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Margaretta
11-07-2011, 19:53
Yes OK. This is not appealing to my usual love of humour but very recently we have had emergency calls from two different friends whose elderly parents had died just before weekends and they really didn't know what to do. If you are ever in this distressing situation a few basic pointers may be helpful. I've been through this three times in recent years and have no brothers or sisters so muddled through the first time. Hubby helped a lot but at work much of the time. Not easy when you are distressed and not thinking straight.

Every circumstance is different but for many of us it's elderly members of the family who leave us first. I'm not cold here but honestly trying to be practical. It really helps to focus on things which have to be done.

First of all you feel helpless because it takes a couple of days for the hospital to issue a certificate of proof and you can't do the official stuff until then so here's some 'in-between' advice to take or leave.

Take some time off. you'll need it!!

After it happens try as soon as possible to get to the person's house and make sure it is very secure. Burglary often happens after a death. Tell a trusted neighbour to keep an eye open but not too many people straight away. Local rumours soon spread.

Take away anything of real value such as jewellery, ornaments and paperwork as far as possible and tell the neighbour you are doing this. You can also tell the people you phone who need to know and say that you will return it when the sorting is to be done. I think that respecting their property and keeping it secure is also respecting the person who has died.

Keep busy and grieve later. You don't want things to do hanging on for a long time after the demise as it becomes more difficult and upsetting as time goes by.

The telephone calls. Tell as many people as you can by phone and take email addresses so that you can send the details of the funeral en masse at a later date. Beware of how you tell the elderly...they are easily shocked and to them it feels like a countdown!

Phone insurance companies and banks to tell them about the deceased and ask what will be required to sort the claim.
Services e.g. carers, doctor, nurse, milkman, Council Tax, Department for Work and Pensions, hairdresser (who may visit the house) TV Rental? library, BT, newspaper delivery, Premium Bonds, home help, council?...who may give you two weeks to clear the property after which you would pay the full rent for each week you stay.

Phone for any loaned medical equipment to be taken back and ask if any which has been purchased can be of use. The Loan Equipment companies usually know where good items could be best used.

Change the postal address for the deceased's mail.

Leave the gas, water and electricity notifications for a week as you don't want to be cut off whilst clearing the house.

Decide how the funeral is to be paid: immediately by family or after the settlement of the insurance? The funeral director will ask this. Discuss funeral options with interested parties: burial or cremation, church, chapel or not, flowers or/ and donations? Which was the persons favourite charity? How many cars? We've found that nowadays many people would prefer to use their own so just one for the hearse perhaps.You need this info for the time you are at the Funeral Directors.

Is there evidence i.e. ownership certificate of a grave or a family grave where the person wished to be buried? Find it to take to the funeral director.

A will is a big help. Make at least five photocopies if you have one.

Make a list of any very special friends or helpers of the deceased who might appreciate a little memento at the funeral or later.

The hospital will have made an appointment for you to collect the little certificate and another to go to collect the Death Certificate. We had six printed and used them all for official business later.

Try to make the funeral arrangements after this and take the will, cemetery permit if there is one, and the death certificate. The funeral people are very helpful and will make all necessary calls referring to the arrangements. If in a church, do you want an organist and flower arranger? Have an idea ready about when and at what time you want the funeral or cremation. Be practical: if old aunty Mary is coming 100 miles she won't make it through the early morning rush hour for 9:30a.m!

When you've got the basics of the funeral sorted send a group email and ask who wants a map. Elderly people have elderly friends who don't all master satnavs, so delegate a family member to take care of this aspect. It would give a younger one something to do and make them feel involved. Let people know the deceased's favourite charities and address or colours for flowers and the phone number and address of your local florist who will usually take credit or debit card details..

Brainstorm recollections with family about the deceased to help with the speech/ speeches. The crematorium will have any music you require. An organist will play most but some priests wil only have religious music in church. For extra ideas seek out 'Funeral speeches and music' on the internet.

Decide on the venue and catering for after the funeral. Don't take on more than you can manage at this emotional time. Perhaps use the Church or Village hall, a pub, your own home and have the buffet catered from a local store. I think it's a big mistake to use the house of the deceased because it delays the clearing and is even more sad. It could also create disharmony about the deceased's possessions.

