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with cheese
18-06-2011, 22:49
In line with the rape thread, what do people actually know about drug awareness.
As part of our training we do extensive work on drug abuse and drug awareness. This is in both children/young adults and birth parents.
One rule is the stay safe rule, part of this being if people are going to do drugs buy them from a known dealer. This may seem wrong to teach this but if for reasons you can't stop it happening at least teach the right controls.

sunspot
18-06-2011, 22:57
This is a good thread with whats been happening not just here but all around the world,my "kids" are grown up now,thankfully without getting involved with drugs but i do worry about the grandchildren now they are getting to the age where they are likely to see more of it going on

cainaries
18-06-2011, 23:31
Oh, with cheese, I wish it were easy. Perhaps for children living with both of their biological parents in a caring, loving environment with open discussion it works. My stepson lived with OH and me from the age of 10 but it was an extremely rocky road - as all 3 of us now acknowledge - and he fell by the wayside. Now in his thirties he has been through the drugs equivalent of AA and AA itself and has also given up smoking and has got his life and his act cleaned up. He and I have apologised to each other for both being inconsiderate and we are now really good mates. You can tell kids stuff and tell them what will happen but sometimes they just don't care what you know and have to prove it for themselves.

TenerifeTeddy
18-06-2011, 23:39
In line with the rape thread, what do people actually know about drug awareness.
As part of our training we do extensive work on drug abuse and drug awareness. This is in both children/young adults and birth parents.
One rule is the stay safe rule, part of this being if people are going to do drugs buy them from a known dealer. This may seem wrong to teach this but if for reasons you can't stop it happening at least teach the right controls.

Sorry, but in my personal opinion I canīt agree with that. The whole point of illegal drugs is that you have no idea what kind of crap they have been cut with, so you have no idea what you are putting into your body, or what effect they will have on you.???.. How many kids have died through contaminated so called recreational drugs.

I come from a different generation and a forces background and it is something I have always had zero tolerance about. I have never got my head around the idea of "recreational" drugs. Alcohol was enough for me :).

I canīt understand why anyone could willingly lose all control of their own function and leave themselves at the mercy of whatever predator happened to be around at the time.

Drugs have become too socially acceptable, It happened from my generation onwards, and if the parents canīt see the wrong in it what chance have their kids got.

Unfortunately I donīt have an answer, or at least one that would be acceptable in a democratic society, but I find it sad when itīs got to the stage that you teach people to use a known dealer, rather than not take them in the first place. I am not having a go at "with cheese" personally just what a sorry state of affairs things have reached.

Suzy_Bear
19-06-2011, 05:05
I think young people today are told the danger of drugs, and keeping themselves safe.... alot... all magazines, soaps etc have horror stories all the time. I worked in psychiatric wards and reguarly you would get young people admited with mental health problems due to the fact they had taken drugs on holiday and it had caused some sort of episode (dont get me wrong, everyone is different, and you get the chicken and egg argument, was it the drugs or were they already mentally ill) Anyway, my point is, alot of teenagers have the "it wont happen to me" attitude (as did I when i was a teenager, im horrified at some of the stupid situations I got my self in too) especially when inhabitions are lower, like such a time when they are on holiday for the first time without parents and full of the sangria.

im not really sure how these problems can be solved, I just think that drug awareness isnt the problem, there is a lot more education about this than when I was younger (which wasnt too long ago!) staying safe and looking after your peers should be a message that needs to be given i suppose

with cheese
19-06-2011, 06:54
TT I am from a forces background too.
If you are going to be moderating then you need to understand threads better, this is an open discussion of what people think and how kids should be guided.
My point is one that all persons trained in childcare are given to advise children. Basically if kids are going to do drugs or drink you are not always going to be able to stop them.
I am totally against recreational drugs but do understand it happens. We need to ensure there are ways of staying as safe as possible.
Cainaries, of course there will be people that are in very difficult situations and even kids not living with both biological parents can be given good advice by either one of the parents, extended family or carers.

TenerifeTeddy
19-06-2011, 10:38
TT I am from a forces background too.
If you are going to be moderating then you need to understand threads better, this is an open discussion of what people think and how kids should be guided.
My point is one that all persons trained in childcare are given to advise children. Basically if kids are going to do drugs or drink you are not always going to be able to stop them.
I am totally against recreational drugs but do understand it happens. We need to ensure there are ways of staying as safe as possible.
Cainaries, of course there will be people that are in very difficult situations and even kids not living with both biological parents can be given good advice by either one of the parents, extended family or carers.

