View Full Version : Relocation In just one sentence add your advice to those moving over to Tenerife
As the title says, in just one sentence, add some advice for those thinking/planning on moving to Tenerife and also to those already living here. IŽll go first:
Don't buy a bar!
Not this old chestnut!:laugh:
golf birdie
19-04-2012, 11:03
bring an extra suitcase/wheelbarrow to carry home all your money you will make here.
Mick the scouser who you met in the bar on your second night isn't the font of all knowledge
Vortex Wake
19-04-2012, 11:23
The grass is NOT always greener on the other side !!!!!!
DonŽt believe everything you are told, especially where spending money is concerned.
Tom & Sharon
19-04-2012, 11:43
You probably won't feel better being "skint in the sun" than in the UK!
Vortex Wake
19-04-2012, 12:02
As a registered self employed person working in Tenerife, you should expect to pay at least 250 per month in contributions - irrespective of your monthly turnover (or lack of turnover ;) ).
Malteser Monkey
19-04-2012, 12:12
Make a list of all the uses for your newly acquired bidet:D
(sorry):sorry:
Angusjim
19-04-2012, 12:31
Speak to Tonypub worked for him :tiphat:
Remember you are NOT on holiday.
DOREEN QUINN
19-04-2012, 13:04
Mick the scouser who you met in the bar on your second night isn't the font of all knowledge
oi!!! my husband is called Mick and hes a scouser!!!! lol
YOUNG GOLFER
19-04-2012, 13:21
Don't spend all your time in a bar in Tenerife get out and see the place the real Tenerife.
Malteser Monkey
19-04-2012, 13:28
Don't spend all your time in a bar in Tenerife get out and see the place the real Tenerife.
That is a very good response - yup I agree - and other islands -
Angusjim
19-04-2012, 13:40
Don't spend all your time in a bar in Tenerife get out and see the place the real Tenerife.
No thanks quite happy:cheers:
Sundowner
19-04-2012, 14:47
Don't stock up on suntan lotion if you are going to work in a bar!!
slodgedad
19-04-2012, 14:53
Do not, as many others have done, take short cuts when buying anything of value ie., property, cars or other expensive items.
the milk is near the marge
starling
19-04-2012, 15:21
Nothing is ever as it seems!
Malteser Monkey
19-04-2012, 15:22
P'off...............
:crylaughing::crylaughing:
Tom & Sharon
19-04-2012, 15:34
Don't be-friend CIM,he never pays his half of the restaurant tab,thats why he is SOOOOooooooo Rich!!!! :wink:
Vortex Wake
19-04-2012, 15:47
Get used to the smell.......................
Malteser Monkey
19-04-2012, 16:01
Get used to the smell.......................
CIM smells does he ?:D
try to learn the lingo first lol
Angusjim
19-04-2012, 16:50
Don't be-friend CIM,he never pays his half of the restaurant tab,thats why he is SOOOOooooooo Rich!!!! :wink:
And never drink with his mate he has VERY deep pockets with wee short arms
Do tons of research before you come, especially on topics that might affect you. READ a book or two (easily available on Amazon).
Go to Tenerife for a holiday first and make sure it's for you. Hire a car and get around to see the environment, or use the buses. Use social networking sites to get a flavourt of the way people are, possibly make friends before you come.
When in Tenerife talk to lots of people and canvass ideas, opinions. Ask the sort of questions where the answers will be useful to you. Go to apartment complex's and see if you can get any idea if you wish to live there. Try to locate 'the president' of the community and ask what it's like on the site.
Write yourself out a plan of what you want, what you wish to achieve, where and how you'll seek work etc.
Where will you live....rented? Buy? Make sure you have a good idea of rentals and the deposits you may require. If you want to buy a place get the finance in place.
Try to work out where you'd want to live: close to work? In the resort areas (would you grow to hate tourists?)? In a small town close to the resort areas? In the hills?
Bring buckets and buckets of enthusiasm.
Register yourself as a resident - this does involve paperwork...a gestor will help.
Language? To a degree you'll get buy with English, but you will need to speak some Spanish.
As someone said, the grass is always greener.... it's not; it's just the sun shines on Tenerife. The problems are the same.
Bring sufficient money to finance your stay for at least 6 months and come with either an open return ticket, or tuck away untouched cash for a return ticket; just in case.
Be very wary of what you are told. Verify everything. Go to a professional for proper advice....accountant, gestor, lawyer...and get facts, not opinions.
Do tons of research before you come, especially on topics that might affect you. READ a book or two (easily available on Amazon).
Go to Tenerife for a holiday first and make sure it's for you. Hire a car and get around to see the environment, or use the buses. Use social networking sites to get a flavourt of the way people are, possibly make friends before you come.
