Dealing with negative people in Tenerife

[YOUNG GOLFER]

Someone said to me a very long time ago never be around negative people.

I see all to often people on my face-book(not close friends)....... people living here in Tenerife members on forums ect who seem to be happy when they are moaning, putting people down, bad mouthing people, making trouble, telling everyone how hard done by they are.

I try very hard not to be around these people now as I get older as they just seem to get me down.

How do you deal with someone who is always negative........

Do you stay away from them?

Do you keep them at arms distance?

Do you accept them for who they are no matter how horrible they can be.

I for one just feel it's best to delete them from my life.

seen this below on a site and i think it's spot on.

It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.

Over to you guys.:)

[tonypub]

i bar them:redcard::c2::lol:

[YOUNG GOLFER]

i bar them:redcard::c2::lol:

Not known you for long mate but you are one of the good guys that's for sure.

[Malteser Monkey]

It's a shame people can be like that - personally I don't understand it - "usually" no matter what's going on in my life I try to paint a smile and be my usual jokey (probably annoying to some !) self.

A Member said on another thread about go on get stuck in and say how you feel... I just can't do it - unless it's a personal attack at moi or mine. (or I've been on the vino):p

nuff said ?

[julia44]

I dont bother with them I totally agree they drag you down.
This morning I went to the tourist board in Guia to ask what they would like me to buy for the firefighters and the man took me to the social centre and they said they needed refreshing drinks they had lots of water, while I was there there was loads of people laughing and joking and the lady said they were the people from Chirche that had been evacuated, none of them were moaning just making the best out of a bad situation

[pablo1]

I best go and check my Facebook to see if I've been deleted Stu !! Ha Ha!

[fesdie]

My mum said something very similar a long time ago and I have always tried to live by it.
Of course there are always people who come into your life who will always see negatively and this can be challenging. I don't try to change these people or their views but at the same time I don't allow their negative perceptions to change me or get me down.
I have had occasions though when I have had to cut somebody out of my life completely as it has been to draining to keep them in it and that is a shame.
I am definitely a glass half full kind of person and struggle to see why others are half empty but i am a quite sure they think the same of me!!:laugh:

[YOUNG GOLFER]

I dont bother with them I totally agree they drag you down.
This morning I went to the tourist board in Guia to ask what they would like me to buy for the firefighters and the man took me to the social centre and they said they needed refreshing drinks they had lots of water, while I was there there was loads of people laughing and joking and the lady said they were the people from Chirche that had been evacuated, none of them were moaning just making the best out of a bad situation


Well done what a great thing to do julia44.

[yourneighbourdi]

After the last few days...people need to put things into perspective. At the moment feel very proud of our Spanish villages....Tooooo small an island for Negative people.

Your Attitude + Your Choices = Your Life :)

[Malteser Monkey]

I best go and check my Facebook to see if I've been deleted Stu !! Ha Ha!

Gordon Bennett - where have you come up from ?:D

[YOUNG GOLFER]

I best go and check my Facebook to see if I've been deleted Stu !! Ha Ha!

Sorry mate you are still on my facebook lol

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Gordon Bennett - where have you come up from ?:D


He is one of the good guys hes watching all the time lol.

[KirstyJay]

i bar them:redcard::c2::lol:I ban them ;) :redcard: :lol:


they said they needed refreshing drinks they had lots of waterWhat type of drinks? Juice and coke? That type of thing? If so, I can pop something in tomorrow as I'm passing. Where are they dropping it off?

[Angusjim]

I have had a terrible day today rains just stopped have lost £34k with two companies going bust :( but never mind I am having fish for tea tonight that will cheer me up :yum:

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I have had a terrible day today rains just stopped have lost £34k with two companies going bust :( but never mind I am having fish for tea tonight that will cheer me up :yum:

[julia44]

I ban them ;) :redcard: :lol:

What type of drinks? Juice and coke? That type of thing? If so, I can pop something in tomorrow as I'm passing. Where are they dropping it off?
If you look at the tourist office the blue building to the left , the note he gave me says al albergue municipal.
Thing like red bull, aquarios, things with sugar

[Suej]

Pull the shutters down and hide!!!:hide:

[KirstyJay]

If you look at the tourist office the blue building to the left , the note he gave me says al albergue municipal.
Thing like red bull, aquarios, things with sugarYes, I know the Albergue. I teach an English course there for the teenagers. :eek: :lol:

[julia44]

:liar::liar::liar:keeping happy keeps you younger because smiling exercises the muscles in your face
I look about 21!

[yourneighbourdi]

Pull the shutters down and hide!!!:hide:

Did that already..easier :)

[Malteser Monkey]

:liar::liar::liar:keeping happy keeps you younger because smiling exercises the muscles in your face
I look about 21!

totally agree in conjunction with lots of moisture cream to prevent wrinkles

hence why I only look 22 and a bit:D

[chifleta]

Someone said to me a very long time ago never be around negative people.

I see all to often people on my face-book(not close friends)....... people living here in Tenerife members on forums ect who seem to be happy when they are moaning, putting people down, bad mouthing people, making trouble, telling everyone how hard done by they are.

I try very hard not to be around these people now as I get older as they just seem to get me down.

How do you deal with someone who is always negative........

Do you stay away from them?

Do you keep them at arms distance?

Do you accept them for who they are no matter how horrible they can be.

I for one just feel it's best to delete them from my life.

seen this below on a site and i think it's spot on.

It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.

Over to you guys.:)


LOL it's defintely an age thing.... once I hit 40 I totally changed my way of thinking, although we all love a good moan/grumble once in a while, I avoid as much as humanely possible anyone who seems to have an ingrained "woe is me, whingy whingy grumble grumble" attitude, or someone who thinks their way is the only correct way and doesn't like to be opposed or won't be flexible in their set ways, if you know what I mean.....

Unfortunately you can't avoid everyone like that, but I tell you one thing, I do my very best :-)

So ok, I have VERY VERY VERY few proper friends and even fewer what I call "occassional" friends, who, like me, keep themselves to themselves the majority of the time (as we have our own busy housewifey lives, or family, or jobs, or we don't drive etc etc), so we only get together for a catch up personally every month or so..... and I'm more than happy with that thankyouverymuchly ....