Clearing a house.

What a horrible, sad job. Buy a plastic box with a lid for little personal mementoes: glasses, pen, special books, a favourite brooch or tiepin, diaries. In that way you won't keep too much which you honestly won't want to deal with in later life. These small items can be sealed and stored until you feel able to look at them.
I think the only way is to be practical and if possible to help others. I suggest photographing every aspect of the house and possessions before you start to move them.

Choose a private area to put the ornaments, furniture, specific inherited items and artefacts that the family really want. They can be taken away as and when.
Put aside items which will be given as mementoes to the deceased's friends and helpers.

Now for the things which are left which may be of use to others.

Put aside items for auction.

Charities will take furniture but only that which has the fire-retardant labels.

Students love kitchen equipment.

Try the local Retirement home for craft items such as wool.

Unwanted garden equipment to local allotment keepers or neighbours who like gardening.

Anyone setting up home, family or friends, may like the newish electrical equipment.

Have some mid-way fun with a boot fair!

Donate books but take the older ones to check out on Ebay and Amazon. They may be worth more than you think.

Loads of outlets to keep you busy. Don't forget to arrange for the amenities to be turned off and final bills to be sent.


Adrenalin will be high at this time but after the funeral, exhaustion sets in.
May I suggest you then book your holiday to Tenerife for a complete rest???

cainaries
11-07-2011, 21:36
And please please please remember to arrange for pets to be rehomed and loved. When a neighbour of ours died, her family just came round and bolted the cat flap shut having thrown out the cat. She adored her cat and would have been furious with them.

slodgedad
11-07-2011, 21:56
Yes OK. This is not appealing to my usual love of humour but very recently we have had emergency calls from two different friends whose elderly parents had died just before weekends and they really didn't know what to do. If you are ever in this distressing situation a few basic pointers may be helpful. I've been through this three times in recent years and have no brothers or sisters so muddled through the first time. Hubby helped a lot but at work much of the time. Not easy when you are distressed and not thinking straight.

Every circumstance is different but for many of us it's elderly members of the family who leave us first. I'm not cold here but honestly trying to be practical. It really helps to focus on things which have to be done.

First of all you feel helpless because it takes a couple of days for the hospital to issue a certificate of proof and you can't do the official stuff until then so here's some 'in-between' advice to take or leave.

Take some time off. you'll need it!!

After it happens try as soon as possible to get to the person's house and make sure it is very secure. Burglary often happens after a death. Tell a trusted neighbour to keep an eye open but not too many people straight away. Local rumours soon spread.

Take away anything of real value such as jewellery, ornaments and paperwork as far as possible and tell the neighbour you are doing this. You can also tell the people you phone who need to know and say that you will return it when the sorting is to be done. I think that respecting their property and keeping it secure is also respecting the person who has died.

Keep busy and grieve later. You don't want things to do hanging on for a long time after the demise as it becomes more difficult and upsetting as time goes by.

The telephone calls. Tell as many people as you can by phone and take email addresses so that you can send the details of the funeral en masse at a later date. Beware of how you tell the elderly...they are easily shocked and to them it feels like a countdown!

Phone insurance companies and banks to tell them about the deceased and ask what will be required to sort the claim.
Services e.g. carers, doctor, nurse, milkman, Department for Work and Pensions, hairdresser (who may visit the house) TV Rental? library, BT, newspaper delivery, Premium Bonds, home help, council?...who give you two weeks to clear the property after which you would pay the full rent for each week you stay.

Phone for any loaned medical equipment to be taken back and ask if any which has been purchased can be of use. The Loan Equipment companies usually know where good items could be best used.

Change the postal address for the deceased's mail.

Leave the gas, water and electricity notifications for a week as you don't want to be cut off whilst clearing the house.

Decide how the funeral is to be paid: immediately by family or after the settlement of the insurance? The funeral director will ask this. Discuss funeral options with interested parties: burial or cremation, church, chapel or not, flowers or/ and donations? Which was the persons favourite charity? You need this info for the time you are at the Funeral Directors.

