Who will have the last word?

[hackney58]

Hotpots in Lancashire

Horse meat in lasagna!!

[Medman]

Horse meat in lasagna!!

Genesis in the Bible .........

[starling]

Genesis in the Bible .........

Tarts in Bakewell

[hackney58]

Tarts in Bakewell

Tarts in Chapletown

[Medman]

Tarts in Chapletown

Grateful Dead in the mortuary

[starling]

Grateful Dead in the mortuary

30 Seconds to Mars in the Solar System

[Medman]

30 Seconds to Mars in the Solar System

Pulp in the paper mill

[starling]

Pulp in the paper mill

The Shadows in the shade

[Ecky Thump]

The Shadows in the shade

Terrible temper tantrums.

[Medman]

Terrible temper tantrums.

Time you were in the sick mcbay ..... :laugh:

[starling]

Time you were in the sick mcbay ..... :laugh:

..... Sounds like something fishy going on here!

[Medman]

..... Sounds like something fishy going on here!

This always happens on the net !

[starling]

This always happens on the net !

Aw! C'mon..... I draw the line at that.

[Medman]

Aw! C'mon..... I draw the line at that.

You always catch me out :ashamed:

[starling]

You always catch me out :ashamed:

..... And what a catch :spin:

[Medman]

..... And what a catch :spin:

:serenade:"Salmon chanted evening, you may catch a Medman, you may catch a Medman when you cast your net"

[starling]

:serenade:"Salmon chanted evening, you may catch a Medman, you may catch a Medman when you cast your net"

:singing: I know ... a ... Dark ... Secluded Plaice......a plaice ... where ... no ... one knows ... your ... face ...Fernando's Hideaway....

[Medman]

:singing: I know ... a ... Dark ... Secluded Plaice......a plaice ... where ... no ... one knows ... your ... face ...Fernando's Hideaway....

"Eel ave to go"

[starling]

"Eel ave to go"

.....'To an Octopuses Garden'

[Medman]

.....'To an Octopuses Garden'

By Ringo Starfish

[starling]

By Ringo Starfish

... What a load'a codswollap!

[Medman]

By Ringo Starfish


... What a load'a codswollap!

At least give me a fair herring

[starling]

At least give me a fair herring

Ah! Sole creeper.

[Medman]

Ah! Sole creeper.

I'm a dab hand at that

[Santiago]

I'm a dab hand at that

What a load of pollocks!

[Medman]

What a load of pollocks!

I'm losing the plaice

[Santiago]

I'm losing the plaice

Silly old trout ............

[Medman]

Silly old trout ............

For Heaven's hake

[Santiago]

For Heaven's hake

O Koi, that's enough!

[Medman]

O Koi, that's enough!

I'll have to mullet over first

[Santiago]

I'll have to mullet over first

I'll just perch here while you do!

[Medman]

I'll just perch here while you do!

Making a rod for my own back here

[Santiago]

Making a rod for my own back here

Now put that porbeagle down and take him for a walk!

[Medman]

Now put that porbeagle down and take him for a walk!

I sea what you did there

[starling]

I sea what you did there

Go on then ... Get your skates on.

[Medman]

Go on then ... Get your skates on.

I've haddock with you

[starling]

I've haddock with you

Careful.... You might pull a muscle!

[Medman]

Careful.... You might pull a muscle!

Think it must be a ray-action to the gym

[starling]

Think it must be a ray-action to the gym

Mind the Barbels then!

[Medman]

Mind the Barbels then!

Not to mention the roeing machine

[Santiago]

Not to mention the roeing machine

Use that and you'll have to limpet all the way home!!

[Medman]

Thats' a bit of a shellfish attitude

[starling]

Thats' a bit of a shellfish attitude

I'll have to have a pike at that.

[Medman]

I'll have to have a pike at that.

I bait we get hooked on this

[starling]

I bait we get hooked on this

Or get castor way?

[Medman]

Or get castor way?

Between a Rock and a hard Plaice ?

[Santiago]

Between a Rock and a hard Plaice ?

Gosh, I'd krill for a cuppa just now!

[Medman]

Gosh, I'd krill for a cuppa just now!

I might crab one myself

[Santiago]

I might crab one myself

Whelk, that was a good one!

