
Had a Cappuccino sprinkled with some Cayenne and by Jimny, that was Superb!
Oh Kia let's stop Faff ing about and Ax this little Bijou thread and pay the bill with our Visa
Santiago
28-04-2012, 21:38
Oh Kia let's stop Faff ing about and Ax this little Bijou thread and pay the bill with our Visa
I'll go to the Reef instead and relax in the sun - oh, of course, I'm already here!! (Birthday pressie from Tubby Hubby!!!)
I'll go to the Reef instead and relax in the sun - oh, of course, I'm already here!! (Birthday pressie from Tubby Hubby!!!)
Hope it's Sunny ST .........
Hope it's Sunny ST .........
Is she in Capri with a Seat in the bar :trink2::cheers2:
Is she in Capri with a Seat in the bar :trink2::cheers2:
Probably attending a Regatta avoiding all the Beatles and Spiders
Probably attending a Regatta avoiding all the Beatles and Spiders
Of Corsair,hope she's not up the Hillman the Minx!
Of Corsair,hope she's not up the Hillman the Minx!
Bentley does it with that Jag
Bentley does it with that Jag
Ooooh you Imp Citreon the sofa!
Ooooh you Imp Citreon the sofa!
Think I'll have a Chaser and put it on a Coaster
Santiago
30-04-2012, 20:55
Am in the Saloon watching a Spider Getz close to a Viper before being flattened by a Pony!
Nice and hot in the sun with a max of 27C, but a chilly wind in the evenings - still it keeps the beer nice and cold!!
Am in the Saloon watching a Spider Getz close to a Viper before being flattened by a Pony!
Nice and hot in the sun with a max of 27C, but a chilly wind in the evenings - still it keeps the beer nice and cold!!
Cars are exhausted (can't stop punning) Let's try flowers and plants (not trees)
Daisy put on her marigolds and glossed her tulips
Leam_Lin
04-05-2012, 08:52
Lily tootled down the Valley in her Blue high heels to ring the Bells........
Lily tootled down the Valley in her Blue high heels to ring the Bells........
Rose and Fern planted a kiss on Hydrangea (brother of Lonerangea)
Leam_Lin
04-05-2012, 09:34
Buttercup the cow loved being in a field of Cowslips & Dandelions.
Buttercup the cow loved being in a field of Cowslips & Dandelions.
Violet Aster mum for advice on her Bleeding Heart
Santiago
05-05-2012, 21:39
Violet Aster mum for advice on her Bleeding Heart
Her Baby's Breath would Freesia Mother-in-Law's Tongue if Basil was around.
Her Baby's Breath would Freesia Mother-in-Law's Tongue if Basil was around.
Sweet William asked Heather if she want to see his Willow Curly
I'm off for a mini break to Ibiza then on to Capri just need to get my legs waxed first, too many corsairs!
Sorry no good with Flowers!
I'm off for a mini break to Ibiza then on to Capri just need to get my legs waxed first, too many corsairs!
Sorry no good with Flowers!
Ok Petal, but you're Madder than a Mugwort :D
Santiago
06-05-2012, 15:25
Ok Petal, but you're Madder than a Mugwort :D
Okay, so I'm going to forget the Baby's Tears and pull down the Nightshade and listen to some Bluegrass with my Dog Daisy
Okay, so I'm going to forget the Baby's Tears and pull down the Nightshade and listen to some Bluegrass with my Dog Daisy
You're a very Clover girl to keep this Caper going by blowing your own Angel Trumpet
Santiago
06-05-2012, 22:54
You're a very Clover girl to keep this Caper going by blowing your own Angel Trumpet
Billy Buttons attended to the Coltsfoot using his Foxglove, then he took the Milkmaids hand and made Love-in-a-Mist!
Billy Buttons attended to the Coltsfoot using his Foxglove, then he took the Milkmaids hand and made Love-in-a-Mist!