Is there evidence i.e. ownership certificate of a grave or a family grave where the person wished to be buried? Find it to take to the funeral director.

A will is a big help. Make at least five photocopies if you have one.

Make a list of any very special friends or helpers of the deceased who might appreciate a little memento at the funeral or later.

The hospital will have made an appointment for you to collect the little certificate and another to go to collect the Death Certificate. We had six printed and used them all for official business later.

Try to make the funeral arrangements after this and take the will, cemetery permit if there is one, and the death certificate. The funeral people are very helpful and will make all necessary calls referring to the arrangements. If in a church, do you want an organist and flower arranger? Have an idea ready about when and at what time you want the funeral or cremation. Be practical: if old aunty Mary is coming 100 miles she won't make it through the early morning rush hour for 9:30a.m!

When you've got the basics of the funeral sorted send a group email and ask who wants a map. Elderly people have elderly friends who don't all master satnavs, so delegate a family member to take care of this aspect. It would give a younger one something to do and make them feel involved. Let people know the deceased's favourite charities or colours for flowers.

Brainstorm recollections with family about the deceased to help with the speech/ speeches. The crematorium will have any music you require. An organist will play most but some priests will only have religious music in church. For extra ideas seek out 'Funeral speeches and music' on the internet.

Decide on the venue and catering for after the funeral. Don't take on more than you can manage at this emotional time. Perhaps use the Church or Village hall, a pub, your own home and have the buffet catered from a local store. I think it's a big mistake to use the house of the deceased because it delays the clearing and is even more sad. It could also create disharmony about the deceased's possessions.

Clearing a house.

What a horrible, sad job. Buy a plastic box with a lid for little personal mementoes: glasses, pen, special books, a favourite brooch or tiepin, diaries. In that way you won't keep too much which you honestly won't want to deal with in later life. These small items can be sealed and stored until you feel able to look at them.
I think the only way is to be practical and if possible to help others. I suggest photographing every aspect of the house and possessions before you start to move them.

Choose a private area to put the ornaments, furniture, specific inherited items and artefacts that the family really want. They can be taken away as and when.
Put aside items which will be given as mementoes to the deceased's friends and helpers.

Now for the things which are left which may be of use to others.

Put aside items for auction.

Charities will take furniture but only that which has the fire-retardant labels.

Students love kitchen equipment.

Try the local Retirement home for craft items such as wool.

Unwanted garden equipment to local allotment keepers or neighbours who like gardening.

Anyone setting up home, family or friends, may like the newish electrical equipment.

Have some mid-way fun with a boot fair!

Donate books but take the older ones to check out on Ebay and Amazon. They may be worth more than you think.

Loads of outlets to keep you busy. Don't forget to arrange for the amenities to be turned off and final bills to be sent.


Adrenalin will be high at this time but after the funeral, exhaustion sets in.
May I suggest you then book your holiday to Tenerife for a complete rest???

What a fabulously informative post. Thanks.

I've stickied it.

Susief
11-07-2011, 22:08
What a great post Margaretta, something thankfully I have never had to deal with but your tips are good practical ones.

Margaretta
11-07-2011, 22:18
Oh well done Cainaries! Forgot that and probably much more.
Thank you Slodgedad. My first ever 'sticky'. I hope no-one needs this information in the foreseeable future but it may make things easier for someone one day.

One sad thing I really ought to add is that, before arranging the funeral, try to decide upon the clothes you want the person to wear and any jewellery etc. I was shocked and upset that leather shoes are not allowed for a cremation. Soft slippers are OK. I suggest that the clothes are taken along when arranging the funeral to prevent a rather distressing visit later or in case desired clothes are lost to a Charity Shop.

lesbroz
11-07-2011, 22:22
Excellent post Margaretta. Many Thanks.

dede
11-07-2011, 22:36
A very good thread Margaretta, its quite a taboo subject but definatley a situation that most people will find themselves in sometime in their life, so well done to you.

slodgedad
11-07-2011, 23:08
A very good thread Margaretta, its quite a taboo subject but definatley a situation that most people will find themselves in sometime in their life, so well done to you.

Totally agree. Always a taboo subject.