[Medman]

Whelk, that was a good one!

Yip, I'm sturgeon ahead

[starling]

Yip, I'm sturgeon ahead

Hope you have a whale of a time.

[Medman]

Hope you have a whale of a time.

I'll need a bit of schooling first

[Santiago]

Yip, I'm sturgeon ahead

Did you sea horses on the way?

[Medman]

Did you sea horses on the way?

They were a bit fin on the ground

[Santiago]

They were a bit fin on the ground

You must have been fed up to the gills!!!

[Medman]

You must have been fed up to the gills!!!

I hake to this but you're right

[Santiago]

I hake to this but you're right

Don't flounder around, you could get tide up!

[Medman]

Don't flounder around, you could get tide up!

I'm trying to tuna jew's carp

[starling]

I'm trying to tuna jew's carp

You'll need the scales then.

[Medman]

You'll need the scales then.

Tanks for that

[starling]

Tanks for that

:crylaughing: Ha ha... That's a gudgeon

[Santiago]

Tanks for that

Might have to debait that.

[Medman]

Might have to debait that.

I'm not one of your cast offs

[Santiago]

I'm not one of your cast offs

Okay, so I'll just perch here and have a chat with John Dory!

[Sal]

Okay, so I'll just perch here and have a chat with John Dory!

Why's that Santiago? Nobody want to chat with Mrs Cornwall - well Mrs Dorset is here!

- - - - - - - - - - merged double post - - - - - - - - - -

I know - no fish!

[Santiago]

Why's that Santiago? Nobody want to chat with Mrs Cornwall - well Mrs Dorset is here!

- - - - - - - - - - merged double post - - - - - - - - - -

I know - no fish!

Hi Sal, you must have plenty of fish - Poole Harbour is huge. Always happy to chat with you either here or on the public channel.

[Sal]

Hi Sal, you must have plenty of fish - Poole Harbour is huge. Always happy to chat with you either here or on the public channel.

Of course - Poole Harbour is second to Sydney Harbour as the world's biggest natural harbour (and that is debatable). Always ready to support Poole - best town in the south!!! Still drying your washing outdoors?

[Santiago]

Yes, with the sunshine and wind we've had I've done pretty well everything, caravans included! Wind is jolly cold though, I'll be glad when it's Spring.

[Sal]

Yes, with the sunshine and wind we've had I've done pretty well everything, caravans included! Wind is jolly cold though, I'll be glad when it's Spring.

Me too - primroses in flower and cherry tree has lots of buds - please let spring arrive!

[Medman]

Me too - primroses in flower and cherry tree has lots of buds - please let spring arrive!

Zebedee is on his way ..............:spin:

[Santiago]

Zebedee is on his way ..............:spin:

I always preferred Brian!

[Medman]

I always preferred Brian!

He's the Blocks champion, and for a snail he's pretty smart !!

[Santiago]

He's the Blocks champion, and for a snail he's pretty smart !!

Dylan was good too, and I loved Ermintrude!!

[Medman]

Dylan was good too, and I loved Ermintrude!!

Dylan was cool man .......... :smoking::guitar1:

[starling]

Dylan was cool man .......... :smoking::guitar1:

... Can't remember these, guys.... Must have been before my time :whistle:

[Medman]

... Can't remember these, guys.... Must have been before my time :whistle:

Aye, before your bedtime ! :sleeping:

[starling]

Aye, before your bedtime ! :sleeping:

We are the Ovaltine's little girls and boys.

[hackney58]

We are the Ovaltine's little girls and boys.

A very popular nightcap in the 30s, I am told

[starling]

A very popular nightcap in the 30s, I am told

It was probably a pewter tankard of mead in your day eh! :cheeky:

[Medman]

It was probably a pewter tankard of mead in your day eh! :cheeky:

And that was just the chaser

[starling]

And that was just the chaser

Naaaaah... shot :crazy:

[Medman]

Naaaaah... shot :crazy:

Sorry, I forgot you were a hip chick ! .............. :turkey: :wine:

[starling]

Sorry, I forgot you were a hip chick ! .............. :turkey: :wine:

Oh yes! I can still strut my stuff :superstar:

[Medman]

Oh yes! I can still strut my stuff :superstar:

Just more of it to strut these day !! :crylaughing: (like the rest of us) ... :D

[starling]

Just more of it to strut these day !! :crylaughing: (like the rest of us) ... :D

I'll say.......... You come to me ...... Come to me wild and wired. .. :singing:

[Medman]

I'll say.......... You come to me ...... Come to me wild and wired. .. :singing:

"Turner down" the crowd shouted!!