The scouser said "Orchid Iris enjoys her Statice as Stock taker"
Leam_Lin
07-05-2012, 13:58
Iris was walking on the Geranium walk when she saw her friend Rose looking at the Carnations.
Iris was walking on the Geranium walk when she saw her friend Rose looking at the Carnations.
That Hosta be the biggset load of Hollyhocks ever :)
Santiago
07-05-2012, 15:48
That Hosta be the biggset load of Hollyhocks ever :)
One Bittersweet morning the Lady's Purse was stolen. "Oh, Wattle I do?" she cried to Erica her friend. "I Honesty don't know, shall we ask Heather?"
One Bittersweet morning the Lady's Purse was stolen. "Oh, Wattle I do?" she cried to Erica her friend. "I Honesty don't know, shall we ask Heather?"
Mr Dan D Lyon was Doken hearted after breaking up with Tiger Lily
Mr Dan D Lyon was Doken hearted after breaking up with Tiger Lily
I've just phoned Primrose but i think i Dahlia'd the wrong number!
I've just phoned Primrose but i think i Dahlia'd the wrong number!
Good to see one of our Elder members is not resting on their Laurels
Good to see one of our Elder members is not resting on their Laurels
Agave Holly Arum she is now Pisonia and the Rheum is spinning! Oh come on :laugh:
Agave Holly Arum she is now Pisonia and the Rheum is spinning! Oh come on :laugh:
As the scouser said " nice one Orchid :laugh:)
Jennifer Juniper was Privet to Rosemary's secret Yew know
As the scouser said " nice one Orchid :laugh:)
Jennifer Juniper was Privet to Rosemary's secret Yew know
Canna stay in the Hotel Bouganvillea with all the Wallflowers!
Canna stay in the Hotel Bouganvillea with all the Wallflowers!
Especially with that Witch Hazel at reception
Especially with that Witch Hazel at reception
She smokes 60 a day and has Nicotiana on her Marigolds and gets Impatiens with all the punters!
She smokes 60 a day and has Nicotiana on her Marigolds and gets Impatiens with all the punters!
They should Spruce up the place a bit and Potentilla that would make it Bizzy Lizzy
They should Spruce up the place a bit and Potentilla that would make it Bizzy Lizzy
Her name is Mis-Canthus when i came in late she said "Ver-bena" you're taken the Pistia! I said "what Thyme is it Rose" Canna have the key to my Rheum!
Her name is Mis-Canthus when i came in late she said "Ver-bena" you're taken the Pistia! I said "what Thyme is it Rose" Canna have the key to my Rheum!
Some people are Ficus two short planks
Santiago
08-05-2012, 16:27
Some people are Ficus two short planks
Eytelia, the Alder you get the more Brown-eyed Susan seems to have Devil's Hair!
Eytelia, the Alder you get the more Brown-eyed Susan seems to have Devil's Hair!
Mesquite sure that your Petty-Morels will give you a Nosebleed
Santiago
09-05-2012, 23:01
Mesquite sure that your Petty-Morels will give you a Nosebleed
Well, of Gorse, Marjoram, despite her Thrift, managed to have a Wild Thyme on the Lady's Bedstraw which would remain her Tormentil the end of the year.
Well, of Gorse, Marjoram, despite her Thrift, managed to have a Wild Thyme on the Lady's Bedstraw which would remain her Tormentil the end of the year.
I Ada spare Lotus so Agave it to Daphne to Tacca look at it
Santiago
10-05-2012, 22:35
I Ada spare Lotus so Agave it to Daphne to Tacca look at it
Rhubarb!!! ..........................
Rhubarb!!! ..........................
Bolax !! .................:laugh:
Leam_Lin
11-05-2012, 09:12
Flax...................Morning all....
Flax...................Morning all....
No need to be so Prim-Rose .................. Morning Linda :wave:
Leam_Lin
11-05-2012, 10:10
My daughter had a Rose-Bud doll called Holly.