That's why I think this thread is so good.

If only one in a hundred read this and of them half a dozen take it in it could save a lot of heartache along the way.

At times like this no one is functioning properly, however hard they may be.

warmwind
11-07-2011, 23:12
A very good post Margaretta I have had to go through this twice as I was named as the executor. I have two sisters but they didn't help me.

The first time I did most of the work with the help of a solicitor, the second time I employed a solicitor who took power of attorney as I was and am living in Tenerife. The Solictor wasn't cheap but it saved me the cost and time of many trips back and forth from the UK, so it equaled out in the end financially and I didn't have the distress of being away from my husband in Tenerife when I needed emotional support.

Bob
11-07-2011, 23:32
this is an excellent post for somebody in the Uk but for a death in the Canaries it will involves different priorities.

slodgedad
11-07-2011, 23:37
this is an excellent post for somebody in the Uk but for a death in the Canaries it will involves different priorities.

But a lot of the basic security essentials and forgotten common sense tips are still useful wherever you may be,

Bob
11-07-2011, 23:46
But a lot of the basic security essentials and forgotten common sense tips are still useful wherever you may be,

totally agree but i felt i had to make this point

Margaretta
11-07-2011, 23:53
Hi Funderground. the thread is very basic and I certainly didn't want to get into the intricasies of bank accounts etc. that is so very individual. But I have known people whose partner or relative has died in Tenerife and it would be so helpful if there were another thread here to just give some fundamentals of what to do and think about in that case.

Warmwind. The same happened to you as to me but I am not a Tenerife resident so was able to go back and deal with one of the situations. It may be worth pointing out that whereas Power of Attorney was not too expensive (under Ģ100) a few years ago, that and making a will is now over Ģ1000. It is now called Enduring Power of Attorney (maybe because you have to endure a large bill? :whistle:) but worth it if you live abroad.

MaxineC
12-07-2011, 00:04
Thank you Margaretta, excellent advice... but it brought a tear or two to my eye ;)

Bob
12-07-2011, 00:26
Hi Funderground. the thread is very basic and I certainly didn't want to get into the intricasies of bank accounts etc. that is so very individual. But I have known people whose partner or relative has died in Tenerife and it would be so helpful if there were another thread here to just give some fundamentals of what to do and think about in that case.

caretenerife would be the person to talk to for advice, she is very professional and very understanding.

Skeggy
12-07-2011, 06:51
Thank you Margaretta,
I will print your very informative post and place it with my will and other request's I am sure that it will be much appreciated when the time comes.

warmwind
12-07-2011, 09:14
this is an excellent post for somebody in the Uk but for a death in the Canaries it will involves different priorities.

True things are probably different with the paper work in Tenerife, but many of us on the forum ( who live in Tenerife) have elderly parents relatives still living in UK so Margaretta's post is applicable.

Thanks for taking the time to write this information Margaretta.

cainaries
12-07-2011, 10:46
If anyone who has had a close relative die in Tenerife could bear to write a post similar to Margaretta's I, for one, would find it hugely re-assuring. OH and I have heard such awful stories of frozen bank accounts combined with the risk of apparently distant relatives suddenly able to claim on an estate under Spanish law and no-one we've found to ask for advice has yet been able to tell us how to avoid these problems. I have heard that here in Spain you need to ask for an 'International' Death Certificate if the newly deceased has assets outside Spain. However, it also seems that the UK don't issue these as we heard of a Spanish wife whose English husband had died in England and she had no problems in England as everything passed to her quite smoothly but lots of problems in Spain over her inheritance of their Spanish property because her stepchildren immediately claimed it as their inheritance and moved into the house.