[starling]

"Turner down" the crowd shouted!!

But 'Proud Mary' ignored them :singing:

[Medman]

But 'Proud Mary' ignored them :singing:

And just kept on rolling ?

[starling]

And just kept on rolling ?

Down to the River Deep..........

[Medman]

Down to the River Deep..........

Then onto the mountain high ......

[starling]

Then onto the mountain high ......

..... Then to the Nutbush City Limits

[Medman]

..... Then to the Nutbush City Limits

Beyond the Thunderdome

[starling]

Beyond the Thunderdome

Then Take me to the River

[Medman]

Then Take me to the River

For a private dance

[starling]

For a private dance

.......... Tonight

[Medman]

.......... Tonight

No, Early in the morning ..:snooze:

[starling]

No, Early in the morning ..:snooze:

... Can't wait ...cos I'm Missing You

[hackney58]

... Can't wait ...cos I'm Missing You

Of cause you are!.......... and not so much of the old

[Medman]

Of cause you are!.......... and not so much of the old

Old what ?

[starling]

Old what ?

..... I think he's on the wrong thread. Now where we're we ???

[Medman]

..... I think he's on the wrong thread. Now where we're we ???

He skipped his Turner a Tina wee bit .... :twak:

[starling]

He skipped his Turner and Tina wee bit .... :twak:

And he thinks we're old ???

[Medman]

And he thinks we're old ???

You know what thought did...??...I think ??

[starling]

You know what thought did...??...I think ??

What.... I can't remember ???

[Medman]

What.... I can't remember ???

I forgot to remember too, I think

[starling]

I forgot to remember too, I think

By the way... I forgot to thank you for those Alzheimer's jokes you sent me.

[Medman]

By the way... I forgot to thank you for those Alzheimer's jokes you sent me.

I sent you jokes ? Why don't I remember doing that ??????

[starling]

I sent you jokes ? Why don't I remember doing that ??????

:doh: Alzheimer jokes :whistle:

[Medman]

:doh: Alzheimer jokes :whistle:

Old timer jokes did you say ?

[starling]

Old timer jokes did you say ?

Now how would I know any of them :laugh:

[Medman]

Now how would I know any of them :laugh:

I thought you wrote them .. :crylaughing:

[starling]

I thought you wrote them .. :crylaughing:

..... So did I -Didn't I ???

[Medman]

..... So did I -Didn't I ???

You must be joking

[starling]

You must be joking

..... Jest a minute :laugh:

[Medman]

..... Jest a minute :laugh:

No point in gagging you

[starling]

No point in gagging you

......Mmmmmmm Handcuffs as well?

[Medman]

......Mmmmmmm Handcuffs as well?

I do like a captive audience ... :devil:

[starling]

I do like a captive audience ... :devil:

Ahhhh P.C.Plod eh?

[Medman]

Ahhhh P.C.Plod eh?

I'm very rarely PC

[starling]

I'm very rarely PC

... Semi retired P.C.?

[Medman]

... Semi retired P.C.?

Just help them out when they're busy

[starling]

Just help them out when they're busy

I'll bet they appreciate that!

[Medman]

I'll bet they appreciate that!

Every little helps .. :)

[starling]

Every little helps .. :)

Will that be all Mr Tesco?

[Medman]

Will that be all Mr Tesco?

It Asda been said

[starling]

It Asda been said

aldicide on that one later

[Medman]

aldicide on that one later

The lidl have to be put on this soon

[starling]

The lidl have to be put on this soon

Have you any morrisons?

[Medman]

Have you any morrisons?

For that you will have to Wait Rose

[hackney58]

For that you will have to Wait Rose

Dewhurst would know.......................

[Medman]

Dewhurst would know.......................