My daughter had a Rose-Bud doll called Holly.
Couldn't give a Fockea if you re-Fuchsia to be a Mazus
Santiago
11-05-2012, 22:24
Couldn't give a Fockea if you re-Fuchsia to be a Mazus
Don't know what Daisy's free but with his Old Man's Beard maybe he needs Sweet Alison or Blue-eyed Mary to make him Comfrey
Don't know what Daisy's free but with his Old Man's Beard maybe he needs Sweet Alison or Blue-eyed Mary to make him Comfrey
Don't know where this Stemmed so I'm leaf right now ...... :wave:
Santiago
13-05-2012, 22:18
Don't know where this Stemmed so I'm leaf right now ...... :wave:
What a Blooming nuisance, I think I'll go and Stalk Blossom or her partner, Bud.
What a Blooming nuisance, I think I'll go and Stalk Blossom or her partner, Bud.
Cissus daft, you'll have to do Beta, your Impatiens could Cotus
Santiago
15-05-2012, 22:50
Cissus daft, you'll have to do Beta, your Impatiens could Cotus
Chrysanthemum met Daphne and Heather over Bryony's Bleeding Heart and found that Heath was in the Dock!
Chrysanthemum met Daphne and Heather over Bryony's Bleeding Heart and found that Heath was in the Dock!
My hayfever is acting up with all this pollen. Let's try some refreshing ISLANDS.
Looking at it from a different Anglesey seems about Wight said the Man
Santiago
16-05-2012, 13:53
My hayfever is acting up with all this pollen. Let's try some refreshing ISLANDS.
Looking at it from a different Anglesey seems about Wight said the Man
Harris, Ewe Rum chap, get rid of this Muck before Iona gets home!
Harris, Ewe Rum chap, get rid of this Muck before Iona gets home!
It's all pie in the Skye so I bought a Jersey and it was a Bute
Santiago
22-05-2012, 14:48
It's all pie in the Skye so I bought a Jersey and it was a Bute
Annet fun Headin to the Horsey for a Lower Horse to ride than usual.
Annet fun Headin to the Horsey for a Lower Horse to ride than usual.
I will have to Mull over the Bigga picture while I'm eating my Eigg and listening to some Arran B
Santiago
23-05-2012, 13:44
I will have to Mull over the Bigga picture while I'm eating my Eigg and listening to some Arran B
Oh, Scilly me! Old Harry was Puffin Holme and shouting for Mersea.
Oh, Scilly me! Old Harry was Puffin Holme and shouting for Mersea.
As Fara z I know you can Call aHoy or Yell to your Papa to bring the Cava
Santiago
25-05-2012, 08:26
As Fara z I know you can Call aHoy or Yell to your Papa to bring the Cava
The Flat Lady saw a Swan by the Willow when she was walking with Little Arthur.
The Flat Lady saw a Swan by the Willow when she was walking with Little Arthur.
I would Coll that a big pile of Muck next to the Wyre fence
Santiago
25-05-2012, 22:55
I would Coll that a big pile of Muck next to the Wyre fence
What a Foulness that Seal has left because it could Rockall night and Yell when it got all Sanday.
What a Foulness that Seal has left because it could Rockall night and Yell when it got all Sanday.
What do you Jamaica this ? I ate a Cuba Hen and Chicken that I bought in Iceland and now I have a sore Gut
Santiago
27-05-2012, 22:48
What do you Jamaica this ? I ate a Cuba Hen and Chicken that I bought in Iceland and now I have a sore Gut
Great Coco, Denis, where did I put that Bali Rum Cay? I expect Sal had it when she went for a Weddel.
Manx Tartan
28-05-2012, 10:13
Arran a Mann of the Rhode with my Capri.
Arran a Mann of the Rhode with my Capri.
