The human body has 7 trillion nerves.
My wife manages to get on every bloomin' one of them!
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
"Doorbell repair man"
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I fitted strobe lights in the bedroom.
They're brilliant.
It makes the wife look like she's actually moving during sex...
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Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames Barrier in London .
Police think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam
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Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a
slapper. Get out of my bed right now and take your mates with you!"
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I was getting chatted up by a bird last night.
She said, "Have you got a nickname?"
"Yes" I said, "They call me Sledge"
"OH... Is that because you a sleek and fast?" she giggled
"No...... It's because I get pulled by dogs!"
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Just seen a Dyslexic Yorkshireman wearing a cat flap!"
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I said to the wife, "Get me a newspaper"
"Don't be silly," she said "You can borrow my iPad"
That spider never knew what hit it.
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A big row has broken out in the Irish Olympic Synchronised Diving Team
after Paddy accused Mick of copying him.
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