They will know the Safeway to do it

[starling]

They will know the Safeway to do it

So you'd better Co-op erate.

[Medman]

So you'd better Co-op erate.

I'm not Budgen on this one

[starling]

I'm not Budgen on this one

..... And remain a Happy Shopper.

[Medman]

..... And remain a Happy Shopper.

That will be a-Mace-ing

[starling]

That will be a-Mace-ing

Aldi ny it

[Medman]

Aldi ny it

That's Sparticularly deceitful

[starling]

That's Sparticularly deceitful

Well, I have to be a Cost Cutter then!

[Medman]

Well, I have to be a Cost Cutter then!

Hey Presto ! that's magic !

[starling]

Hey Presto ! that's magic !

OMG ... You sound like Paul Daniels now!

[Medman]

OMG ... You sound like Paul Daniels now!

Only a good bit taller and poorer !

[starling]

Only a good bit taller and poorer !

Well, nobody can be any smaller... Surely.

[Medman]

Well, nobody can be any smaller... Surely.

Not a lot ! .......... :lol:

[starling]

Not a lot ! .......... :lol:

......... But like it :eyebrows:

[Medman]

......... But like it :eyebrows:

Debbie seems to !! "Tell me Debbie, what attracted you to this short, baldy, ugly millionaire ? "

[starling]

Debbie seems to !! "Tell me Debbie, what attracted you to this short, baldy, ugly millionaire ? "

....... Well Medman, My guide dog took him!

[Medman]

....... Well Medman, My guide dog took him!

Must have good eyesight to spot him

[starling]

Must have good eyesight to spot him

He is, he can even spot Dalmations.

[Medman]

He is, he can even spot Dalmations.

But can he catch a retriever ?

[starling]

But can he catch a retriever ?

Yes, and round up Collies

[Medman]

Yes, and round up Collies

While eating a sausage dog ?

[starling]

While eating a sausage dog ?

..... And a hot dog

[Medman]

..... And a hot dog

enjoying a noodle with a poodle

[starling]

enjoying a noodle with a poodle

And an Orgy with a Corgi

[Medman]

And an Orgy with a Corgi

That would be fab with a lab

[starling]

That would be fab with a lab

..... Even better with a Setter!

[Medman]

..... Even better with a Setter!

A revelation with an alsatian

[starling]

A revelation with an alsatian

And go all the hog ..... With a Bulldog

[Medman]

And go all the hog ..... With a Bulldog

then detox 'er with a boxer

[starling]

then detox 'er with a boxer

And knock spots of the nation with a Dalmation

[Medman]

And knock spots of the nation with a Dalmation

while not a sound from the hound

[starling]

while not a sound from the hound

A Bichon Frise could be the Bees Knees

[Medman]

A Bichon Frise could be the Bees Knees

add a bit of glitz with a Finnish Spitz

[starling]

add a bit of glitz with a Finnish Spitz

Could go with a bang ... If with an Afghan.

[Medman]

Could go with a bang ... If with an Afghan.

That could be a pain with a Great Dane

[starling]

That could be a pain with a Great Dane

Would it be legal with a Beagle?

[Medman]

Would it be legal with a Beagle?

Certainly a tussle with a Jack Russell

[starling]

Certainly a tussle with a Jack Russell

Look what you could do with a Shih Tsu

[Medman]

Look what you could do with a Shih Tsu

make it give the Pug a hug

[starling]

make it give the Pug a hug

It'd be just a snippet with a whippet

[Medman]

It'd be just a snippet with a whippet

And a bit of nooky with a Saluki

[starling]

And a bit of nooky with a Saluki

And what a shocker with a Cocker

[Medman]

And what a shocker with a Cocker

That would be jolly said the Collie

[starling]

That would be jolly said the Collie

Perhaps a clincher with the Pinscher

[Medman]

Perhaps a clincher with the Pinscher

Canny fail with an Airedale

[starling]

Canny fail with an Airedale

Could be a bit of a tussle with a Jack Russell

[Medman]

Could be a bit of a tussle with a Jack Russell

We've done that one ......... so I've taken the lead :D .......:doggy2:

[starling]

We've done that one ......... so I've taken the lead :D .......:doggy2:

Go on then ..... Fetch :doggy:

[Medman]

Go on then ..... Fetch :doggy:

It's just that I like to "winalot" of games ..:D

[starling]

It's just that I like to "winalot" of games ..:D

Tell us where you've buried your bone :eyebrows:

[Medman]

Tell us where you've buried your bone :eyebrows:

I have a lot of hidey holes ...... :hole::hole::hole::hole::hole:

[starling]

I have a lot of hidey holes ...... :hole::hole::hole::hole::hole:

Which one ar e you hiding in?