One Easter I saw a Kangaroo in my Garden eating a Fox and drinking Rum
Santiago
29-05-2012, 21:49
One Easter I saw a Kangaroo in my Garden eating a Fox and drinking Rum
One Christmas the Cook put a New Guinea into a Bali great Madeira cake and then treated us all to a Margarita mixed by Santiago!!
One Christmas the Cook put a New Guinea into a Bali great Madeira cake and then treated us all to a Margarita mixed by Santiago!!
Mama Juist Kilda Man
Santiago
31-05-2012, 22:34
Mama Juist Kilda Man
'Twas Whitsunday when I had a nice cup of Java that I found my trousers were Luzon my waist. "Hainan", I called, "I'm going to a Reunion and my Pantar loose". "I'm afraid they'll go Padang at the do and I'll be followed by a Hecla who will think I'm a Prat". She said, "Give me a Tanna and I'll mend them so you can Rockall night!"
'Twas Whitsunday when I had a nice cup of Java that I found my trousers were Luzon my waist. "Hainan", I called, "I'm going to a Reunion and my Pantar loose". "I'm afraid they'll go Padang at the do and I'll be followed by a Hecla who will think I'm a Prat". She said, "Give me a Tanna and I'll mend them so you can Rockall night!"
I've Goat to Esk if Rod was Lion about his Barber being a Crab
Santiago
02-06-2012, 22:31
I've Goat to Esk if Rod was Lion about his Barber being a Crab
When Samson met Annet he said he'd Bryher a Fair Isle sweater from Tresco
One day St Mary Andaman went to the Crooked Butcher to Quibble about the Price of Crocodile and Elephant steaks.
Santiago
05-06-2012, 15:49
One day St Mary Andaman went to the Crooked Butcher to Quibble about the Price of Crocodile and Elephant steaks.
We were all Hopen for Samoa, but of Corsica Elizabeth had a Disappointment Kos Philip was on his way to Hospital. (Topical, eh?)
We were all Hopen for Samoa, but of Corsica Elizabeth had a Disappointment Kos Philip was on his way to Hospital. (Topical, eh?) Very !!
On Friday a Masked man made a Monumental Dent in his mini Cooper that his Five Sisters were travelling in. They all shouted Yule be sorry for this Folly.
Santiago
07-06-2012, 21:46
On Friday a Masked man made a Monumental Dent in his mini Cooper that his Five Sisters were travelling in. They all shouted Yule be sorry for this Folly.
Blanche had a big Disappointment when her Fabulous Masked Archer proved to be a big Deception.
Blanche had a big Disappointment when her Fabulous Masked Archer proved to be a big Deception.
Think I'll Swallow some Coffee to wash down my Stake and Thousand Islands dressing
Santiago
12-06-2012, 21:33
Think I'll Swallow some Coffee to wash down my Stake and Thousand Islands dressing
Little Arthur was Hayling Old Harry while Puffin Round Samson who was run Ragged
Little Arthur was Hayling Old Harry while Puffin Round Samson who was run Ragged
Amajer said he would Coll Rab and say Hoy have you Gotland with good Rhodes
Santiago
13-06-2012, 20:55
Amajer said he would Coll Rab and say Hoy have you Gotland with good Rhodes
"Mersea", she cried."Papa Stour has lost his Cardigan which he kept in his Trunk!" "Nomour will I Potton my favourite Arran Jersey!" he sobbed.
"Mersea", she cried."Papa Stour has lost his Cardigan which he kept in his Trunk!" "Nomour will I Potton my favourite Arran Jersey!" he sobbed.
Rodd asked if his Barber could trim his Long, Bushy Baird, but he didn't Anser
Santiago
15-06-2012, 22:14
Hawaii Jamaica Virgin Plana Conception?
Hawaii Jamaica Virgin Plana Conception?