An Spanish acquaintance said to me a few years ago (roughly translated) "don't let nasty thoughts and anger poison your mind/body as the only one to suffer is you" and one of my VERY good friends said to me, when I was having problems with my ex-employer "can you do anything about it? NO?.... well GET OVER IT" LOL ... she laughs because I quote her now ... but they were both right ... so now, if someone annoys me, miffs me off, tries to embarrass me, is rude, well I smile to myself and sometimes even them, and just let them get on with and I just GET OVER IT ... I tell you something, it's a satisfying feeling when you don't react to certain situations which I would have previously reacted to ... like I said, it's an age thing.... although I must admit, not everyone manages to self-critique and realise their personality flaws, but I spotted mine (temper tantrums genes from my dad, grumpy moany finding something to nag about genes from my mum.... though i've manage to change my mums outlook on things too, which seems to have worked :-D)

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Your Attitude + Your Choices = Your Life :)

<<<< clicking the "really like" button :spin:

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I look about 21!

I started thinking positive about my age, so at 42 I swapped the candles.... so I was 24, this year I turned 34.... next year i'm buggered LOL

[Suej]

LOL it's defintely an age thing.... once I hit 40 I totally changed my way of thinking, although we all love a good moan/grumble once in a while, I avoid as much as humanely possible anyone who seems to have an ingrained "woe is me, whingy whingy grumble grumble" attitude, or someone who thinks their way is the only correct way and doesn't like to be opposed or won't be flexible in their set ways, if you know what I mean.....

Unfortunately you can't avoid everyone like that, but I tell you one thing, I do my very best :-)

So ok, I have VERY VERY VERY few proper friends and even fewer what I call "occassional" friends, who, like me, keep themselves to themselves the majority of the time (as we have our own busy housewifey lives, or family, or jobs, or we don't drive etc etc), so we only get together for a catch up personally every month or so..... and I'm more than happy with that thankyouverymuchly ....

An Spanish acquaintance said to me a few years ago (roughly translated) "don't let nasty thoughts and anger poison your mind/body as the only one to suffer is you" and one of my VERY good friends said to me, when I was having problems with my ex-employer "can you do anything about it? NO?.... well GET OVER IT" LOL ... she laughs because I quote her now ... but they were both right ... so now, if someone annoys me, miffs me off, tries to embarrass me, is rude, well I smile to myself and sometimes even them, and just let them get on with and I just GET OVER IT ... I tell you something, it's a satisfying feeling when you don't react to certain situations which I would have previously reacted to ... like I said, it's an age thing.... although I must admit, not everyone manages to self-critique and realise their personality flaws, but I spotted mine (temper tantrums genes from my dad, grumpy moany finding something to nag about genes from my mum.... though i've manage to change my mums outlook on things too, which seems to have worked :-D)

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I started thinking positive about my age, so at 42 I swapped the candles.... so I was 24, this year I turned 34.... next year i'm buggered LOL[/QUOTE]

It catches up with us all in the end YG!!! I see you have managed the not poison the mind bit have you sorted out the body yet?:lol:

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[QUOTE=yourneighbourdi;200094]Did that already..easier :)

First rule of thumb for me is never give the negative person sympathy! Misery loves company!;)

[Malteser Monkey]

I started thinking positive about my age, so at 42 I swapped the candles.... so I was 24, this year I turned 34.... next year i'm buggered LOL

even more so the year after:lol:

[carpenter]

Someone said to me a very long time ago never be around negative people.

I see all to often people on my face-book(not close friends)....... people living here in Tenerife members on forums ect who seem to be happy when they are moaning, putting people down, bad mouthing people, making trouble, telling everyone how hard done by they are.

I try very hard not to be around these people now as I get older as they just seem to get me down.

How do you deal with someone who is always negative........

Do you stay away from them?

Do you keep them at arms distance?

Do you accept them for who they are no matter how horrible they can be.

I for one just feel it's best to delete them from my life.

seen this below on a site and i think it's spot on.

It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.

Over to you guys.:)

If I was on your facebook Stuart I'd swear that you were talking about me. If you have a problem with someone tell them.

Recently my wife felt that she wasn't getting much support from my family and whenever they phoned they seemed to be more interested in the dogs welfare than my pregnant wife's.

They got told by me to sort there priorities out and after a couple of cold days the phone rang and my mother asked how Steph was.
Life's too short to put up with people that you don't want to put up with. If it really bothers you F*** them off your friends list or tell them to sort out their problems and stop bitching about them behind their back.

[Angusjim]

If I was on your facebook Stuart I'd swear that you were talking about me. If you have a problem with someone tell them.

Recently my wife felt that she wasn't getting much support from my family and whenever they phoned they seemed to be more interested in the dogs welfare than my pregnant wife's.

They got told by me to sort there priorities out and after a couple of cold days the phone rang and my mother asked how Steph was.
Life's too short to put up with people that you don't want to put up with. If it really bothers you F*** them off your friends list or tell them to sort out their problems and stop bitching about them behind their back.

I think you need to chill out

[CIM]

I think you need to chill out
Ta da!
http://www.tenerifeforum.org/tenerife-forum/showthread.php?18375-Staying-cool-in-Tenerife-when-it-s-REALLY-hot!

Sorry to hear about your misfortune today Jim - thats a real ball-ache. I had a similar situation this week for a size-able amount.- I have been assured everything is cool but horrible feeling until you know for sure.
My personal phrase I tell myself when things go wrong: "Get back on the horse...."
And I always do.

[Angusjim]

Ta da!
http://www.tenerifeforum.org/tenerife-forum/showthread.php?18375-Staying-cool-in-Tenerife-when-it-s-REALLY-hot!

Sorry to hear about your misfortune today Jim - thats a real ball-ache. I had a similar situation this week for a size-able amount.- I have been assured everything is cool but horrible feeling until you know for sure.
My personal phrase I tell myself when things go wrong: "Get back on the horse...."
And I always do.