Margaretta
14-07-2011, 16:11
I'm not intending to bump this up but two things have occurred to me since writing this.
A friend told me that you can go to the Funeral parlour immediately after a death has occurred to make a 'reservation' and give details for the funeral until you have the documents to confirm the death.
Personally I would rather wait the couple of days for the documents and get the family consultations, planning, outfit for the deceased and my own thoughts in order as the funeral directors ask all the above questions and you only have to keep going back to them if your ideas are not clear, which is quite distressing.
Secondly, I had a lot of angst after all the keepers, bequests and giveaways were sorted. My elderly family had collected a lot of china and interesting books which meant a lot to me too. We had no more room and the items didn't fit in with a more modern decor. We had also run out of storage room but much of the stuff was of sentimental value. (The small items to keep were in the plastic box in my house.) There were also many, many photo albums and loose photos which couldn't be thrown away and I couldn't bring myself to sort them at the time. I was at a loss and then a friend had a really good idea: auction the unwanted items and buy a bookcase in memoriam to hold all the albums and photos. I photographed the items for sale as a souvenir and put them in an auction. With the profits I bought a big set of shelves. It looks good and after a year I'm beginning to enjoy the photos and catalogue them and all the pleasant memories are taking over.

Hope someone will type what to do in Tenerife....I haven't a clue!!!

rosemary
14-07-2011, 18:29
this is an excellent post for somebody in the Uk but for a death in the Canaries it will involves different priorities.
I agree. Anyone got a similar posting for us residents in the island? Also re what clothes to wear for the deceased. Remember the funeral director will offer a suitable shroud, very simple and appropriate and far less stressful than what to choose.

Margaretta
14-07-2011, 19:16
Yes Rosemary, the clothes or shroud are a matter of personal choice as is much of ideas above. Little details need some thought and consultation which is why I would advise a day or so after the demise of the person before arranging the funeral.

Young people are often more deeply affected than we would think and keeping them busy and involved is a good idea. Perhaps to design the order of service or choosing an appropriate photograph of the deceased to print would make them feel they are doing their part too. I know young people who like to participate in the 'service' through a poem, reading or reminiscences. Don't forget to ask them even if they decline.

Goforgold
14-07-2011, 19:35
Oh well done Cainaries! Forgot that and probably much more.
Thank you Slodgedad. My first ever 'sticky'. I hope no-one needs this information in the foreseeable future but it may make things easier for someone one day.

One sad thing I really ought to add is that, before arranging the funeral, try to decide upon the clothes you want the person to wear and any jewellery etc. I was shocked and upset that leather shoes are not allowed for a cremation. Soft slippers are OK. I suggest that the clothes are taken along when arranging the funeral to prevent a rather distressing visit later or in case desired clothes are lost to a Charity Shop.

Thank you for the information Margaretta.

Also a point worth mentioning is that you don't have to have a funeral if you don't want one. It is surprising how many people are not aware you have this choice and if this is your preference it's worth making your nearest and dearest aware of what you want before you go.

Margaretta
14-07-2011, 19:47
Yes GFG. I'm already writing about my chocoholic funeral in Westminster Abbey with the Rolling Stones. As long as some ashes are scattered on Teide........
Aaaaargh! They may cause a calima!!!
Recently I've known of someone in my family buried at sea, another in a wicker, biodegradeable coffin then buried in the garden, a motorbike instead of a traditional hearse, a white Rolls, coffin and flowers. Being a Londoner, there is something quite dignified about the black carriage and four black, plumed horses. But then Im a cockney!
Seriously, it's a good idea to put down your favourite music, verses etc or how you want the whole thing conducted, especially if it is a different sort of ceremony.Easy to get ideas from the internet. Good planning and making a will is considerate towards your family when they are sad.

Goforgold
14-07-2011, 19:56
Yes GFG. I'm already writing about my chocoholic funeral in Westminster Abbey with the Rolling Stones. As long as some ashes are scattered on Teide........
Aaaaargh! They may cause a calima!!!
Recently I've known of someone in my family buried at sea, another in a wicker, biodegradeable coffin then buried in the garden, a motorbike instead of a traditional hearse, a white Rolls, coffin and flowers. Being a Londoner, there is something quite dignified about the black carriage and four black, plumed horses. But then Im a cockney!
Seriously, it's a good idea to put down your favourite music, verses etc or how you want the whole thing conducted, especially if it is a different sort of ceremony.Easy to get ideas from the internet. Good planning and making a will is considerate towards your family when they are sad.