Danna was jealous of her Brother as he had a Bigga Barra than her
Santiago
20-06-2012, 09:50
Danna was jealous of her Brother as he had a Bigga Barra than her
Wight! That's it! I Gairsay you think that Ailsa Craig is Bigga than Eilean Shona but a Foula story Isay has not been heard!
Wight! That's it! I Gairsay you think that Ailsa Craig is Bigga than Eilean Shona but a Foula story Isay has not been heard!
This has gone to the dogs, I'm off to Iceland (Morrisons actually)
Santiago
20-06-2012, 20:37
This has gone to the dogs, I'm off to Iceland (Morrisons actually)
Don't Linga!
Don't Linga!
Gonna put on my Wolin Jersey coz it's Frisian out there
Santiago
22-06-2012, 21:58
Gonna put on my Wolin Jersey coz it's Frisian out there
Look, Darling, there's a Goat being chased by a Lion on Rocky Point.
Look, Darling, there's a Goat being chased by a Lion on Rocky Point.
Give me Bell and I'll take you to Betsy's where you can buy a Wright Pleasant Goose for a Buck
Santiago
01-07-2012, 22:48
Give me Bell and I'll take you to Betsy's where you can buy a Wright Pleasant Goose for a Buck
Man, that Lewis is Bigga than Papa
Man, that Lewis is Bigga than Papa
Chris Hoy, Uist what I Coll Amajer Champ
Santiago
11-07-2012, 22:30
Chris Hoy, Uist what I Coll Amajer Champ
Okay Denny, let's Rockall night. After all Old Harry Rocks even tho' he gets pins and Needles
Okay Denny, let's Rockall night. After all Old Harry Rocks even tho' he gets pins and Needles
I enjoy Funen games
Santiago
12-07-2012, 14:40
I enjoy Funen games
What would Ronaldsay?
What would Ronaldsay?
I you don't Payer, Shell give you the Elba
Santiago
13-07-2012, 21:25
I you don't Payer, Shell give you the Elba
What a Disappointment when Fabulous Georgia moved South
What a Disappointment when Fabulous Georgia moved South
Rab is the Mors Cod Champ
Santiago
24-07-2012, 21:39
Rab is the Mors Cod Champ
Agnes and Duncan saw a Spectacle near the Tiwi Islands!
Agnes and Duncan saw a Spectacle near the Tiwi Islands!
"Canvey come Round and Barrow a Mullion ?" asked Samson I'm Stony broke
Santiago
25-07-2012, 22:26
"Canvey come Round and Barrow a Mullion ?" asked Samson I'm Stony broke
Oh Man! The Skye's the Bali limit!!
Oh Man! The Skye's the Bali limit!!
I'm going to Piel a Plum and take it Round to Ramsey, he Otter enjoy it
Santiago
27-07-2012, 22:22
I'm going to Piel a Plum and take it Round to Ramsey, he Otter enjoy it
Well, my Secretary is Inaccessible while she's Hidden in her Black Tent by the Silver Tree
Well, my Secretary is Inaccessible while she's Hidden in her Black Tent by the Silver Tree
Herbert gave Prudence Appat on the back for her Madeira cake
Santiago
03-08-2012, 22:00
Herbert gave Prudence Appat on the back for her Madeira cake
Andaman came into the Garden for a Phi Phi and saw a Kangaroo Koolan itself!
Andaman came into the Garden for a Phi Phi and saw a Kangaroo Koolan itself!
Alexander Banks on Luzon a New Guinea, what Jamaica that ?
Santiago
04-08-2012, 15:48
Alexander Banks on Luzon a New Guinea, what Jamaica that ?
Antilles Outer there, I'd Block Graham - the Big Booby!
Antilles Outer there, I'd Block Graham - the Big Booby!
Old Harry Rocks down at the Chapel but Denny Crows about his Foulness
Santiago
05-08-2012, 16:31
Old Harry Rocks down at the Chapel but Denny Crows about his Foulness
Don't be Scilly, Samson's run Ragged with that Great Cob Horsea!
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