This was my personal opinion hence the IMO, to make it clearer I have edited the post and spelt it out. No moderating involved :)

Zara
19-06-2011, 10:58
Oh, with cheese, I wish it were easy. Perhaps for children living with both of their biological parents in a caring, loving environment with open discussion it works. My stepson lived with OH and me from the age of 10 but it was an extremely rocky road - as all 3 of us now acknowledge - and he fell by the wayside. Now in his thirties he has been through the drugs equivalent of AA and AA itself and has also given up smoking and has got his life and his act cleaned up. He and I have apologised to each other for both being inconsiderate and we are now really good mates. You can tell kids stuff and tell them what will happen but sometimes they just don't care what you know and have to prove it for themselves.

With respect cainaries being with both biological parents and having an open attitude to discussing things at home in my experience makes not the slightest bit of difference. We have two daughters, both brought up the same and always encouraged to talk. The eldest and possibly the brightest tried anything and everything despite the warnings. She knew the score and 'knew nothing bad could possibly happen to her' she knew exactly what she was doing and who she was doing it with. Our younger daughter has never dabbled with anything other than the odd cigarette or pint of lager. There is only 15 months between them so not a huge age gap where she could have seen the ill effects, they were both going out together with the same crowds. IMO it is down to personalities, some people want to experiment others dont.


Sorry, but in my personal opinion I canīt agree with that. The whole point of illegal drugs is that you have no idea what kind of crap they have been cut with, so you have no idea what you are putting into your body, or what effect they will have on you.???.. How many kids have died through contaminated so called recreational drugs.

I come from a different generation and a forces background and it is something I have always had zero tolerance about. I have never got my head around the idea of "recreational" drugs. Alcohol was enough for me :).

I canīt understand why anyone could willingly lose all control of their own function and leave themselves at the mercy of whatever predator happened to be around at the time.

Drugs have become too socially acceptable, It happened from my generation onwards, and if the parents canīt see the wrong in it what chance have their kids got.

Unfortunately I donīt have an answer, or at least one that would be acceptable in a democratic society, but I find it sad when itīs got to the stage that you teach people to use a known dealer, rather than not take them in the first place. I am not having a go at "with cheese" personally just what a sorry state of affairs things have reached.

While I respect it is your own personal opinion TT, it does not take away from the fact that drugs are readily available, people not just youngsters take them and whether you approve or not it is a fact of life. Far better to warn those want to indulge to do it as 'safely' as possible rather than make the matter worse than it already is.

Fortunately our elder daughter eventually cleaned up her act (donīt think I could have taken the strain too much longer) and has turned into a great parent herself. Her experiences have made her aware of the signs to look out for in her own 12 year old daughter. Our younger daughter on the other hand has had various problems that are nothing to do with drink or drugs which make her far harder to live with.

reggie
19-06-2011, 11:23
Like zara, i have 2 kids, well men now, 1 tried anything and everything, i put it down to the company he kept, the other squeaky clean, never had a parking ticket, so was it how they were brought up ?, the only way now to stop this happening is to ban all of it, serious sentances for touching the stuff, but its not going to happen, its too late, its going to get a whole lot worse too, more beheadings etc, mental health problems all caused with that stuff, I was going to say god help us, But thats not going to happen either,

onelegnofeet
19-06-2011, 11:39
Ignore Me ..............i just want to say i thinks its great how candid people can be ,so for that i applaud you ."Why are there no intresting topics on the forum "well read on imo there are two going on at the moment that involves us all.............
And not ganging up on Cainaries ,i have 3 step sons ,1 daughter and a son of my own ..........thankfully they do seem to listen to me (possibly i can shout louder BIG GOB and all that )but i too am of the opinion its the individual rather then which parents bring them up etc ........
Ignore me ...........you can remove to OT

Jackie
19-06-2011, 12:18
I don't think it is ALL about how they are brought up, I am sure the majority of kids are taught the difference between right and wrong it just depends whether they take it on board, although constant reminders about the effects of drugs etc does no harm. As a mother of three I always warned all of my kids about the dangers of drugs, i.e. never leave your drink to go to the loo, never accept any medication from anyone, even if it is for a headache and so on. Two of my three children had their drinks spiked, my son at the age of 23 in the UK and my daughter at the age of 19 here in Tenerife, thankfully their friends were there to take care of them. On occasions the bar staff are involved in the spiking so all the warnings in the world about not leaving your drinks etc can be irrelevant.

