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xxlauraxx
22-04-2014, 16:57
HI Please help.

3 years ago the father of my kids left us and went back to UK. At first he sent a little money but after 3 months stopped. he hasnt been to visit them or contact them since. Out of the blue he contacted me through a law consultancy in the UK. i agreed to him contacting the kids on a weekly basis and to have access when it was the school holidays if he sent maintenance for the kids (that makes me sound money grabbing which im not i just dont see why we should be struggling when he could send money to help bring them up as he does nothing else).
he has contacted them but hasnt visited in the school holidays he has however decided that hes coming over in a few weeks.

id like to know what the law is out here with what his/our legal rights are. has anyone been through this that can help. i cant afford a solicitor as im a single mum of 2 so advise would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in Advance.

timmylish
23-04-2014, 02:42
I can advise you of one very serious mistake parties of both sides regularly make and that is there is no connection, in law, between access and maintenance payments (or lack thereof). That is to say irrespective of whether he has been paying you support he is nevertheless entitled to see the kids unless there is any possibility of the children being harmed in any way. I,m sorry if this seems very unfair but it is the situation. If there was a court order in respect of both matters and you withheld access the court could instruct the police to assist in executing access orders, however if he failed to pay you aliment as ordered it is considered non payment as a civil matter (debt). Now, having worked in the legal game in Scotland and myself had exactly the same problem I have seen it from both sides. Please, please try to get the kids father to talk to you and get him to understand that his not paying you assistance for the kids it is they who ultimately suffer and not you. Make him understand! My very best wishes and hope you get some progress in all of this.

Balcony
23-04-2014, 17:10
:sleeping:The husband has a responsibility towards the children and that doesn't mean just buying them a card for birthdays/Christmas, or seeing them now and then - no doubt which all will enjoy. Sometimes, however, the matter of 'responsibility' has to be registered in law, but best avoided. So, it is important to establish contact and talk this through, ideally, with a mediator present, who can keep you both on track. Honesty and agreement are so important.

TenerifeTeddy
23-04-2014, 17:34
You haven't said if you were divorced, but in that situation then child custody/access is normally settled by the court when the divorce proceedings go through. Or at least they were when I was in that situation some 20 years ago.