How to Insult Folk wi' Style.

[Harmonicaman]

To someone who has never won "Mr. Handsome of the Year" award...

1. He looks like he's been dookin' for apples in a chip pan...

2. He's got a face like a bag o' spanners...

3. He's got a face like a melted welly...

4. (My favourite) He's got a face like a dug lickin' pish aff a nettle...

5. He looks like he's been set on fire and pit oot wi' a golf shoe...

6. He's got a face like a bulldog sookin' a wasp...



any more?:eyebrows:

[AL JAY]

He's got a face only a mother could love!!!

[Harmonicaman]

What did the Siamese twins from Glasgow call their autobiography?
Oor Wullie.

After announcing he's getting married, a boy tells his pal he'll be wearing a kilt at the ceremony. "And what's the tartan?" asks his mate. "Oh, she'll be wearing a white dress".

Ten cows in a field. Which one is closest to Iraq?
Coo eight.

Three wee jobbies sitting on the pavement. Which one's a Musketeer?
The dark tan yin.

A Glasgow man, steaming and skint, is walking down Argyle Street, when he spots a guy tinkering with the engine of his car. "Whit's up Jimmy?" he asks.
"Piston broke," he replies.
"Aye, same as masel!".

[with cheese]

How do you get a Glaswegian woman pregnant.

[Harmonicaman]

How do you get a Glaswegian woman pregnant.



and?... you've got to gie us the punchline!:eyebrows:

[with cheese]

You don't know Thicko, ask her for a Sh*g.......................:hole::lol::lol:

[Harmonicaman]

"He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright".

[CaribeCelt]

In The North of Ireland here when a Man or Woman was seen sporting the worst fashion going,the speak woul be:
I would'nt take Him/Her to the spuds.
EG. Potato picking.

[with cheese]

They do that in Liverpool and call it Potato nicking, oh and the odd side of beef and 4 bottles of plonk to go with it

[Harmonicaman]

In The North of Ireland here when a Man or Woman was seen sporting the worst fashion going,the speak woul be:
I would'nt take Him/Her to the spuds.
EG. Potato picking.
Jeez, remember them cold October mornings with frost on the ground and just starting the tattie picking. It was good money for us youngsters though. At the end of the day you couldn't straighten your back as you'd been bent over for so long!:lol:

[sunspot]

Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said
she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like
that!