I like the sound of the chocoholic one !! :)

Three of our family members had nothing at all and that's what everyone wanted, including them of course. We didn't want to remember seeing them for the last time in a coffin and also having to go through the ordeal of the day. That is my wish and my OH's too. It just works for us.

rosemary
14-07-2011, 20:09
I like the sound of the chocoholic one !! :)

Three of our family members had nothing at all and that's what everyone wanted, including them of course. We didn't want to remember seeing them for the last time in a coffin and also having to go through the ordeal of the day. That is my wish and my OH's too. It just works for us.

Please could you explain about the not having a funeral idea? What exactly happens? Do you just say your own goodbyes and then the deceased is take away and cremated or buried without ceremony?

Zara
14-07-2011, 20:20
I decided to purchase a Funeral Plan when I heard about the complications that are involved if you die in Tenerife.

There is what is called the 24 Hour Window. The civil registry must be notified within 24 hours using specific paperwork and procedures, including providing not only the death certificate but the persons ID and their wishes as to whether they should be cremated or buried. If you donīt do this the authorities will take charge and you can be buried/cremated before your family have a chance to arrange flights.

By taking out the Funeral Plan,( I purchased mine 6 years ago and although the price of funerals has risen there is no additional cost involved), they arrange a funeral director, sort out all paperwork, help with wills and provide official translation of death certificate for UK insurance companies who may not accept a Spanish certificate They also arrange to delay any burial for a few days giving family a chance to attend.

Goforgold
14-07-2011, 20:22
Please could you explain about the not having a funeral idea? What exactly happens? Do you just say your own goodbyes and then the deceased is take away and cremated or buried without ceremony?

Mum and dad both died in hospital and I can't remember if we had to arrange for them to be taken to the crematorium. I should think we would have had to. We didn't know on what days they were taken and this suited all the family not knowing. Not being religious or believing in an afterlife we were all relieved that we didn't have to endure any further pain than we were already going through.

warbey
14-07-2011, 20:24
We moved House last Year after 40 odd Years
We went from a 3 Bedroom to a One and a bit bedrooms.
That I'm sure, helped Me understand a bit about House clearing.
If there is a Will, where is it..?
If its sudden there may be a Post Mortem too, so Bodies arent always released until this is completed.

cainaries
14-07-2011, 20:45
I decided to purchase a Funeral Plan when I heard about the complications that are involved if you die in Tenerife.

There is what is called the 24 Hour Window. The civil registry must be notified within 24 hours using specific paperwork and procedures, including providing not only the death certificate but the persons ID and their wishes as to whether they should be cremated or buried. If you donīt do this the authorities will take charge and you can be buried/cremated before your family have a chance to arrange flights.

By taking out the Funeral Plan,( I purchased mine 6 years ago and although the price of funerals has risen there is no additional cost involved), they arrange a funeral director, sort out all paperwork, help with wills and provide official translation of death certificate for UK insurance companies who may not accept a Spanish certificate They also arrange to delay any burial for a few days giving family a chance to attend.

Zara - this is very interesting, could you possibly tell us the name of the company you arranged all this with? Or pm me? OH keeps saying he just wants to be taken off in a black bin bag and left at the tip but I don't think this is technically possible much as I would like to respect his wishes.

Anyone know if you can not have a funeral in the Canaries. GFG your posts on this are very interesting, thank you.

Zara
14-07-2011, 21:03
Zara - this is very interesting, could you possibly tell us the name of the company you arranged all this with? Or pm me? OH keeps saying he just wants to be taken off in a black bin bag and left at the tip but I don't think this is technically possible much as I would like to respect his wishes.

Anyone know if you can not have a funeral in the Canaries. GFG your posts on this are very interesting, thank you.

It is Avalon, based in the UK with reps here in Tenerife. I carry a credit-type card that gives my plan number, Funeral Director contact details, next of kin in the UK, as well as the contact for the company, so if I had an accident and was away from home anyone looking for ID would see the card and know who to contact and they will do the rest. They have several levels of plan you can choose from.

Goforgold
14-07-2011, 21:17
Zara - this is very interesting, could you possibly tell us the name of the company you arranged all this with? Or pm me? OH keeps saying he just wants to be taken off in a black bin bag and left at the tip but I don't think this is technically possible much as I would like to respect his wishes.

