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View Full Version : Business Chat €100,000 to invest in a business in Tenerife...



CIM
06-06-2011, 22:31
Hypothetical situation:
You are skint (in the sun :lol:) but itīs your lucky day! You have been left 100,000€ by a long lost uncle but his only stipulation is that you must invest the lot into a business in Tenerife. You can start one or you can buy one. But you cannot simply buy one, sell it and take the money. You must reach a turnover of 500,000€ before you can sell up - what do you stick your money into (it can be multiple businesses if you like.) If the business doesnt turn a profit - you lose the lot.

Also, your uncle wasnīt a prick - he has hired a right ******* of a lawyer to watch over you and if he thinks you are trying to cheat and be a smart ass - the lawyer takes the lot off you and gives it to Cat Man Dave (http://www.tenerifeforum.org/tenerife-forum/member.php?19-DJ-Dangerous) and his cats instead!

fonica
06-06-2011, 22:37
You could buy four apartments in Costa del Silencio and pray for a turn around in the property market.Or you could just give it back to your uncles lawyers before the Hacienda take it of you for unpaid fines (neither you nor they know what unpaid fines but they take it anyway and suggest that you then apply to get it back).

CIM
06-06-2011, 22:41
Waiting for a turnaround in the property market - thats a VERY long term plan...!

with cheese
06-06-2011, 22:48
I would buy a forum with lots of adverts and only reasonable moderation.

Greg
06-06-2011, 22:52
Q- How do you end up with a small fortune in Tenerife?
A- Start off with a large one!
Methinks there will always be more losers than winners on our little rock! :whistle:

CIM
06-06-2011, 22:54
Bit like a casino then!

bonitatime
06-06-2011, 22:54
There are always ideas out there.

CIM
06-06-2011, 22:56
There are always ideas out there.
I agree - I think you have to be cynical, switched on and patient to spot them though.
Where as must people buying a business are on holiday, half cut, inexperienced, way too positive and stupid...

with cheese
06-06-2011, 22:59
I agree - I think you have to be cynical, switched on and patient to spot them though.
Where as must people buying a business are on holiday, half cut, inexperienced, way too positive and stupid...
That is some of the mods covered then, lol

christa
06-06-2011, 23:11
Try and buy the freehold of a bar (hopefully more than one) in a touristic area, hope that the frequent comings and goings of tenants means that the key money payable would soon realise 500,000 after a period of time. Thus giving you the opportunity to sell, should you so wish, or hang on in there and recoup maybe even more?? :)

atlantico
06-06-2011, 23:15
i'd become a mortgage advisor . . . . . . . good money in that I've heard . . . . . lots of spare time to post threads on forums too !

CIM
06-06-2011, 23:26
Try and buy the freehold of a bar (hopefully more than one) in a touristic area, hope that the frequent comings and goings of tenants means that the key money payable would soon realise 500,000 after a period of time. Thus giving you the opportunity to sell, should you so wish, or hang on in there and recoup maybe even more?? :)
Oh very good! Probably one of the most profitable schemes going over the last 20 years. Especially when you realise these places were picked up for peanuts back in the day!


i'd become a mortgage advisor . . . . . . . good money in that I've heard . . . . . lots of spare time to post threads on forums too !
I dare you to try! Iīve never worked so friggin hard for so little money as I have on some of my recent cases! Thankfully I have a multitude of hats :)

Greg
06-06-2011, 23:55
Try and buy the freehold of a bar (hopefully more than one) in a touristic area, hope that the frequent comings and goings of tenants means that the key money payable would soon realise 500,000 after a period of time. Thus giving you the opportunity to sell, should you so wish, or hang on in there and recoup maybe even more?? :)
You'd be better off at the bookies!

christa
07-06-2011, 00:11
You'd be better off at the bookies!

No, I'm not a gambler.
If I had 500,000 I would be prepared to sit on my investment,a freehold bar in the right location would be my preferred investment. I'm not heartless, I would not be breaking any laws, I would love for tenants to fullfil their dream and earn good money and live a happy fullfilled lifestyle. Which of course would provide me with an income. But if their dream turned into a nightmare, they moved on.............. err... next!
Know what I mean?

CIM
07-06-2011, 00:15
Well you only got 100,000€ so whatcha gonna do with that much?

christa
07-06-2011, 00:23
Well you only got 100,000€ so whatcha gonna do with that much?

Yeah, your right. 100k is peanuts. How much for a pack deck? :spin:

sundownersvince
07-06-2011, 00:40
Christa..........bright birdie me thinks........any wonga?

conway
07-06-2011, 05:21
I would set up a UK clothing store, with labels like Primark, Next etc. Maybe even a franchise?

with cheese
07-06-2011, 06:53
I would open an a shop selling timeshares and have 50 people on the street to hassle tourists take all their money, not pay any wages then when at 500,000, p-off to the mountains.