When in Tenerife talk to lots of people and canvass ideas, opinions. Ask the sort of questions where the answers will be useful to you. Go to apartment complex's and see if you can get any idea if you wish to live there. Try to locate 'the president' of the community and ask what it's like on the site.
Write yourself out a plan of what you want, what you wish to achieve, where and how you'll seek work etc.
Where will you live....rented? Buy? Make sure you have a good idea of rentals and the deposits you may require. If you want to buy a place get the finance in place.
Try to work out where you'd want to live: close to work? In the resort areas (would you grow to hate tourists?)? In a small town close to the resort areas? In the hills?
Bring buckets and buckets of enthusiasm.
Register yourself as a resident - this does involve paperwork...a gestor will help.
Language? To a degree you'll get buy with English, but you will need to speak some Spanish.
As someone said, the grass is always greener.... it's not; it's just the sun shines on Tenerife. The problems are the same.
Bring sufficient money to finance your stay for at least 6 months and come with either an open return ticket, or tuck away untouched cash for a return ticket; just in case.
Be very wary of what you are told. Verify everything. Go to a professional for proper advice....accountant, gestor, lawyer...and get facts, not opinions.bloody hell balcony that sentence was so long i have forgoten the one i was going to write:cheeky::wink2:
TenerifePool
19-04-2012, 17:30
Keep your money in your pocket for at least a year! Don't buy a business or a house, live frugally do some crappy jobs (if you can find them) to survive and keep the dream alive. Talk to people or maybe more importantly listen. Get to know the island, it's people and how the system works. Learn the lingo and then, after your first year you will be wiser, you will know for sure, based on experience whether you want to make this island your home and most importantly you will still have your cash in your pocket.
Vortex Wake
19-04-2012, 17:37
Being a successful office professional , or being a chartered engineer (etc, etc , etc) , are skills not required for bar glass washers
Don't be fooled..........The girls on the posters for the laptop clubs are NOT the one's inside.:crying2:
The pedestrian (zebra) crossings don't quite work the same!! Lol.
YOUNG GOLFER
19-04-2012, 19:27
Join this forum and stick to the rules and learn what "one sentence" means!:tiphat:
tracy hampshire
19-04-2012, 19:37
start as you mean to go on, live like a local :)
delderek
19-04-2012, 19:47
If you are thinking of buying a property...Don't,,,, give it 6 or 7 months.
seanocelt
19-04-2012, 19:50
Pretend to be nice, make new friends, then sh%t all over them. Seems to have worked for a few long termers here.
YOUNG GOLFER
19-04-2012, 20:11
Don't listen to people on forums and in 1€ a pint bars who think they know better than the professionals on here!
Vortex Wake
19-04-2012, 20:17
Don't listen to people on forums and in 1 a pint bars who think they know better than the professionals on here!
http://brothersinarmsfiction.com/doyle_and_Bodie.jpg
Get rid of the curly hair YG!
bonitatime
19-04-2012, 20:21
If you have children over 8 think long and hard before dumping them in a Spanish school
Santiago
19-04-2012, 20:30
Don't sever all ties with the UK, or your home country, before you come over, you may find you need to return!
YOUNG GOLFER
19-04-2012, 20:32
Don't drive on the wrong side of the road.
cainaries
19-04-2012, 20:48
I know Balcony exceeded his allocated sentence but it is sensible advice. I couldn't work out if this was a serious thread or a joke thread.
My advice is don't bother to bring anything with you. You'll either have to pay to store it or lug it back again. Whatever you need here, you'll find it and this must be true for Tenerife, surely? Er?
Jelly Baby
19-04-2012, 21:03
If you adopt a pet while you are here keep some money aside so if you decide to return to the UK you can TAKE YOUR PET WITH YOU!
dont forget to take off your rose tinted glasses when you land
cainaries
19-04-2012, 21:57
dont forget to take off your rose tinted glasses when you land
Probably even better to take them off before you leave!
Take with you at least 5 copies of every single piece of paperwork you own, along with originals at all times!
cainaries
19-04-2012, 22:09
Take with you at least 5 copies of every single piece of paperwork you own, along with originals at all times!
And never ever give anyone the original!
slodgedad
20-04-2012, 01:44
Don't drive on the wrong side of the road.
Sorry, Stu, but thats bad advice. We all drive on the wrong side of the road here...:whistle:
Ignore all the posts/posters that cannot/do not follow the very simple rule - one Sentence
slodgedad
20-04-2012, 03:15
Ignore all the posts/posters that cannot/do not follow the very simple rule - one Sentence Sorry, just tried to make my post readable...:wink2:
Once you have bought that dream home that just needs a few jobs doing, watch out for the 'Bodge it and Scarper' brigade!
princessmonika
20-04-2012, 06:15
mind the roundabouts everyone for him or herself
Sorry for that. I typed it and then saw the actual title, but hit the post button. For some reason I am totally unable to edit posts.