Andy is that the weather or the money you are sorry to hear about :dontknow:

[carpenter]

I think you need to chill out

Why chill out I don't feel the need to chill out, I don't suffer fools nor do I stew on things, people know exactly where they stand with me and if I have a problem with someone it's dealt with immediately. Life's too short to pretend with people.
However I draw the line at hurting someones feelings with the truth.

I started a different thread a few weeks ago asking how many facebook friends is enough and many people came back and said 200, 300, even more is acceptable. You can't possible agree with all of their opinions so maybe it's time to thin a few. The less important people in your life will always **** you off with their immature views.

I'm happy in myself and I wish the world was a more honest place. If I were stressed then maybe I would take your advice but as it stands, I'm just coming off a night shift so my sleep is all over the place, my wife is due to drop any day now, we've just been robbed, we are still paying a massive vet bill and I still do not feel stressed so no need to chill Dr Jim.:wink2:

[chifleta]

even more so the year after:lol:

Ohhhh "insert BLEEP" here :scared::crying2::crying2: i'm depressed now ....

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I'm just coming off a night shift

congrats on getting a job btw ..... and omg with this heat I bet the missus can't wait to give birth, toooooo hot .... tell her to buy a water spray bottle, it's bliss (see other thread reply LOL)

[caroll72]

There's a fine line between being negative & being realistic. ;)

[Suej]

There's a fine line between being negative & being realistic. ;)

I agree with you there caroll!

[Sunlover]

'It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.'

Fully agree, would have to leave home and work though to do this. :lol:

[yourneighbourdi]

There's a fine line between being negative & being realistic. ;)

Best to be realistic though....:)

[karinagal]

It's 10 years since I had a prolonged 'square go' with breast cancer. I've learned to be thankful to still be here, have my family round me and be well. I work hard, save up time so that I can have frequent holidays and have learned not to sweat the small stuff.

I limit my exposure to negativity - I can't afford to allow negative people to suck the life from me. I value each and every one of the friends that I have and would do anything I can to help and support them. Everyone falls on hard times occasionally - it could be emotional or financial - that's different. People who constantly feel they are hard done to despite having more than most, those I cannot abide. I give these people a VERY wide berth.


The undisputed queen of de-nial

[woodchip68]

"Negative people. They're like human black holes which suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you."

"You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you and you feel exhausted."
http://www.life-with-confidence.com/how-to-deal-with-negative-people.html

Its a bit like your on a hot air balloon rising with expectations, hope, dreams and your veiw point of life gets clearer the higher you go.

Negative people fire very sharp and very dangerous arrows and the best way to deal with them is to try and avoid them at all costs as they will bring you down and deflate you.

Over positive people can over inspire you into making serious mistakes. They hold the lever down in the basket and let too much positive hot air into the balloon. This can be equally fatal.

There is such a thing though as a positive negative, this is a positive criticism that brings you down to reality and stops your balloon from soaring out of control. These people are in the basket with you and let some of the hot air out. These are good people to be around.

They will keep you balanced.

[yourneighbourdi]

3478

This pic came from an email March.Just picked up today,now there's positive for you..far too nice not to share :)

[DeedeeTipperary]

3478

This pic came from an email March.Just picked up today,now there's positive for you..far too nice not to share :)

My son showed me that picture yesterday and I loved it so much I have it as my screensaver :)

[jas]

I dont bother with them I totally agree they drag you down.
This morning I went to the tourist board in Guia to ask what they would like me to buy for the firefighters and the man took me to the social centre and they said they needed refreshing drinks they had lots of water, while I was there there was loads of people laughing and joking and the lady said they were the people from Chirche that had been evacuated, none of them were moaning just making the best out of a bad situation

being a resident of chirche i just thought i would say what a nice thing to do julia 44

[willowlily]

"Negative people. They're like human black holes which suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you."

"You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you and you feel exhausted."
http://www.life-with-confidence.com/how-to-deal-with-negative-people.html

Its a bit like your on a hot air balloon rising with expectations, hope, dreams and your veiw point of life gets clearer the higher you go.

Negative people fire very sharp and very dangerous arrows and the best way to deal with them is to try and avoid them at all costs as they will bring you down and deflate you.

Over positive people can over inspire you into making serious mistakes. They hold the lever down in the basket and let too much positive hot air into the balloon. This can be equally fatal.

There is such a thing though as a positive negative, this is a positive criticism that brings you down to reality and stops your balloon from soaring out of control. These people are in the basket with you and let some of the hot air out. These are good people to be around.

They will keep you balanced.

words of wisdom indeed.
i dont have a temper just a cold rage and it has been tested to uncharted heights in the past. my motto is " revenge is a dish best served cold ".
i distance myself from negative and aggressive people as it can do you no good, unless you are one of these people that just loves to stir up trouble and delights in causing social chaotic disturbances wherever they are.
life is short, and best when it is sweet.

[Suej]

words of wisdom indeed.
i dont have a temper just a cold rage and it has been tested to uncharted heights in the past. my motto is " revenge is a dish best served cold ".
i distance myself from negative and aggressive people as it can do you no good, unless you are one of these people that just loves to stir up trouble and delights in causing social chaotic disturbances wherever they are.
life is short, and best when it is sweet.


These people are mostly self obsessed, attention seekers or simply bored out of their brains! Best avoided if possible!:wink:

[hayley1376]

I have been on the island just over a year now and I can honestly say I have never met a breed of people like I have on this island. I am only 21, so I understand that I have exactly got the advantage of experience and wisdom on my side, but my God, what is wrong with some people! There are business owners who are miserable, rude and out-right bullies, and there's the tourists.... would you even believe half are even HOLIDAY?! A smile and some manners go a long way. Either that or people need to eat out more, because I never realised waitress also meant the skivvy you can talk to as if they are nothing. Tenerife has taught me so much about people, and not necessarily good things either! Albeit I do enjoy the island, and this is by no means a reflection of my overall experience, im just glad I have found some people on the same wave length!

