My french wife fancied a meal to remind her of home. She asked me to go and get a bag of snails. So I went down to the pet shop and got a bag of snails. While I was there I saw one of my old friends and he fancied a pint. I thought "one won't hurt!" So, 12 pints and 6 hours later I'm walking back to our house and I'm about 20 feet from our door and I spill all the snails on the floor, at that moment the wife swings the door open and shouts " where the hell have you been !!!!! ?"
I thought quickly and turned to the snails and shouted " come on lads! We're nearly there!"
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