9PLUS
07-06-2011, 07:47
in many cases your 100 grand investment wouldn't be enough to recoperate your target profit.

reggie
07-06-2011, 10:14
First of all i would need to loose 30 years, just to get my killer instinct back, then i would look at importing cars and vans, seems like there way too much in tenerife, maybe take them both ways, Ive not looked into it, but I'm sure theres a shilling to be had, But thinkiing about it now, i couldnt be arsed anymore, keep your 100k

megsdad
07-06-2011, 10:42
I would open an a shop selling timeshares and have 50 people on the street to hassle tourists take all their money, not pay any wages then when at 500,000, p-off to the mountains.

Hasnīt that been done too many times now?
I for one would "invest" uncles money in one of those traspaso things. First thing, I donīt want one that is too busy, donīt want to make too much money, and no food , again too much work for all that profit.
No, me and the missus with absolutely no experience in the industry, apart from the other side of the bar, want to open at 6-ish after a day on the beach, karaoke on Monday, quiz on Tuesday, a couple of those young kids who are over looking for jobs behind the bar, because they wouldnīt fiddle the jewish piano, so me and the missus can socialize and be the envy of our friends.
Tax? no carpets in Tenerife so donīt need them, business plan? Iīve just told you !! back up capital? Iīve paid 100 k and the agent, who knows the bar, said that WE are the couple to make the place work, and he should know he has seen several couples fail in there.
Uncles money and profit back in a year !!! just one question? Anyone know of a bar for sale in Tenerife ??

with cheese
07-06-2011, 10:55
Stick the 100k in an account, get a dodgy accountant, not many of those around are the. Then offer him 25k to set up dodgy company, dodgy accounts with 500k made, sell take 100k out, pay accountant keep 75k, fold company job done, ta.

Sundowner
07-06-2011, 11:46
I would open a Pawnbrokers.................right climate to make a lot of money.

tonypub
07-06-2011, 11:49
I would open a Pawnbrokers.................right climate to make a lot of money.most pawn is free now:whip::raspberry2:

with cheese
07-06-2011, 12:07
Rather pay more satisfaction and less chance of a virtual disease.

kezz
07-06-2011, 15:46
Answer is very simple.

Buy my place, make as much money as i've done. Enjoy the rewards and avoid the cardboard box.

As said. Simple.

Oh, Oh, Oh, It'll only use half the money.

Toodle

kezz

caroletenerife
07-06-2011, 17:39
Just give it straight to the cats, money better spent;)

Tom & Sharon
07-06-2011, 17:58
Hasnīt that been done too many times now?
I for one would "invest" uncles money in one of those traspaso things. First thing, I donīt want one that is too busy, donīt want to make too much money, and no food , again too much work for all that profit.
No, me and the missus with absolutely no experience in the industry, apart from the other side of the bar, want to open at 6-ish after a day on the beach, karaoke on Monday, quiz on Tuesday, a couple of those young kids who are over looking for jobs behind the bar, because they wouldnīt fiddle the jewish piano, so me and the missus can socialize and be the envy of our friends.
Tax? no carpets in Tenerife so donīt need them, business plan? Iīve just told you !! back up capital? Iīve paid 100 k and the agent, who knows the bar, said that WE are the couple to make the place work, and he should know he has seen several couples fail in there.
Uncles money and profit back in a year !!! just one question? Anyone know of a bar for sale in Tenerife ??

I know of one that might soon be for sale on the Golf ;) :whistle:

marbro8
07-06-2011, 21:28
i would buy a bar, be it well known or not and offer megga portions of food, has anyone ever watched the programme man versus food? it is filmed in america and those places are regularly rammed!!, they offer food of megga portions and if you finish it you get to have your picture on the wall of fame and a trophy and a t-shirt, we were over in may harley's where doing it with a burger, not only do you get people in to do the challenge but loads come to watch!! so even if they are not having food they are drinking:eyebrows:

with cheese
07-06-2011, 21:32
Marbs you could invite all the Paks and Banghis over from brum and do a mega curry burger

reggie
07-06-2011, 21:36
Marbs you could invite all the Paks and Banghis over from brum and do a mega curry burger

What with 100k, i dont think you realise how bad the situation is, off the 6 oclock ferrie from calais maybe,

with cheese
07-06-2011, 21:46
Does the ferry from Calais go to Brum?

reggie
07-06-2011, 22:01
Does the ferry from Calais go to Brum?

Eventuly, them tw-ts are everywhere, They will cost us 100k each by the time they finish, No joke, incest with cousins producing more expense, Its a bl--dy shambles

TenerifePool
07-06-2011, 23:47
100K would be just enough to make a small cash payment to 50%+1 of owners on a tourist complex to encourage them to contract me as the sole letting agent.

Or failing that a SP licence and a white mercedes for airport transfers.