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Thread: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

  1. #1071
    Super Tenerifian

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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

    a series of bodies have been found all were wearing plain white Tshirts police are looking for a motif

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    Super Tenerifian Tshirt's Avatar

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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

    My french wife fancied a meal to remind her of home. She asked me to go and get a bag of snails. So I went down to the pet shop and got a bag of snails. While I was there I saw one of my old friends and he fancied a pint. I thought "one won't hurt!" So, 12 pints and 6 hours later I'm walking back to our house and I'm about 20 feet from our door and I spill all the snails on the floor, at that moment the wife swings the door open and shouts " where the hell have you been !!!!! ?"
    I thought quickly and turned to the snails and shouted " come on lads! We're nearly there!"


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  6. #1073
    ALWAYS WRONG (wife says) Ecky Thump's Avatar

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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

    Robin Hood's girlfriend

    Somewhere in Ireland a teacher asks her class: " Begorrah, now kids, can anyone be telling me the der name of Robin Hood's girlfriend? "

    Young Paddy raises his hand and says, " Oi tink dat it is Trudy Glenn Miss”.

    "No Paddy " says the teacher. "The answer is Maid Marion ".

    But Miss, what about dat song we used to sing: “Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding Trudy Glenn”.

    I bet you're singing it now??

    SORRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Live your life so that even the undertaker is sad to see you die.

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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here




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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

    History of the Condom

    I've always been a student of history but I didn't know this.

    In 1272, the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.



    In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

    i once went to a scottish golf club there was a sign that said all scottish members must refrain from picking up lost golf balls until they have stopped rolling

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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here




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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

    Hahahaha!!! This made my day. Thanks!

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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

    Wonderfully British!
    On a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.
    "The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy.
    You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me... I'm me!
    I have a little Italian in me, a bit of Greek blood, a little Irish and some Spanish blood. What do you say to that?"
    The Englishman lowered his newspaper, looks over his glasses and replied,
    "How very sporting of your mother!"


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    Re: Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

    Nicola Sturgeon, Donald Trump, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
    While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
    The Devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
    Putin calls Russia and talks for 5 minutes.
    When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a cheque.
    Next Donald Trump calls the U.S. and talks for 30 minutes.
    When he's finished the devil informs him that the cost is 6 million dollars, so Trump writes him a cheque.
    Finally Nicola Sturgeon gets her turn and calls Scotland for 4 hours. When she's finished, the devil informed her that there would be no charge and feel free to call Scotland anytime.
    Putin and Trump go ballistic and ask the devil why did Nicola Sturgeon got to call Scotland free.
    The devil replied, "Since Nicola Sturgeon became First Minister of Scotland, the Country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."
    Ted

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