Thankfully all three of my kids have never been involved in the drug scene and apart from them all admitting to having a cigarette to 'try it' when younger none of them smoke either. Now is this due to the way I brought them up, or down to their personal choice, I don't know. One of my youngest sons (19) friends in the UK unfortunately lost his life last weekend and drugs were involved. Now this boy was one of the nicest boys you could wish to meet with very respectable parents, he was brought up in a loving home and never had any problems. On talking to my son he has told me that on his many visits back to the UK this lad was always taking drugs 'socially', he has also told me of another lad and how he takes them 'socially'. The parents of the second lad are friends of mine and we have known each other for about 15 years. Again knowing the lads parents I know this is not how they brought him up and at this moment I am really in a dilema whether to tell them. How do you tell someone their son is taking drugs??

with cheese
19-06-2011, 13:23
Two foster children from a drug and drink related background, both siblings. Situation that is very true and is a case study used.
Both kids addicted to alcohol and drugs at a very young age, sexual;ly abused and mentally and physically tortured.
Placed in various foster homes until a full care order is established and the fact is also established that they can't live with either parent.
These 2 boys are then placed in a permanent placement where they have stability. They are taught all the things they should about drugs but know most of it already. The big thing here is they are taught sensible use and the issues with not using sensibly.
I know many are going to say sensible use, they are not going to give it up just like that and nor can they.
Lead safe, stay safe is the message, eventually they find due to this they are wanting to stop using, some of the dangers they are actually scared of have diminished and other things happen.
Before leaving school they end up getting college placements, buying the carers flowers etc and keeping spare time jobs down. They then end in college with top grades, very respectable.
The third brother, who for other reasons could not be placed in the same care, (age, mental stability etc), ended up going back to mum at 18 and becoming a heroine addict and life is ruined.

Surely people can see why the likes of me are trained to lead safe.

cainaries
19-06-2011, 13:32
Several of you have commented on what I wrote. Just wanted to add that my stepson seemed so angry, wanting to hit out at the world and doing all the things we asked him not to do. So all I had wondered was if his parents had been happy together and stayed together maybe he wouldn't have had all that anger.

onelegnofeet
19-06-2011, 14:15
His anger could just have been the same imo ,but unless he has 100% said to you its because of ........................then you have done your best .Believe when i say i was an angry lad the navy put an end to it ,if i am totally honest i never really knew why

cainaries
19-06-2011, 15:10
His anger could just have been the same imo ,but unless he has 100% said to you its because of ........................then you have done your best .Believe when i say i was an angry lad the navy put an end to it ,if i am totally honest i never really knew why
Kind of you to say but I know I didn't do my best. I've said that to him and he has said that he behaved like a total idiot so air has been cleared and all is forgiven which is a really nice place to be. I was an angry teenager as well so I had a lot of sympathy with him but he was living in my house and not keeping my rules ... so glad this is all behind me now.

PS to Jackie - personally I think you should tell your friends that their son is taking drugs. It won't be an easy conversation but you may find out that they know but just don't want to talk about it or do anything about it.

Jackie
19-06-2011, 15:33
Kind of you to say but I know I didn't do my best. I've said that to him and he has said that he behaved like a total idiot so air has been cleared and all is forgiven which is a really nice place to be. I was an angry teenager as well so I had a lot of sympathy with him but he was living in my house and not keeping my rules ... so glad this is all behind me now.

PS to Jackie - personally I think you should tell your friends that their son is taking drugs. It won't be an easy conversation but you may find out that they know but just don't want to talk about it or do anything about it.

Me too Canaries but just trying to work out in my head how to 'slip' something like that into a conversation. Also if they don't know are they really going to take kindly to me telling them when I live thousands of miles away and know more about what their son is up to than they do???

Canaries all we can do as parents is our best, sometimes kids will take our advise on board and unfortunately sometimes they won't because in their eyes 'they know best'. How many people when they have children are given a book of instructions? none... yet our washing machines, coffee makers, cars etc all come with manuals on how to get the best out of them :)

with cheese
19-06-2011, 15:48
Cainaries we all parent in different ways.We all grow up in different ways, we can only give guidance, hence my lead safe. If we can't keep them on the track we want in an ever changing world, we can at least give them guidance on how to stay safe being wrong.
As you can see from your experience it has worked out OK, which is great and means that even though you feel you have messed up, you haven't. Maybe there were some gliches but rocky roads some times lead to riches, you have got yours now.