[Medman]

Which one ar e you hiding in?

The one with the bar ....... :drunk2:

[starling]

The one with the bar ....... :drunk2:

So this will be the next one ... :snooze:

[Medman]

So this will be the next one ... :snooze:

Coming to a kennel near you

[starling]

Coming to a kennel near you

I think you're barking up the wrong tree.

[Medman]

I think you're barking up the wrong tree.

I'm just feeling a bit ruff

[starling]

I'm just feeling a bit ruff

..... Or barking mad

[Medman]

..... Or barking mad

Do dirty dogs go humaning ?

[onelegnofeet]

Only when they arnt trying to hump my legs ,i now have 4 to choose from !!!

[starling]

Only when they arnt trying to hump my legs ,i now have 4 to choose from !!!

Well, we can no longer tell you to 'op it then.

Hi oneleg, nice to see you on here again :hello:

[starling]

Did anyone see the meteor shower the other night?

[Medman]

Did anyone see the meteor shower the other night?

No, mine is a Triton shower ...........:shower:

[Santiago]

No, mine is a Triton shower ...........:shower:

Mine's an Aqualisa power shower - posh, eh? http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/toilet/singing-in-shower.gif (http://www.sherv.net/emoticons.html)

[Medman]

Mine's an Aqualisa power shower - posh, eh? http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/toilet/singing-in-shower.gif (http://www.sherv.net/emoticons.html)

Not as posh as that smiley !

[starling]

Not as posh as that smiley !

Mine's a rain shower :rain:

[Medman]

Mine's a rain shower :rain:

We have that on tap

[Santiago]

We have that on tap

Ah, butt is it fresh?

[Medman]

Ah, butt is it fresh?

As a well watered daisy (your avatar)

[starling]

As a well watered daisy (your avatar)

Ahhhhh! How sweet :v3::laugh:

[Medman]

Ahhhhh! How sweet :v3::laugh:

I know, I just can't help myself at times.........:tongue:

[starling]

I know, I just can't help myself at times.........:tongue:

Well, there is a place where you can have treatment ???

[Medman]

Well, there is a place where you can have treatment ???

I'm on the waiting list ... :crazy:

[starling]

I'm on the waiting list ... :crazy:

So am I...see you there :spin:

[Medman]

So am I...see you there :spin:

That will be one CARAZY party :stupid:

[Santiago]

You will probably see my cousin in there - she is known as well watered Daisy!!

[Medman]

You will probably see my cousin in there - she is known as well watered Daisy!!

I will pull her chain

[Santiago]

I will pull her chain

And she will give her answer http://www.tiptopglobe.com/skin/smile/s4677.gif (http://www.tiptopglobe.com/free-smiles-smileys-emoticons-blog-forum-email)

[Medman]

And she will give her answer http://www.tiptopglobe.com/skin/smile/s4677.gif (http://www.tiptopglobe.com/free-smiles-smileys-emoticons-blog-forum-email)

Suppose that's called a chain reaction ? :idea:

[Santiago]

Suppose that's called a chain reaction ? :idea:

That was really good - bet you are flushed with success!

[Medman]

That was really good - bet you are flushed with success!

Time for a roll call

[Santiago]

Time for a roll call

But what have you done with the ball c o c k?

[Medman]

But what have you done with the ball c o c k?

I think I'm going insanitary :spin:

[Santiago]

I think I'm going insanitary :spin:

Just a wee bit!!

[Sunlover]

If it's yellow let it mellow!

[Medman]

If it's yellow let it mellow!

If it's green it's obscene

[starling]

If it's green it's obscene

If it's blue there's not much you can do!

[Medman]

If it's blue there's not much you can do!