[woodchip68]

I have been on the island just over a year now and I can honestly say I have never met a breed of people like I have on this island. I am only 21, so I understand that I have exactly got the advantage of experience and wisdom on my side, but my God, what is wrong with some people! There are business owners who are miserable, rude and out-right bullies, and there's the tourists.... would you even believe half are even HOLIDAY?! A smile and some manners go a long way. Either that or people need to eat out more, because I never realised waitress also meant the skivvy you can talk to as if they are nothing. Tenerife has taught me so much about people, and not necessarily good things either! Albeit I do enjoy the island, and this is by no means a reflection of my overall experience, im just glad I have found some people on the same wave length!

After driving around the south and talking to many business owners I found that I was hitting constant brick walls. Time for a change in strategy I thought.

I'm not a sales person as my personality does not permit me to be, but this was the psychology I was using. I like to ask to the point questions to get direct answers and this is what I then did.

I would start generaly talking about their business, hows things going and such. I showed an interest in what they did. I genuinely am interested. The walls came down and then a proper conversation started.

The issue with most businesses here is that they have given up or they are just going through the motions everyday. "Theres not any money about so whats the point" and their attitude reflects this.

If you had a negative business how would you feel. It's a virus.

I agree there is some that do not appreciate the staff they have, but there's alot of business owners that see them as a burden. If you understand the employment law here you would know what I'm taking about. Most of the time its not the person as much as it's the expense they have and the legal situations they cannot control. As for the slave drivers here that make a profit from those that they know have nowhere else to go, there is no excuse and they disgust me.

Regarding tourists, I fly to the UK twice a month and most of the time on my return to Tenerife I meet they most miserable people on the planet. It gives me a heavy heart, so now I have my ipod on for 90% of the journey so that I do not have to listen to them and all the negative energy that they bring here.

Tourist "hows business?" Owner "well you know its ok" Tourist " oh I know its a terrible time were having ...blah blah"

When they hear this so many times, from so many tourist that just want to make conversation, their thoughts start to deflate their motivation. So to not smile or make conversation is either, its a chor or a protection for their own feelings.

What you have to consider when making your comments is that, these people, these business owners, also moved here with hopes and dreams. They had expectations of a better and easier life.

Negativity shattered it.

[Foz]

My hubby used to be an unbelievably negative person!!! He used to either bring me down or infuriate me. Then I discovered my most effective tool was to just go completely quiet whenever he was spouting off about how hell life is. Eventually his diatribe would fizzle to a halt ... I'd leave it a couple of mins and then start a new conversation completely ignoring everything he'd said! Eventually (I am talking years here I'm afraid) he has started to count his blessings and appreciate the simple pleasures of life. He's far more relaxed and even pulls me up if I'm ever caught having a moan!

Moral of the story ..... you can either let these negative people drag you down ... or you can be the one to lift them. (Depends how important the person is to you I guess xxxx )

[TOTO 99]

My hubby used to be an unbelievably negative person!!! He used to either bring me down or infuriate me. Then I discovered my most effective tool was to just go completely quiet whenever he was spouting off about how hell life is. Eventually his diatribe would fizzle to a halt ... I'd leave it a couple of mins and then start a new conversation completely ignoring everything he'd said! Eventually (I am talking years here I'm afraid) he has started to count his blessings and appreciate the simple pleasures of life. He's far more relaxed and even pulls me up if I'm ever caught having a moan!

Moral of the story ..... you can either let these negative people drag you down ... or you can be the one to lift them. (Depends how important the person is to you I guess xxxx )

He doesn't know how lucky he is....Most of the women on here would have just poisoned him..:laugh:

[Foz]

He doesn't know how lucky he is....Most of the women on here would have just poisoned him..:laugh:

He's always had some endearing qualities :wink: honest x

[warbey]

I think its nice occasionally to connect with negative People.

You can go away and count Your blessings You are not like those poor miserable Souls. (Who often can be wealthy).

[caroll72]

I think its nice occasionally to connect with negative People.

You can go away and count Your blessings You are not like those poor miserable Souls. (Who often can be wealthy).

Too bloomin right warbey!
We were unfortunate enough to work for wealthy people. They were never happy, always moaning & striving to get one up on their wealthy neighbours. Give me the poor & happy any day :wink:

[DeedeeTipperary]

I have been on the island just over a year now and I can honestly say I have never met a breed of people like I have on this island. I am only 21, so I understand that I have exactly got the advantage of experience and wisdom on my side, but my God, what is wrong with some people! There are business owners who are miserable, rude and out-right bullies, and there's the tourists.... would you even believe half are even HOLIDAY?! A smile and some manners go a long way. Either that or people need to eat out more, because I never realised waitress also meant the skivvy you can talk to as if they are nothing. Tenerife has taught me so much about people, and not necessarily good things either! Albeit I do enjoy the island, and this is by no means a reflection of my overall experience, im just glad I have found some people on the same wave length!



This is so sad to read , we visited Tenerife for the first time last Summer and had an amazing holiday . We met some lovely people , working in bars and restaurants , some lovely Taxi drivers and friendly holiday makers . We found the PRs outside the restaurants and bars very polite with a friendly smile on their face . Granted we were on holiday and were in a happy mood ourselves , but I am a firm believer in having a smile on your face even if your upset on the inside , people will most often smile back at you . I would be very upset if any of my family would treat anyone like they were a skivvy , everyone deserves respect ! In life you will always meet unpleasant people , but the pleasant people in my opinion far outweigh them :)

[Angusjim]

After driving around the south and talking to many business owners I found that I was hitting constant brick walls. Time for a change in strategy I thought.

I'm not a sales person as my personality does not permit me to be, but this was the psychology I was using. I like to ask to the point questions to get direct answers and this is what I then did.

I would start generaly talking about their business, hows things going and such. I showed an interest in what they did. I genuinely am interested. The walls came down and then a proper conversation started.

The issue with most businesses here is that they have given up or they are just going through the motions everyday. "Theres not any money about so whats the point" and their attitude reflects this.

If you had a negative business how would you feel. It's a virus.