A lot of time I am unable to post anything.
bloody hell balcony that sentence was so long i have forgoten the one i was going to write:cheeky::wink2:
Malteser Monkey
20-04-2012, 11:10
A lot of time I am unable to post anything.
Phew ! there is only so much time I can allocate to reading posts:whistle::cheeky::D:D
Throw away your courteous and UK driving skills out of the window and join the Spanish Grandprix.
chifleta
20-04-2012, 15:08
Do tons of research before you come, especially on topics that might affect you. READ a book or two (easily available on Amazon).
Go to Tenerife for a holiday first and make sure it's for you. Hire a car and get around to see the environment, or use the buses. Use social networking sites to get a flavourt of the way people are, possibly make friends before you come.
When in Tenerife talk to lots of people and canvass ideas, opinions. Ask the sort of questions where the answers will be useful to you. Go to apartment complex's and see if you can get any idea if you wish to live there. Try to locate 'the president' of the community and ask what it's like on the site.
Write yourself out a plan of what you want, what you wish to achieve, where and how you'll seek work etc.
Where will you live....rented? Buy? Make sure you have a good idea of rentals and the deposits you may require. If you want to buy a place get the finance in place.
Try to work out where you'd want to live: close to work? In the resort areas (would you grow to hate tourists?)? In a small town close to the resort areas? In the hills?
Bring buckets and buckets of enthusiasm.
Register yourself as a resident - this does involve paperwork...a gestor will help.
Language? To a degree you'll get buy with English, but you will need to speak some Spanish.
As someone said, the grass is always greener.... it's not; it's just the sun shines on Tenerife. The problems are the same.
Bring sufficient money to finance your stay for at least 6 months and come with either an open return ticket, or tuck away untouched cash for a return ticket; just in case.
Be very wary of what you are told. Verify everything. Go to a professional for proper advice....accountant, gestor, lawyer...and get facts, not opinions.
:agree: longest "sentence" i've ever read... but yup, what balcony said LOL
Added after 3 minutes:
The pedestrian (zebra) crossings don't quite work the same!! Lol.
although they're slightly safer than 10 years ago :spin: ... A Venezuelan bloke at the gym the other day asked me "why do the Brits wave and thank you, all happy like, when you stop to let them cross" and I said "well a few years ago it didn't seem to be totally obligatory for cars to stop at the zebra crossing, so they're just happily thanking you for not running them over" :laugh:
Added after 4 minutes:
oh, and my sentence would be "try and think positive, and enjoy this wonderful Island to the max"
Added after 2 minutes:
oops sorry, another sentence/suggestion which everyone will probably ignore LOL:
give up alcohol for a few months, it lets you see how much of an alcoholic you're turning into (especially with the size of the tots here) :goodluck:)
Sorry for that. I typed it and then saw the actual title, but hit the post button. For some reason I am totally unable to edit posts.
A lot of time I am unable to post anything.
Even the apology is 3 sentences ....:laugh:
cainaries
20-04-2012, 15:42
:agree: longest "sentence" i've ever read... but yup, what balcony said LOL
Added after 3 minutes:
although they're slightly safer than 10 years ago :spin: ... A Venezuelan bloke at the gym the other day asked me "why do the Brits wave and thank you, all happy like, when you stop to let them cross" and I said "well a few years ago it didn't seem to be totally obligatory for cars to stop at the zebra crossing, so they're just happily thanking you for not running them over" :laugh:
Added after 4 minutes:
oh, and my sentence would be "try and think positive, and enjoy this wonderful Island to the max"
Added after 2 minutes:
oops sorry, another sentence/suggestion which everyone will probably ignore LOL:
give up alcohol for a few months, it lets you see how much of an alcoholic you're turning into (especially with the size of the tots here) :goodluck:)
Only very recently has the EU issued a Directive requiring drivers in countries outside the UK to stop for zebra crossings. Just occasionally good comes out of Brussels. (I know this is off topic but it's so interesting, isn't it? No?)
gandt2000
20-04-2012, 18:17
Talk to as many people as possible to verify information being given is correct for you!!
Avoid the english, the most uncivilised of the europeans. Sorry, its true. That would include me!
A bar of what? HA HA!
Added after 5 minutes:
Not all English/British are uncivilised, depends where you meet them I suppose. There are many civilised and uncivilised people from all origins.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.4 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.