Tenerife Forum joke thread: Post all your jokes here

[Tshirt]

Heard about the Chinese chippy that mistook daffodil bulbs for shallots and 4 people were hospitalized !.............they said they'd be out in the spring ! ��

[Tshirt]

A woman takes her 18-year-old daughter to the doctor.
The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?"
The mother says, "It's my daughter Darla. She keeps getting these cravings, she's putting on weight, and is sick most mornings."
The doctor gives Darla a good examination, then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don't know how to tell you this, but your Darla is pregnant - about 4 months, would be my guess."
The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can't be, she has never ever been left alone with a man!
Have you, Darla?"
Darla says, "No mother! I've never even kissed a man!"
The doctor walked over to the window and just stares out of it.
About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?"
The doctor replies, "No, not really, it's just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill.
I'll be darned if I'm going to miss it this time!"


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[imablue]

A series of bodies have been found.
All of the victims were found to be wearing white T-Shirts.
Police can find no sign of a motif.

[tub]

the wife said butterflies only live for a month. thats a myth i replied. no she said thats definitely a butterfly

[Roadkingrider]

I've just deleted all my German friends from my mobile's contact list................I wanted it to be Hans free.

[Tshirt]

One for the Jocks.
Condom factory burns down in ENGLAND
Rt. Hon Andy Burnham MP MINISTER FOR HEALTH is awoken at 4 am by the telephone.
Sorry to bother you at this hour, but there is an emergency!!
I've just received word that the Durex factory in Liverpool has burned to the ground.
It is estimated that the entire English supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week.
Rt. Hon Andy Burnham MP: ***** !!
The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies.... We'll be ruined.
We're going to have to ship some in from France?
Bad idea! The frogs will have a field day on this one.
Junior Minister: What about Scotland?
Rt. Hon Andy Burnham MP: I'll call sturgeon
Tell her we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick.
That way they'll continue to respect the English.
Three days later a delighted Andy Burnham MP
runs out to open the boxes that arrived at the Post Office.
He finds five million condoms. 10 inches long, 3 inches thick,
all coloured blue and white with small writing on each one.
MADE IN SCOTLAND - SIZE: MEDIUM

[tub]

my wife has just reused a tea bag ..i have taken out a restraining order against her

[Tshirt]

Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car,
A passing soldier assures her that he can help.
She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, .....
Rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.
Magically it opens.......
"That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?"
"Easy," replies the man. "These are my khakis".

[imablue]

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian
"Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says,
"I don't know if its in yet."


" Yeah that's the one."

[Tshirt]

Nicked off I Love Tenerife FB page for [MENTION=825]Angusjim[/MENTION]





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