I agree there is some that do not appreciate the staff they have, but there's alot of business owners that see them as a burden. If you understand the employment law here you would know what I'm taking about. Most of the time its not the person as much as it's the expense they have and the legal situations they cannot control. As for the slave drivers here that make a profit from those that they know have nowhere else to go, there is no excuse and they disgust me.

Regarding tourists, I fly to the UK twice a month and most of the time on my return to Tenerife I meet they most miserable people on the planet. It gives me a heavy heart, so now I have my ipod on for 90% of the journey so that I do not have to listen to them and all the negative energy that they bring here.

Tourist "hows business?" Owner "well you know its ok" Tourist " oh I know its a terrible time were having ...blah blah"

When they hear this so many times, from so many tourist that just want to make conversation, their thoughts start to deflate their motivation. So to not smile or make conversation is either, its a chor or a protection for their own feelings.

What you have to consider when making your comments is that, these people, these business owners, also moved here with hopes and dreams. They had expectations of a better and easier life.

Negativity shattered it.

I think its a bit easier to have a positive attitude when you are not burdended with lack of works / no profit margin / VERY unreasonable banks / unreasonable contract deadlines / clients trying to rip you off / cash flow problems / companies going bust and springing back up in 2 weeks time debt free, that's a brief overview of the construction industry in the UK and I assume in Spain. And I have to say I am finding it very difficult at the moment to have a positive outlook when you get a kicking nearly everyday & live in fear of another client going bust this week.

[candy2411]

There's a very fine line between being branded 'negative' and just plain 'realistic'.

Life being what it is , there will always be the people who are successful , see everyday as a new challenge but there are lots and lots who must feel on that hamster wheel, working hard and getting nowhere fast.

It's easy to say money and success can't buy you happiness , but its generally the ones who have both come out with such statements.

[TOTO 99]

I could be completely wrong here but, without sounding like a world war one veteran, people these days seem to crave sympathy.
Take for instance the Facebook status of "I'm really sad today" for no real justifiable reason but it usually gets followed by the numerous sycophantic replies of "aw hun you'll be ok", "chin up hun"..........Surely it's not just me? If that carries on we will have a nation of whimps and I think it's starting to show already.
God, I sound like my grandad..lol

[Angusjim]

But on a more positive note I am sitting this morning going thru applications received for 2 apprenticeships we are offering and this does raise my spirits when I think of the happiness & hope this will bring to a couple of families shortly.:)

[woodchip68]

But on a more positive note I am sitting this morning going thru applications received for 2 apprenticeships we are offering and this does raise my spirits when I think of the happiness & hope this will bring to a couple of families shortly.:)

Thank God the govenment woke up. I hope the system is operated the same or better than it was when I was a joinery apprentice in the 80's.

The way things were going in the UK, trades would have been either eastern European or a trowel in one hand and zimmer in the other.

What were they thinking when they stopped it?

I hope it goes well for you Angusjim and I wish you all the success.

[Angusjim]

Thank God the govenment woke up. I hope the system is operated the same or better than it was when I was a joinery apprentice in the 80's.

The way things were going in the UK, trades would have been either eastern European or a trowel in one hand and zimmer in the other.

What were they thinking when they stopped it?

I hope it goes well for you Angusjim and I wish you all the success.

I am afraid the government has not woken up we get no grants or tax breaks other than the paying the fees to college & exam fees they would still rather pay something like job seekers allowance to yougsters than give our industry ( Electrical ) funding to take on apprentices, but we need to bring new blood into the industry or there is no hope. Our local college last year had one class of 10 where in previous years they had 3 classes of around 12 thats the scale of the problem,there will be in the coming years a HUGE skills shortage through out the industry which the government seem to be ignoring. ( sorry off topic I know )

[woodchip68]

I am afraid the government has not woken up we get no grants or tax breaks other than the paying the fees to college & exam fees they would still rather pay something like job seekers allowance to yougsters than give our industry ( Electrical ) funding to take on apprentices, but we need to bring new blood into the industry or there is no hope. Our local college last year had one class of 10 where in previous years they had 3 classes of around 12 thats the scale of the problem,there will be in the coming years a HUGE skills shortage through out the industry which the government seem to be ignoring. ( sorry off topic I know )

I have heard so much hype about it that this week I asked my HR to look into it. I think at the end of the day its companies like yours with a positive outlook on the apprenticeships that will get the industries training again.

Maybe thats what the govenment are banking on.

I remember there use to be a scheme of young people on the dole who wanted to learn a trade, I cant remember what it was called, but they went to school for one day and they worked on the job for two days. They got an extra tenner on their dole.

It lasted for 40 weeks. We used to have quite a few on the sites when I was at Bovis homes.

[Balcony]

Like the O/P I like to be around positive people both home and Tenerife and this is normally how it is, thankfully. Even friends with illness are totally positive about their situation. You do meet some who may have problems (financial, health etc) for whom life has become a burden and they can make you feel low. But I was surprised/cheered by an estate agent - yes, an estate agent - who showed our apartment which was in builders turmoil and even managed to turn it into a positive! Cheers.

[londonjimmy]

I have been known to end friendships very quickly if I felt that someone was going to bring negativity to me or my family. I particulary like this story when thinking about friendships/relationships/outlook on life

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, judgement, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

You can feed this bad wolf by being around others who feed the bad wolf too.

[KirstyJay]

I am afraid the government has not woken up we get no grants or tax breaks other than the paying the fees to college & exam fees they would still rather pay something like job seekers allowance to yougsters than give our industry ( Electrical ) funding to take on apprentices, but we need to bring new blood into the industry or there is no hope. Our local college last year had one class of 10 where in previous years they had 3 classes of around 12 thats the scale of the problem,there will be in the coming years a HUGE skills shortage through out the industry which the government seem to be ignoring. ( sorry off topic I know )

Maybe new school leavers should take heed, as it's these industries that will command the highest wages in the next 10 years.

