The best time to observe these beasts is during the Wood Nymph Frolics when even the young haggis will run round hills and search for late night bars which would serve their favourite tipple made by the happy haggis hugger Macbeth who lived in a nearby bothy dug out with his bare hands after applying a liberal doze of extra virgin oil strained from the old sheet which was once used to wrap up fish suppers from Nandos chip shop where Linda and Ecky were frequent shakers and movers following a good night out at The Wheeltappers And Punters Club where Good Old Days was ergonomically transpositioned in to yesterday when gay meant different things to Scottish Country dancers who didn't mince and mobile phones were massive bricks which didn't connect unless you had made sure that the huge aerial was stuck up about three feet above your head while standing on a tall box. But once micro-chips became the norm then all electronic devices became the smallest since time began enabling everyone to afford the
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