Anyone know if you can not have a funeral in the Canaries. GFG your posts on this are very interesting, thank

you.

A bin bag would be better but unfortunately not possible!! We still have to pay for something to put ourselves in and the fire at the end and I've just remembered also the transport. Still not a cheap option, not that we do it this way to save money, it is to save further pain.

cainaries
14-07-2011, 22:02
A bin bag would be better but unfortunately not possible!! We still have to pay for something to put ourselves in and the fire at the end and I've just remembered also the transport. Still not a cheap option, not that we do it this way to save money, it is to save further pain.
Thanks, GFG. We would like to go the bin bag route to save on everything. Going back to Margaretta's first post OH and I both know funerals are expensive AND the funeral directors etc. get the relatives at their weakest. Unless the deceased has said 'for heaven's sake don't waste any money on my funeral' .. how do you say .. cheapest coffin, cheapest funeral, cheapest etc etc .. no flowers, waste of money. You don't, you're upset and sad and you feel the least you can do is put on a decent funeral.

Bazz
14-07-2011, 22:13
Just while we're on the subject of dying ............ make sure you spend a good bit of your money before you go, so there's not a big amount left for the freeloaders! :lol::lol::)

Goforgold
14-07-2011, 22:18
Thanks, GFG. We would like to go the bin bag route to save on everything. Going back to Margaretta's first post OH and I both know funerals are expensive AND the funeral directors etc. get the relatives at their weakest. Unless the deceased has said 'for heaven's sake don't waste any money on my funeral' .. how do you say .. cheapest coffin, cheapest funeral, cheapest etc etc .. no flowers, waste of money. You don't, you're upset and sad and you feel the least you can do is put on a decent funeral.

If you don't have a funeral you don't have to. :)

cainaries
14-07-2011, 22:22
If you don't have a funeral you don't have to. :)

This is exactly the point and can .. hopefully be written into my not-funeral plan.

Goforgold
14-07-2011, 22:33
This is exactly the point and can .. hopefully be written into my not-funeral plan.

After these posts on the subject I checked with the OH earlier on to make sure he doesn't do a funeral for me and to make sure he is ok with me not having one. It's a subject he doesn't like to talk about as he says he can't stand the thought of me not being around - I will remind him of that when we have our next biggie!!! :)

cainaries
14-07-2011, 22:43
After these posts on the subject I checked with the OH earlier on to make sure he doesn't do a funeral for me and to make sure he is ok with me not having one. It's a subject he doesn't like to talk about as he says he can't stand the thought of me not being around - I will remind him of that when we have our next biggie!!! :)
AAAhh, bless ... I come from a rather odd family, I think, where we do talk about these things and like to have everything clearly set out. This is probably because there are so many fallings-out that those of us who still talk to one another want to make absolutely sure that the ones we've cut off have no chance at all on getting their sticky mitts on anything.

Margaretta
14-07-2011, 23:04
This is revealing so many different ideas about funerals and maybe it emphasises the importance of having your wishes written and copied now so they they are easily found and fulfilled when the time comes?:)

Zara. I was a bit concerned about the fact that if a person 'pops their clogs' in Tenerife they may be quickly dispatched and interred before the relatives have time to think about it!! Tut, Tut! All those plans for my great, grand and magnificent exit will be ruined! :rolleyes::cool:

Seriously, does this apply to non-residents and is it worth them having a Funeral Bond in case they are...... hastily removed?

Margaretta
14-03-2012, 20:44
Something which may be helpful to add to this thread. 20 years ago my father and my friend's father died within months of each other. They both had gravestones with black inscriptions and there was room left underneath each one at the request of our mothers. My friend's Mum died a couple of years later. Her inscription was added. After some years we noticed that my friend's Mum's inscription had really faded and peeled whereas her father's was totally intact. Apparently the applications are very different so do check with the stonemason that you have the correct sort of lettering. It is quiite an expensive business!

canarybird
21-05-2012, 11:06
I can confirm that a funeral ceremony or special clothing is an option and not necessary here in Tenerife, if one wishes not to have them.
I recently handled a death and cremation and can vouch for the wonderful service of a funeral company representative who came with the doctor who signed the death certificate at the home of the deceased.