[KirstyJay]

I think its a bit easier to have a positive attitude when you are not burdended with lack of works / no profit margin / VERY unreasonable banks / unreasonable contract deadlines / clients trying to rip you off / cash flow problems / companies going bust and springing back up in 2 weeks time debt free, that's a brief overview of the construction industry in the UK and I assume in Spain. And I have to say I am finding it very difficult at the moment to have a positive outlook when you get a kicking nearly everyday & live in fear of another client going bust this week.

One of my longest and very close Tenerife friends committed suicide 6 months ago because of this... And to this day we all find it really hard to understand because no one knew exactly how bad he felt or that anything was quite that bad It was only money. It wasn't worth a life of a great person. :(

[warbey]

I dont know how many who Posted on this Thread have suffered from Depression.

I have, and there are no Highs in Your Life. I can understand being suicidal too.

There is still a large gap between being negative and depression though.

Its just hard for the Average Person to realise, and móst hide it well as a Fellow Member can verify..


I support this Thread's meaning but frankly I would rather listen to a negative Person

moaning rather than the Person who's favourate subject is THEMSELF.

That really hacks Me off.

[jas]

this poem sums up this thread for me perfectly

desiderata - by max ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

[caroll72]

I remember back in 1972, Les Crane had a hit with this song.
What beautiful words & something to hold onto when everything gets you down. :wink:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTRgYc3HhpI

[Foz]

Had a great night out with friends last night and consequently feeling a tad fragile this morning!!!! I should have gone to the gym, but was struggling to motivate myself. Having read through this thread, I'm off to get my gym kit on and going for a workout xx Thanks for all the positive thoughts everyone xxx

[warbey]

I was given some advice Tonight.

If a Miserable Person calls on You and unburdens Themselves of Their Troubles at Yours

When They Leave, "symbolically throw their troubles after Them."

A lot (I hope) will understand.. Superstition maybe.?

[hayley1376]

This is so sad to read , we visited Tenerife for the first time last Summer and had an amazing holiday . We met some lovely people , working in bars and restaurants , some lovely Taxi drivers and friendly holiday makers . We found the PRs outside the restaurants and bars very polite with a friendly smile on their face . Granted we were on holiday and were in a happy mood ourselves , but I am a firm believer in having a smile on your face even if your upset on the inside , people will most often smile back at you . I would be very upset if any of my family would treat anyone like they were a skivvy , everyone deserves respect ! In life you will always meet unpleasant people , but the pleasant people in my opinion far outweigh them :)

oh don't get me wrong, i have met some lovely lovely people and its sad that i probably wont be meeting them again and i definately agree with the end part, the pleasant people make it worth-while. I just don't understand how some people can be so rude, you give them 110% where and when you can, and it seems as if that doesn't count. I have been quite unlucky with employers since iv been here so im guessing its just a knock on effect but i cannot believe how some people really are. Im young and still learning and this is all apart of that learning curve but it is upsetting when people think that can say whatever they can to anyone without thinking about the consequences?? Iv just realised how much of a rant my last post was, sorry for that! haha, just a lot of built up frustration and i am by no way saying all tourists are like that. Its just sad some people ruin it for everybody else hey!!

- - - - - - - - - - merged double post - - - - - - - - - -


After driving around the south and talking to many business owners I found that I was hitting constant brick walls. Time for a change in strategy I thought.

I'm not a sales person as my personality does not permit me to be, but this was the psychology I was using. I like to ask to the point questions to get direct answers and this is what I then did.

I would start generaly talking about their business, hows things going and such. I showed an interest in what they did. I genuinely am interested. The walls came down and then a proper conversation started.

The issue with most businesses here is that they have given up or they are just going through the motions everyday. "Theres not any money about so whats the point" and their attitude reflects this.

If you had a negative business how would you feel. It's a virus.

I agree there is some that do not appreciate the staff they have, but there's alot of business owners that see them as a burden. If you understand the employment law here you would know what I'm taking about. Most of the time its not the person as much as it's the expense they have and the legal situations they cannot control. As for the slave drivers here that make a profit from those that they know have nowhere else to go, there is no excuse and they disgust me.

Regarding tourists, I fly to the UK twice a month and most of the time on my return to Tenerife I meet they most miserable people on the planet. It gives me a heavy heart, so now I have my ipod on for 90% of the journey so that I do not have to listen to them and all the negative energy that they bring here.

Tourist "hows business?" Owner "well you know its ok" Tourist " oh I know its a terrible time were having ...blah blah"

When they hear this so many times, from so many tourist that just want to make conversation, their thoughts start to deflate their motivation. So to not smile or make conversation is either, its a chor or a protection for their own feelings.

What you have to consider when making your comments is that, these people, these business owners, also moved here with hopes and dreams. They had expectations of a better and easier life.

Negativity shattered it.


I think you have got the complete wrong end of the stick from my post to be honest with you. I have spent hours chatting to tourists, having polite conversations when they come into the bar, even if I see them outside of work, I am more than happy to stop and ask how their day is going. I have always been a positive person, consistently complimented on my positive attitude and constant smile at work, and the tips showed that. Sometimes it isn't all smiles though is it? All I am doing is simply saying how people's attitudes does not seem to match those of a typical 'holiday attitude'. I have neither said it is EVERYBODY or the majority, its just those few bad apples that ruin it for everyone else.
On the business front, the particular businesses I have worked for have not given up, or struggling, they have all been comfortable but yet I have been called 'a little *****' and a 'c**t' among many other things, had my hours messed around with, and been outright bullied in one job. So please excuse me sir, this is my experience and I cant say I can sympathise with the people who have screwed me over, for no reason at all. I DO understand that a business is their income and means of living but I need to make an honest living as well, without being put down or bullied in the process. Funnily enough, I do also understand the Spanish system (so need need for the patronising) but that is irrelevant to me because I am saying about those people who will happily put you down for the benefit of their own self worth. On the other hand I do have sympathy for business that are stuggling. For example, I worked for a bar that was struggling around Christmas time, so I was effectively out of work for 4 weeks in the lead up, but willingly pitched in doing what I could, even the jobs that I have sworn I would never do again, i.e PR. I helped them out a lot, and all I got in return was a random nasty phone call which ended in me being screamed at and verbally abused for 20 minutes.