If it's brown then you better sit down

[Santiago]

If it's brown then you better sit down

If it's red, then it's all been said!

[starling]

If it's red, then it's all been said!

If it's grey, there's not much to say.

[Medman]

If it's grey, there's not much to say.

If it's white, you're in for a fright

[starling]

If it's white, you're in for a fright

What if it's pink and makes a stink?

[Medman]

What if it's pink and makes a stink?

Only if it's shocking then folk will start talking

[Santiago]

Only if it's shocking then folk will start talking

If it's plum, then you're dumb!

[Medman]

If it's plum, then you're dumb!

If it's black, there's no going back

[starling]

If it's black, there's no going back

If it's red... Well, you're dead.

[Medman]

If it's red... Well, you're dead.

It it's fawn, you'll soon be gone

[starling]

It it's fawn, you'll soon be gone

If it's maroon your times up soon.

[Medman]

If it's maroon your times up soon.

If it's lime, then it's your time

[TenerifeFanatic]

If it's lime, then it's your timeIf it is yellow.........throw up on your pillow!!

[Medman]

If it is yellow.........throw up on your pillow!!

If it's buff, then you've had enough

[TenerifeFanatic]

If it's buff, then you've had enough
If you have had enough.....it is time to give it up!!!!!!!

[Medman]

If you have had enough.....it is time to give it up!!!!!!! Ok, so rhyming isn't your strong point ! :D


If it's cream, start to scream

[TenerifeFanatic]

Ok, so rhyming isn't your strong point ! :D


If it's cream, start to scream
On the contrary.......I am quite contraaaaaaaaary!!!

[Medman]

On the contrary.......I am quite contraaaaaaaaary!!!

Oh God, it gets worse

If it's tan, flush the pan

[TenerifeFanatic]

Oh God, it gets worse

If it's tan, flush the panIf it's green........stretch and lean..........

[Medman]

If it's green........stretch and lean.......... getting the hang of it now !

If that's lincoln, I bet it's stinkin'

[Santiago]

If it's green........stretch and lean.......... getting the hang of it now !

If that's lincoln, I bet it's stinkin'

If you're crying, then it's cyan

[Medman]

[QUOTE=Medman;283412]

If you're crying, then it's cyan

If it's gold, you'll get it sold

[TenerifeFanatic]

[QUOTE=Medman;283412]

If you're crying, then it's cyanto get a jolt.....slide the bolt.......

[Medman]

[QUOTE=Santiago;283420]to get a jolt.....slide the bolt.......

If you're TenerifeFanatic, then you're bloody eratic ......:spin::crazy:

[TenerifeFanatic]

[QUOTE=TenerifeFanatic;283424]

If you're TenerifeFanatic, then you're bloody eratic ......:spin::crazy:

If your expression's deadpan......then you 're not thinkin' Medman!!!

[Santiago]

[QUOTE=TenerifeFanatic;283424]

If you're TenerifeFanatic, then you're bloody eratic ......:spin::crazy:

If it's amber, you can do the samba or the mamba, by caramba

[Medman]

[QUOTE=Medman;283427]

If it's amber, you can do the samba or the mamba, by caramba

If it's jade, you're beginning to fade

[TenerifeFanatic]

[QUOTE=Santiago;283434]

If it's jade, you're beginning to fadeIf you're in Ayrshire are you pear shaped?

[Santiago]

[QUOTE=Santiago;283434]

If it's jade, you're beginning to fade

If it's bronze, get out your long johns

[Medman]

[QUOTE=Medman;283436]If you're in Ayrshire rare you pear shaped?

I didn't know east Neuk of Fife had their own language ......:D

If you're in Fife, then blame the wife

[Ecky Thump]

[QUOTE=TenerifeFanatic;283438]

I didn't know east Neuk of Fife had their own language ......:D

If you're in Fife, then blame the wife


In Arran, all the women are barren.

[TenerifeFanatic]

[QUOTE=TenerifeFanatic;283438]

I didn't know east Neuk of Fife had their own language ......:D

If you're in Fife, then blame the wifeWhen on "The Reef " ...pile on the beef!

[Ecky Thump]

[QUOTE=Medman;283442]When on "The Reef " ...pile on the beef!

The girls in Auchteradar try harder!