All was handled with the utmost sensitivity and discretion, assuring the bereaved family that he would take care of everything, which he did, including the immediate removal of the deceased to the funeral home.

The cremation took place two days later in Sta. Cruz without family or ceremony and the ashes returned to the family in an urn four days after the death.

Total cost including the payment for the doctor, transport, cremation, urn and international death certificates (three originals) was 3,000 Euros.

If anyone would like the name of the funeral service...in Puerto de la Cruz... and the representative, please PM me and I will give the name and phone number.

Canarybird

ddoyle
21-05-2012, 20:18
I would like to be cremated when I go, I have two steel bolts in my right ankle and wonder if this will cause a problem with cremation. Does anyone have any info, regarding this type of situation.

essexeddie
31-03-2013, 21:05
I was hoping it was about the Canaries as info is a bit scant.

Suej
31-03-2013, 21:37
I was hoping it was about the Canaries as info is a bit scant.

have a look at this website!If your antivirus blocks it I'm sure someone on here will give you their phone number!
http://www.diana-mcglone.com/

Andrzej
01-04-2013, 19:29
I have just come across this thread.......Thought this may me of use to all.....when my previous partner died over 6 years ago, he made a will out over 35 years previously that was kept at the solicitors. We had a photocopy at home. As it happened the solicitor went "bump" and the photocopy I had was invalid because it was not "certified as the true copy of the original" on each page. Eventually, I did manage to track down who held the original (valid) copy, thanks to the Law Society in London. Two weeks ago, I changed my will and insisted that the copy that I keep at home is "certified" ...even though I was told by the solicitor that there was no need! I reminded them of the problem from 6 years back!
I have also stated in my will.(my current partner and family and executors have been advised) .........to be cremated wherever I die at the time.......to prevent extra costs of repatriation to the UK (after all it will be cheaper for them to fly out than send my body home!). My will also states that my wish is for my ashes to be buried in my parents grave in Leicester.(stated the grave no etc.)

As a boy scout in my teens.(BE PREPARED)........I hope to be around for a few more years!

Margaretta
01-04-2013, 22:00
David, it would be great if your answer from Diana McGlone's site were published here. Haha! there are so many people with metal 'bits and pieces' that your question is very relevant.

Andrzej, who actually certified the will copy? Was it the solicitor? Was a reason given why the copy should be certified or was it because you couldn't locate the original.

Did you know that it is possible to ringfence a percentage of your assets? This has to be officially done by a will-writing service or solicitor but it guarantees some money for your beneficiaries rather than it all being swallowed up by a nursing home/care.

melm
02-04-2013, 18:54
I would like to be cremated when I go, I have two steel bolts in my right ankle and wonder if this will cause a problem with cremation. Does anyone have any info, regarding this type of situation.

Watched a documentary a few nights ago on cremation and your bolts would seems to be ok. after the cremation they were removed from the ashes. hope this helps.

kingbaker
27-05-2014, 23:38
I would like to be cremated when I go, I have two steel bolts in my right ankle and wonder if this will cause a problem with cremation. Does anyone have any info, regarding this type of situation.

Dont worry...where you're going it'll be hot enough to melt even the steel!! :(:D;)

kingbaker
28-05-2014, 10:58
Watched a documentary a few nights ago on cremation and your bolts would seems to be ok. after the cremation they were removed from the ashes. hope this helps.

I think they recycle them. :p

Malteser Monkey
28-05-2014, 11:16
I think they recycle them. :p

what are you doing man ?:D

kingbaker
28-05-2014, 11:35
I need some drugs!!:p

Malteser Monkey
28-05-2014, 11:41
I need some drugs!!:p

Thought you already had 'em:lol:

essexeddie
28-05-2014, 14:54
I think the bolts need to be taken out before you die :liar:

Malteser Monkey
28-05-2014, 15:47
I think the bolts need to be taken out before you die :liar:

just the title of this thread makes me go what ??

DeeLondon
21-08-2017, 01:04
Great post, and so true about the burglary after a death, happened when my cousin died - people came and robbed the place a few days later