So while I appreciate your reply, giving a different perspective to think about, I have obviously had a different experience being here to what you have, and I am purely going by what I have known. I said at the end of my post, this is not me writing Tenerife off, my overall experience has been fantastic, and iv met the most interesting people being here. Just would have been a little nicer without the f**k, s**t and C**t a long the way. Im sure you'll understand me on that one.

But yes, negativity has shattered a lot of here and it is a shame.

[murph]

"Negative people. They're like human black holes which suddenly come out of nowhere and just suck the life out of you."

"You try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining you and you feel exhausted."
http://www.life-with-confidence.com/how-to-deal-with-negative-people.html

Its a bit like your on a hot air balloon rising with expectations, hope, dreams and your veiw point of life gets clearer the higher you go.

Negative people fire very sharp and very dangerous arrows and the best way to deal with them is to try and avoid them at all costs as they will bring you down and deflate you.

Over positive people can over inspire you into making serious mistakes. They hold the lever down in the basket and let too much positive hot air into the balloon. This can be equally fatal.

There is such a thing though as a positive negative, this is a positive criticism that brings you down to reality and stops your balloon from soaring out of control. These people are in the basket with you and let some of the hot air out. These are good people to be around.

They will keep you balanced.

I have two good mates who are 'over-positive' - to the point that they are ALWAYS letting people down.

What do I mean? Well one is a personal friend. If I or someone asks him if he fancies going here or there for a pint he always says yes - he wants to be seen as positive and can't say no. In reality, he knows he cannot - or possibly doesn't want to go to that particular place on that day, so lets you down.

The other guy is a business colleague. Exactly the same, he always says yes to any request or proposal - even in the knowledge that it can't be done. So again lets you down.

I would rather people were realistic and told the truth - even if it is a 'no' in the first place at least you know where you stand, even if you might not like it!

[RETEPYELKNIRB]

Laugh and the world laughs with you,cry and you cry alone!

[chifleta]

I dont know how many who Posted on this Thread have suffered from Depression.

I have, and there are no Highs in Your Life. I can understand being suicidal too.

There is still a large gap between being negative and depression though.

Its just hard for the Average Person to realise, and móst hide it well as a Fellow Member can verify..


I support this Thread's meaning but frankly I would rather listen to a negative Person

moaning rather than the Person who's favourate subject is THEMSELF.

That really hacks Me off.

But don't you think that sometimes reading other peoples positive outlooks on "themselves" help perk up others and help them say to themselves "yeah, I could do that"? as long as they're not too up their own :bootyshake: - i'm proud of a couple of achievements i've done over the last few years and I'm the first to brag about it, both took a lot of willpower, but it doesn't mean i'm always positive, though I try to be, otherwise i'd go into one of my "melancholy" moods (as my OH calls them), especially as I can't afford to even visit family in UK this year.

I went through a mild depression this summer which really miffed me, because I couldn't understand why, and my friend who has suffered from depression for a longgggg time said to me recently, depression is not always because you are sad/stressed about something, it's also caused by an imbalance in the body.... so we broke down what was troubling me, and apart from trying to get back on a strict weight loss routine, the only thing we fathomed was lack of sleep.... simple as that, and it threw me right off kilter. My son got himself a summer job, he finished late, was borrowing the car (he'd only recently passed his test) so his old mum panicked until he got home each even for 6 whole weeks, and basically was losing about 3 hours sleep each night, and for someone who normally gets 5 to 6 hours a night, it slightly messes up the system.

My problem is a lot of time I love to help people out, but i've had to get to the stage where I need to think about number 1, so as not to get down too. So I like to think positive, and like another Post said, avoid people that are negative, I also try and avoid people with too much drama in their lives, sometimes they seem like magnets to it. I've had drama/excitement/stress/money worries/job worries along with the best of them, but right now, right this minute, i'm thinking about me .... i'll still give my two centimos worth on here though :D

Oh look, i've been negative and moaned and it was about myself :fpull: LOL

- - - - - - - - - - merged double post - - - - - - - - - -


this poem sums up this thread for me perfectly

desiderata - by max ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

Love it (apart from the God bit, but that's because i'm a non-believer) - there are a couple of phrases in that that I need to send to a dear friend right this minute :)

[carpenter]

Love it (apart from the God bit, but that's because i'm a non-believer) - there are a couple of phrases in that that I need to send to a dear friend right this minute :)

Maybe this will help you understand

http://sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/30986_10151949104649298_1396765309_n.jpg

[Suej]

Maybe this will help you understand

http://sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/30986_10151949104649298_1396765309_n.jpg

Can you get Kindle editions? :wink2:

[chifleta]

Maybe this will help you understand

http://sphotos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/30986_10151949104649298_1396765309_n.jpg

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

- - - - - - - - - - merged double post - - - - - - - - - -

now pack it in Carpenter, that was totally off topic :whistle:

[rosemary]

If a friend is going through a bad time try to help them through it.

If a "friend" has been negative from birth and it is pulling you down too, then don't waste your good life trying to help them, stay clear! And it's never too late to do that.

[warbey]

Chifleta, i dont think the word mild goes with Illness, which Depression is, in MyBook
I was aware of Your depression, which I leave at that on Here.

NO WAY could anyone trying to perk ME up do it by example. I would hate Them for it,
as You would, if ever at that Stage.

We are all different though and what works for One, doesnt always work for the Other
Just to have a Friend available is a good thing, better still if an Undemanding one...............

[carpenter]

We were born with legs, we are not meant to stay in one place for long.
If your surroundings are bringing you down then move onto somewhere else.

Some people call that running away from your problems and your troubles will always catch up with you.
But if you do find a happier place than you will be in a better position to deal with your problems when they do catch you up.

That's what has brought a lot of people to Tenerife in the first place and now their troubles have caught them up, usually financial, These people hoping that Tenerife had street paved with gold when in reality they are full of pot holes and pit falls.

Ones man's heaven is other man's hell

[skeeter]

Hello There...
Good topic. Send them positive energy. Be yourself around them and dont let the negativity rub off on you!

[chifleta]

Chifleta, i dont think the word mild goes with Illness, which Depression is, in MyBook
I was aware of Your depression, which I leave at that on Here.

NO WAY could anyone trying to perk ME up do it by example. I would hate Them for it,
as You would, if ever at that Stage.

We are all different though and what works for One, doesnt always work for the Other
Just to have a Friend available is a good thing, better still if an Undemanding one...............

IMO I think one can have a mild depression, there are differing levels, and I decided I didn't want to go the medicinal route, although my friend suggested I did, luckily i've managed to sort my head out, but being female, there is definately a chemical imbalance that influences your emotions. Thankfully I recognise this, and am able, on this occassion, to kick myself out of it.

You were aware of my depression! or is that a typo?

Yes I agree that it would have only took "me" to sort myself out, but then i'm stubborn and too independent, i'm a helper/giver, i don't accept or ask for help hardly ever - though I did ask my friends advice, as she's suffered heavy depression for a very long time unfortunately.

- - - - - - - - - - merged double post - - - - - - - - - -


We were born with legs, we are not meant to stay in one place for long.
If your surroundings are bringing you down then move onto somewhere else.

Some people call that running away from your problems and your troubles will always catch up with you.
But if you do find a happier place than you will be in a better position to deal with your problems when they do catch you up.

That's what has brought a lot of people to Tenerife in the first place and now their troubles have caught them up, usually financial, These people hoping that Tenerife had street paved with gold when in reality they are full of pot holes and pit falls.

Ones man's heaven is other man's hell

me and my ex-boss used to call that "The Tenerife Syndrome" .... if you had problems (e.g. marital probs) before you moved over, then moving over here probably wouldn't change that in the long term...just delayed the inevitable ..

[warbey]

.
.
Chifleta. There is a saying, "Takes One to know One". Very very true.

Independent, stubborn and a few more traits I recognise.

Medication helps, short term, but not long term with most.

As to how I knew, lets just say it was instinct.

[chifleta]

.
.
Chifleta. There is a saying, "Takes One to know One". Very very true.

Independent, stubborn and a few more traits I recognise.

Medication helps, short term, but not long term with most.

As to how I knew, lets just say it was instinct.

The problem with medication for depression is you have to be on it for 6 months so i've been told, so my stubborn side veers away from that, I hate taking any type of pill ... I was the same with BP pills, I avoided the doctor for years knowing that I really needed to take pills, I'm now on them and they make me tired and feel lazy and my doctor is an idiot, but the best idiot of a bad bunch.... i'm slowly getting "used to" having normal bloody pressure now grrr.... i also used to suffer evil migraines, but I just pop the necessary pill nowadays :D

[warbey]

The problem with medication for depression is you have to be on it for 6 months so i've been told, so my stubborn side veers away from that, I hate taking any type of pill ... I was the same with BP pills, I avoided the doctor for years knowing that I really needed to take pills, I'm now on them and they make me tired and feel lazy and my doctor is an idiot, but the best idiot of a bad bunch.... i'm slowly getting "used to" having normal bloody pressure now grrr.... i also used to suffer evil migraines, but I just pop the necessary pill nowadays :D

Another Aries if I remember correctly.?

We arent miserable so and so's.!

[funhunter]

Here are two ways you can deal with these people:

Either
1) Explain to them that negative thinking slows down brain coordination, leading to being frightened and has been shown to decrease activity in your cerebellum, which slow the brain's ability to process new information-limiting your ability to practice creative problem solving. Additionally, the fear factor impacts your left temporal lobe, which affects mood, memory, and impulse control.Your frontal lobe, particularly your PFC, decides what is important according to the amount of attention you pay to something and how you feel about it. Thus, the more you focus on negativity, the more synapses and neurons your brain will create that support your negative thought process.Also your hippocampus provides the context of stored memories, which means the emotional tone and description your mind creates can potentially rewire your brain by creating stronger neuronal pathways and synapses.

Or

2) Tell them to shut up!

[chifleta]

Here are two ways you can deal with these people:

Either
1) Explain to them that negative thinking slows down brain coordination, leading to being frightened and has been shown to decrease activity in your cerebellum, which slow the brain's ability to process new information-limiting your ability to practice creative problem solving. Additionally, the fear factor impacts your left temporal lobe, which affects mood, memory, and impulse control.Your frontal lobe, particularly your PFC, decides what is important according to the amount of attention you pay to something and how you feel about it. Thus, the more you focus on negativity, the more synapses and neurons your brain will create that support your negative thought process.Also your hippocampus provides the context of stored memories, which means the emotional tone and description your mind creates can potentially rewire your brain by creating stronger neuronal pathways and synapses.

Or

2) Tell them to shut up!

:crylaughing::crylaughing::crylaughing:

[warbey]

Here are two ways you can deal with these people:

Either
1) Explain to them that negative thinking slows down brain coordination, leading to being frightened and has been shown to decrease activity in your cerebellum, which slow the brain's ability to process new information-limiting your ability to practice creative problem solving. Additionally, the fear factor impacts your left temporal lobe, which affects mood, memory, and impulse control.Your frontal lobe, particularly your PFC, decides what is important according to the amount of attention you pay to something and how you feel about it. Thus, the more you focus on negativity, the more synapses and neurons your brain will create that support your negative thought process.Also your hippocampus provides the context of stored memories, which means the emotional tone and description your mind creates can potentially rewire your brain by creating stronger neuronal pathways and synapses.

Or

2) Tell them to shut up!


Er...Could You say that again Please.? . .:D:D

[Sammy60]

Well we are our choices our decisions I must admit all I have had since deciding to come back in Jan is moan doom gloom, you attract what you are what you think, if you want to be happy be happy remember why you came to this Island then come and live back here where its grey cold to noisy to fast and no one says hola without thinking there going to be mugged..........Im a positron happy gal always smiling I WILL never be accepted here but cannot wait to get back to smiley faces...........